ggekko Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 I recently discovered hundreds of emails between my husband and multiple women, about ten, discussing meet-up times and places for them to go on lunch dates to discuss a 'mutually beneficial relationship' as well as general intimate and explicitly sexual conversations. He was talking to women out-of-state, sex camming with them and talking about flying them in so they could spend time at a hotel together. He was also talking to women who live in town and telling them where and when to meet. He gave most of them his phone number. I confronted him with this but he insists it was all 'fantasy' and that he never actually met with any of them. Frankly even if he didn't meet with any of them, which seems unlikely given the context of these conversations, I'm very disturbed. He talked to one girl about flying her here so he could take her virginity but as far as he's concerned it's ok because it 'never happened', according to him anyway. I've more or less decided to leave, set up separate checking account, found apartment etc. I guess what I'm wondering is if I'm the only one who would consider this a deal breaker, because he says I'm being irrational. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Of course he says you're being "irrational" What an idiot. My husband did the same things and he was full of it too. They will always blameshift and make itnsound like it was your fault somehow and that they were "totally okay" to behave like dogs that must hump everything. The problem here isn't yours and you are wise to leave. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Google "mutually beneficial arrangement." Your husband has been attempting to start a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship. Basically, he is trying to find a woman to pay her to spend time with him and have sex with him on an ongoing basis. The fact that he is denying that he has done anything wrong is incredibly concerning. Due to his lack of remorse and deceit, I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by leaving. How could you possibly recover and trust him