What Am I Doing???

[CantMakeThisUp]

A couple of years ago my wife had a long term affair. I caught her red handed but ultimately decided to stay. We have two kids and I had the option to stay or go. The plus side of this was she gave me sex on demand and whatever else I wanted (still does).

 

She's been pretty good the past couple of years in trying to win me back. I have clearly not gotten over her infidelity and have desensitized myself enough to go mess around myself and not care.

 

It amazes me how many women who are married or in some sort of committed relationship who don't hesitate to mess around. I've tested the waters and most of you would probably be surprised how many are willing to go have a fling and continue their relationships.

 

I'm noticing most seem to get bored of their relationships or feel something they haven't felt in a long time. It's all the same.

 

We have sex frequently and all still do things as a family. In my heart I know our time together will eventually come to an end. After I found out about her infidelity I knew she wasn't the one for me.

 

There have been many nights of anger, sadness and disgust. This has mostly faded away for the most part but still common for me to think about her and the other guy here and there. I still have some triggers at times.

 

It is bizarre how it affects each person and know that reconciliation isn't for all. I had to vent this all out and don't really have anybody to talk to about it.

 

We operate together pretty good and things have not been bad. I just don't feel any commitment towards her. Is this common for others who have felt similar types of betrayal?

[burnt]

You are going to laugh reading my post--heads up.

 

I am a xMOW (married myself and had an affair with a married man).

 

I only intellectually understand how someone married ends up in an affair.

But for the life of me, on an emotional level, I JUST don't grasp how it's possible for someone to love one person romantically and at the same time have an affair with someone else.

 

I have experienced romantic love with ONLY one person in my life--with my xMM. I try to imagine--if I were with him in a relationship, could I even consider the thought of being with someone else? It feels like a vulgar thought.

 

But here we are--I now am a certified mistress and an adulterer. Bravo me.

 

So, if I may say so, at the risk of being laughed at, I actually understand and share your horrified reaction to discovering how many people (men & women) who engage in affairs.

 

Reading what you have written about how you feel towards your wife, may I strongly suggest that you seriously rethink about whether or not you should stay in the marriage?

 

You are so (rightfully) disgusted with your wife's behavior that you are now starting to see her behavior as some sort of a norm for many many other women. There's something in your very tone of voice that suggests a sense of disrespectful and degrading view towards women in general.

 

But you must understand that NOT all women are like that. And if you continue to stay with her (to get on-demand sex and whatever else you desire), you are now treating her like a servant of some sort.

 

The problem is, while you psychologically feel somewhat relieved by feeling you're treating her the way she DESERVES to be treated, DO realize that you are actually depriving yourself of genuine emotional human connection.

 

NO man or woman can survive for any prolonged amount of time living like the way you are--void of genuine MUTUAL affection and respect.

 

By the time you finally leave, you will be so bitter that even if you meet a loyal wonderful woman, your mind will be too corrupted by then by the resentment you hold against your wife.

 

So,

I say again. Why not divorce? Why not take some time off and then discover someone you truly love and be loved by?

[Jersey born raised]

You messed around, how?

 

So you are now what she was and she is now who you where?

 

Sex on demand ? Is she just an inexpensive escort at this point?

 

Your title "what am I doing" perhaps it should read "what do I want and how do I get it"?

 

Sounds like a pity party on your part at this point. Is this to blunt?

 

There are always issues that lead to adultery, some have to do with the BS and others nothing to do with the BS. Adultery is not unlike using a bucket full aviation fuel on a small kitchen fire. RA(s) are the BS swithchimg out water in a fire truck to high test gasoline.

 

Why don't you start at the beginning with what you wanted on the day you married and what happened since then.

 

Be well.

[Clay]

I am not a fan of reconciling. I tried that and it did not work out for me. What are you doing to heal yourself. Did you get into counseling? Did you both enter into marriage counseling? Is there anything still dragging this out like the OM still being in the picture to some degree?

 

I think you should either reinvest in your marriage or get out. You decided to stay and give her another chance so why not really invest in that chance.

 

If your just not interested in that then you should be decent and divorce her. The best you can do is leave on good terms so the children suffer less.

 

C

[mellywell]

So she had one affair and you have had several? hers was long term and yours are just "because I can"?

 

What is stopping you from just divorcing?

[CantMakeThisUp]

Sorry, I didn't mean to come off like "all" women are like that. I have nothing against women at all. I love them and find many very attractive.

 

What I was trying to get out without sounding disrespectful to women is there seems to be many who crave things outside of their relationships. The same goes for men too, I just threw it out there for women.

 

I really don't want to become like you suggested. What's preventing me from leaving? Well, I suppose I'm just kicking the can down the road but it's really not too bad.

 

I know that probably sounds a bit confusing and selfish but most days are good, some days are annoying and even less days are anger filled days about what SHE had done.

 

I used to have a pretty large wall up with the women around me before I found out about my wife's affair. Now I just run with it when I feel like somebody else is digging in.

 

We tried counseling but it faded away. She never really wanted to discuss much of what she did and I feel like most of it was rug swept.

 

By no means is she my servant or sex in the box. She enjoys it just as much as I do. I make sure she's treated well.

 

I just have weird mixed emotions right now but feel like being selfish which is making me confused. I just needed some sort of vent session. I know I'm probably going to be attacked on here but hope there can also be some constructive criticism .

[CantMakeThisUp]

You are going to laugh reading my post--heads up.

 

I am a xMOW (married myself and had an affair with a married man).

 

I only intellectually understand how someone married ends up in an affair.

But for the life of me, on an emotional level, I JUST don't grasp how it's possible for someone to love one person romantically and at the same time have an affair with someone else.

 

I have experienced romantic love with ONLY one person in my life--with my xMM. I try to imagine--if I were with him in a relationship, could I even consider the thought of being with someone else? It feels like a vulgar thought.

 

But here we are--I now am a certified mistress and an adulterer. Bravo me.

 

So, if I may say so, at the risk of being laughed at, I actually understand and share your horrified reaction to discovering how many people (men & women) who engage in affairs.

 

Reading what you have written about how you feel towards your wife, may I strongly suggest that you seriously rethink about whether or not you should stay in the marriage?

 

You are so (rightfully) disgusted with your wife's behavior that you are now starting to see her behavior as some sort of a norm for many many other women. There's something in your very tone of voice that suggests a sense of disrespectful and degrading view towards women in general.

 

But you must understand that NOT all women are like that. And if you continue to stay with her (to get on-demand sex and whatever else you desire), you are now treating her like a servant of some sort.

 

The problem is, while you psychologically feel somewhat relieved by feeling you're treating her the way she DESERVES to be treated, DO realize that you are actually depriving yourself of genuine emotional human connection.

 

NO man or woman can survive for any prolonged amount of time living like the way you are--void of genuine MUTUAL affection and respect.

 

By the time you finally leave, you will be so bitter that even if you meet a loyal wonderful woman, your mind will be too corrupted by then by the resentment you hold against your wife.

 

So,

I say again. Why not divorce? Why not take some time off and then discover someone you truly love and be loved by?

 

Did you duty sex your husband through your affair? I get those feelings with my wife. Just the thought of her being with that other guy makes me cringe.

 

I guess if I do exhibit those feelings there must be some sort of deeper love than what's on the surface.

 

I'm not sure if it's the love or betrayal aspects of the affair. I haven't really touched into my most inner feelings to try and decipher exactly what I feel and how to interpret those feelings.

 

Maybe we'll eventually get to a better place as the years tick by. It's not a bad environment for the kids. We don't fight, we do things as a family. I guess it's not that bad yeah?

 

I just have very mixed emotions about our future and wanted to see if that's normal.

[HereNorThere]

I'm with ya, buddy. I'm single now, relatively decent looking with a relatively decent salary and it would be MUCH easier to sleep with married women.

 

Single women want to be wined, dined, won over and you're literally competing 100s of millions if not billions of other men for them. Married women have an extra 30 minutes before soccer practice and need someone close by that can keep a secret.

 

If you're just looking for sex and don't mind breaking up families, hurting children, and possibly causing their spouse to commit suicide, married women are the much better deal, no doubt. However, I actually enjoy the thrill of the chase and starting a relationship. Plus, I don't think any woman is worth the amount of drama getting involved with a married person entails. You have to be pretty desperate to even go there. I really have no need to steal another man's table scraps.

 

I don't date married women or cheat because I don't want to be part of a process that creates more broken people like you. I don't know you, but you're my fellow man and I have empathy for you. I don't have to know you to know that my actions can hurt you. Whether I hurt you face to face with a blade in my hand and watch you bleed out or I sit in a control room thousands of miles away and use a drone to bomb you, hurting someone is hurting someone. I can't just detach from that because the killing was done without intimacy.

 

This idea of "well, I was hurt so now I can hurt other people" is pretty toxic. You're the one who chose to stay with a cheater, so either accept it or move on. Being betrayed by someone isn't a license to steal. There's a level hypocrisy there if you are judging cheating married women while doing the same thing they are. You speak of them with such disgust, but you fail to mention any disgust for yourself. Why are you holding others to a standard you are unwilling to hold yourself to?

 

With that being said, I do know it's harder than it sounds with kids and everything else and I know how bad it feels to be betrayed. It sounds like it's time to set yourself free before you end up messing up your kids lives as well. Only you know what your dealbreakers are and obviously this is one of them. I'm the exact same way and always thought I would run as fast as I could, but when it happened to me, I shamefully did the "pick me" dance like everyone else, so I totally understand. Luckily I didn't drag it out as long as you have before I left, but I also did not have children at the time or I probably would have.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you and I do hope you find peace. In the meantime, try not to create anymore victims. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to start copying and pasting my posts just to keep up with the amount of new users you're sending our way.

Edited April 20, 2016 by HereNorThere

[aliveagain]

Friend the truth is you never get over it all you can do is learn to live with it better. Long term affairs take a lot of deception and planning between her and her affair partner. They talked in secret and planned against you. They had their own secret life, a life in which you were constantly in the way of. Just think how many times you and her other man had sex with her just hours apart. Trust me it happened. They had all kinds of unprotected sex, they never use protection because the exchanging of bodily fluids is part of the rush.

 

As a betrayed spouse you never get over the imbalance. She got a couple of years of porn star sex with someone else. Her only consequence was having you mad at her for a while and she countered that by giving you more sex. That tactic worked because your still there. The only problem with all that is you don't feel good about having been the outsider/third man in your own marriage. She put you in that position and hid the fact from you. Had you not caught her she would still be in her affair. Reconciliation is harder when you catch them because you still don't know where her loyalties lie. I had a hard time with the thought of my ex being tainted. Some of us just don't get over infidelity specially long term infidelity. Don't stay for the kids and don't compromise yourself. The truth is you don't feel committed to her because you now know that she was never really committed to you, if she was she would never have let another man near her. Treat her with the same respect she showed you.

[CantMakeThisUp]

Thanks guy, I get it. I never really looked at myself at the prowler. I don't go after married women. I'm not a bad looking guy and am very social.

 

I'm not hear to break families. There was a deeper sense to what they wanted to moved in on it. I was indeed kind of surprised by this.

 

What is stopping me from leaving? Again, it's not too bad right now. Why not be just as selfish as she was and have my own fun?

 

It doesn't need to be with married women. I was just saying they seem to be crawling out of their own relationships to try and get something.

 

Am I disgusted with myself? I don't know. I'm desensitized to some aspects of cheating. For me, I don't feel like I'm even cheating. I carry no remorse or sympathy. I'm guilt free. I would though rather be with somebody who doesn't have the baggage.

 

I do however get how some people who engage in affairs may feel more secure with somebody else in some sort of relationship if they're trying to hide it. Both have something to lose yeah?

[CantMakeThisUp]

Friend the truth is you never get over it all you can do is learn to live with it better. Long term affairs take a lot of deception and planning between her and her affair partner. They talked in secret and planned against you. They had their own secret life, a life in which you were constantly in the way of. Just think how many times you and her other man had sex with her just hours apart. Trust me it happened. They had all kinds of unprotected sex, they never use protection because the exchanging of bodily fluids is part of the rush.

 

As a betrayed spouse you never get over the imbalance. She got a couple of years of porn star sex with someone else. Her only consequence was having you mad at her for a while and she countered that by giving you more sex. That tactic worked because your still there. The only problem with all that is you don't feel good about having been the outsider/third man in your own marriage. She put you in that position and hid the fact from you. Had you not caught her she would still be in her affair. Reconciliation is harder when you catch them because you still don't know where her loyalties lie. I had a hard time with the thought of my ex being tainted. Some of us just don't get over infidelity specially long term infidelity. Don't stay for the kids and don't compromise yourself. The truth is you don't feel committed to her because you now know that she was never really committed to you, if she was she would never have let another man near her. Treat her with the same respect she showed you.

 

You raise some pretty valid points. She does indeed feel tainted. I'm not sure if the sex part is worse than the emotional aspects. I still haven't fully digested what caused the most damage.

 

Maybe you're right. I feel pretty comfortable though now and don't look forward to throwing everything in chaos. This is really why I don't mind being there. It is such a weird imbalance but we still hang out, have sex and do things as a family. That has to sound incredibly weird. I don't even understand it myself.

 

We don't argue. I don't discuss my feelings with her because I feel it's pretty much worthless. To her she has probably felt like she's claimed victory over me. There's no way I'd be able to take it if she tried to make me miserable.

 

Never in a million years would I put up with the crap pre affair I did because of the untainted vision I had for her and the "loyalty" I thought she had given to me. You're absolutely right about that.

[mellywell]

So basically what you're saying is your screwing around is fine because she did it first, correct?

 

What kind of man do you want to be for your children?

[drifter777]

It is such a weird imbalance but we still hang out, have sex and do things as a family. That has to sound incredibly weird. I don't even understand it myself.

 

We don't argue. I don't discuss my feelings with her because I feel it's pretty much worthless. To her she has probably felt like she's claimed victory over me.

None of what you say here is at all weird. It describes me and my situation pretty accurately and from the hundred's of betrayed men who post here and on other sites I'd say you & I represent the majority of men who stay with their WW. I'm sure that, statistically, we represent couples who successfully reconciled after infidelity. I don't feel successful, do you?

 

I'm now in my 60's but you sound relatively young. My strong advise to you is to divorce her right f'ing now. You can continue to be a great father for your kids without living with their mother. I think you & WW deserve a shot at a fresh relationship without this infidelity burden dragging you down. Your kids will adjust quickly and you will be happy you did this in a few short months. Good luck.

[purplesorrow]

Do you consider your situation reconciliation?

[bigman1]

In my opinion, you are living a lie. You are comfortable enough with it, but in the end it is a lie.

 

She cheated and it was a deal breaker for you. Thing is, rather than just step up and say it, you rug swept and then embarked on your own little revenge. I am not clear if you are actually cheating with other women. It sounds like you flirt with married women until you find out they are married and you hang out with single women. Are you have extra marital sex?

 

Some times its easier to be in this passive aggressive sort of relationship because its comfortable enough. You have to realize that good relationships exist. You don't have one, so it is hard for you to imagine that they do exist.

 

You also said that you kind of put her on this pedestal. That is a telltale sign of problems. Maybe the reason you don't leave is because you don't want to face the public scrutiny and perceived negative opinions about you and your marriage.

 

Still, as they say, "to each his own". If this arrangement works for the both of you, great. If she is unaware of your actions (shich are still unclear) or your feelings, then you are living a lie and making her live one too. That is some sort of sick revenge. Still, I get it. I'm not a fan of R in the case of LTA's, but if you are gonna try to R, then go 100% or end it.

[HereNorThere]

She cheated on you, but it seems like her biggest violation, her biggest victory over you was turning you into someone that you don't even like yourself. You seem horribly depressed and drained.

 

You still have a chance at reclaiming your life, but that window is closing. Don't let her turn you into bitter old man just waiting to die.

 

It sounds to me like you're just being lazy. Not lazy like not wanting to walk the dog lazy, more like she's sucked every last bit of emotional energy left of out of you and now you don't even have enough left in the tank deal to deal with one more ounce of drama. How are you supposed to find the energy to file a divorce when it's hard to find the energy just to get of bed and face the truth of your reality?

 

It's time to get to real a therapist and figure out what work you have to do get away from her. Quit pretending this is a past event because the hell she's putting you through is very current. The cognitive dissonance of being married to someone you wouldn't have married in the first place has got to be just absolutely horrible. Quit living a lie and start getting better. You'll feel like a new person the moment you get these bricks off your chest.

[Joie]

It does sound like her cheating was a deal breaker for you. Cheating for some people is something they can never get past. You need to communicate with her. Let her know how you feel. It is not fair to either of you to live a half life.

[Lois_Griffin]

Cheating is a deal breaker for some people.

 

It was for you and you no longer look at her in the same light anymore. I get it.

 

But I think you stay mostly for self-serving reasons (obviously) and you've found a way to deal with living with someone you no longer respect.

 

The alternative is divorce and let's be honest - with a child custody agreement, that means you'd actually have to father your 3 young kids for days at a time, all on your own, without depending on your wife to do it all. You'd have to live in your own place and wipe your own ass, and why would you want to do that when you have a wife to do it all for you?

 

You'd have to split up your assets, pay child support and possibly alimony if your wife is a SAHM, and you'd have to fend for yourself in your own place instead of just coming home and having had someone else do it all for you.

 

Of course it's easier to stay right where you are and cheat constantly. Because it serves YOU.

 

Maybe you should suggest an open marriage to your wife so she can have the same fun you're having. While you think you're Mr. Stud in bed, she obviously must not agree with that or she wouldn't have cheated in the first place.

 

Just sayin'.

[CantMakeThisUp]

Of course I don't look at her in the same light. Who would look at their cheating spouse in the same light as they did when they first married?

 

I laughed at the porn start sex that I wasn't "giving". I don't know what kind of sex she was having but apparently ours was better for her to come slithering back in.

 

Regardless, I think she was only banging this other guy due to his ability to listen to her life's reels. That's about all he was good for and he was good at it.

 

It's amazing what women do when they're shown a little bit of attention their partners forget to give them .

 

I knew I was going to get dumped on in here. Rightfully so. I just felt like opening up on some things I've held in for awhile.

 

So if each of you was content with the situation, no arguing, sex and everything in-between, you'd abandon it to move forward with part time parenting?

 

I've made promises to my kids that I want to see through. My parents almost divorced when I was young and remember how difficult it was. I guess that has stuck with me on my decision making.

[wmacbride]

I'm a bs myself, and I understand how painful it can be.

 

That being said, why are you continuing to punish your wife? How much longer will you let this go on? How much are you going to allow this experience to poison you?

 

There are many stories of bs who have been terribly hurt and have tried to struggle through reconciliation. One of them had a story that was somewhat similar in some ways to yours

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/304233-revenge-affairs

 

you might find his story helpful to you.

[renaissancewoman]

Of course I don't look at her in the same light. Who would look at their cheating spouse in the same light as they did when they first married?

 

I laughed at the porn start sex that I wasn't "giving". I don't know what kind of sex she was having but apparently ours was better for her to come slithering back in.

 

Regardless, I think she was only banging this other guy due to his ability to listen to her life's reels. That's about all he was good for and he was good at it.

 

It's amazing what women do when they're shown a little bit of attention their partners forget to give them .

 

I knew I was going to get dumped on in here. Rightfully so. I just felt like opening up on some things I've held in for awhile.

 

So if each of you was content with the situation, no arguing, sex and everything in-between, you'd abandon it to move forward with part time parenting?

 

I've made promises to my kids that I want to see through. My parents almost divorced when I was young and remember how difficult it was. I guess that has stuck with me on my decision making.

 

What about the promises you made to your wife? Just because she broke her vows, it doesn't give you license to break yours too.

 

I think what most people are saying is that you in fact don't have a marriage. You say that things are fine, but they are not fine. You are existing together, you are not doing life together. No arguing is not a sign of a harmonious marriage. No arguing is a sign of apathy. You just don't care. I encourage you to really consider what you are looking for in a marriage and ask yourself if you can even achieve that here. If not, move one and give yourself and your wife the opportunity to find a real relationship and marriage.

[CantMakeThisUp]

To be honest, I don't really care about the promises I made to my wife. Those evaporated when I found out about her affair. I don't really care about those anymore.

 

How many of you reconciled "happy"? I'm sure most of you got to an accepting phase. I love my wife but hate her for what she did. It's a weird internal feeling but that's the best way to describe my feelings for her.

 

When I say love I don't even know if I'm "in love" with her. Maybe I just love that I'm used to her, I don't know.

 

There's definitely not a feeling of deep love between us. I get annoyed easy by her and I'm sure she senses that. I don't feel the same obligation I did pre affair to hear her bs or cater like I used to.

 

I'm not here to punish her either. She knows how I feel and she decided to stick it out. I told her I wasn't sure I'd be able to pull through but was willing to give it a shot.

 

We are at a state where I don't think it's bad in the sense that we aren't down each other's throats.

 

Like I said before, we still do things as a family and still do things together. Things haven't felt right for a long time now. I feel like I desensitized myself to it all and just became numb to it.

 

In all, this is probably bad. In some things it's made me a bitter person. What happened has distorted my views of marriage and how much of a joke it is in today's society.

 

Everybody wants to screw everybody else. If it ain't this marriage the chances on the next one will probably have a similar probability.

 

Anyways, some of you have raised valid points. I wouldn't mind proposing an open marriage to her. I'm not sure how she'd take it but I think it would be something to consider.

 

I wouldn't be thrilled though coming home to her getting plowed by some other guy m-f. Would at least have to set some ground rules to keep that in a hotel as well as I.

[elaine567]

I an not sure if opening up your marriage will rid you of "those many nights of anger, sadness and disgust."

Her previous betrayal of you will not go away no matter how much NSA sex you get.

and as you pointed out, can you really handle more guys in the middle of your relationship...

 

Why did she cheat in the first place, what reasons did she give you?

[CantMakeThisUp]

She claims this guy listened well. It's something many of us I'm sure forget to do which ends up causing separation between both parties.

 

This in my case contributed to the affair. She was obviously attracted to the guy so I'm sure she jumped at everything she could to find problems in our marriage to validate what she was doing.

 

When I found out I didn't tell her to stop what she was doing. In fact, I kind of egged her on to continue if that's what she wanted. She seemed to turn around though after I found out.

[Liam1]

It is bizarre how it affects each person and know that reconciliation isn't for all. I had to vent this all out and don't really have anybody to talk to about it.

 

We operate together pretty good and things have not been bad. I just don't feel any commitment towards her. Is this common for others who have felt similar types of betrayal?

 

IMO, more men than women have difficulty getting past a spouse's affair. I had an affair and my wife does not seem that bothered by it. She feels she had SOME responsibility in the breakdown of the marriage and we have an expert infidelity counselor who has helped a lot. So our marriage has improved immensely. Both of us faced our shortcomings and worked hard to stay together.

 

Also, if my wife needed to have a revenge affair to even the score. I would not really be bothered by that.

 

It amazes me how many women who are married or in some sort of committed relationship who don't hesitate to mess around.

 

I've tested the waters and most of you would probably be surprised how many are willing to go have a fling and continue their relationships.

Not only that, the woman are becoming pushier than ever about affairs. Even psychologists and infidelity counselors have commented on the fact that more woman than ever are seeking affairs.

 

The caveat, IMO, is that a large percentage of these woman may be unhappy in their marriage and are looking for a way out. So like my FOW, they may end up stalking you, when you break it off.

 

It seems as if your wife wanted to reconcile and was not looking to get out of the marriage based on her behaviors you describe. The affair ended, she is working hard on the marriage.

 

FYI: Some disturbing stats: An increasing number of Psychologists and infidelity experts are ethically bound to keep the secrets of their clients. Therefore they claim that some 80 percent of spouse are having affairs, according to the confessions they hear, yet some 50 percent of faithful spouses are totally clueless.

 

I have a friend who divorced his wife, immediately when he found out about her affair then he remarried and his second wife had an affair.

 

After that he told me he actually regretted sorely refusing to reconcile with his first wife, because in aggregate, except for the one affair, she was a far better wife and person in general than his second wife and he and his first wife had far more in common.

 

If you don't feel that way about your wife maybe something else is going on that is causing you to hold onto the hot coal of resentment.

 

Can you ask yourself specifically why you can not get past the affair? Can you address this in depth in counseling.

 

My point is you may be jumping out of the frying pan into a fire.

 

This is the 21st century and the world has changed.

 

 

 

 

A couple of years ago my wife had a long term affair. I caught her red handed but ultimately decided to stay. We have two kids and I had the option to stay or go. The plus side of this was she gave me sex on demand and whatever else I wanted (still does).

 

She's been pretty good the past couple of years in trying to win me back. I have clearly not gotten over her infidelity and have desensitized myself enough to go mess around myself and not care.

 

It amazes me how many women who are married or in some sort of committed relationship who don't hesitate to mess around. I've tested the waters and most of you would probably be surprised how many are willing to go have a fling and continue their relationships.

 

I'm noticing most seem to get bored of their relationships or feel something they haven't felt in a long time. It's all the same.

 

We have sex frequently and all still do things as a family. In my heart I know our time together will eventually come to an end. After I found out about her infidelity I knew she wasn't the one for me.

 

There have been many nights of anger, sadness and disgust. This has mostly faded away for the most part but still common for me to think about her and the other guy here and there. I still have some triggers at times.

 

It is bizarre how it affects each person and know that reconciliation isn't for all. I had to vent this all out and don't really have anybody to talk to about it.

 

We operate together pretty good and things have not been bad. I just don't feel any commitment towards her. Is this common for others who have felt similar types of betrayal?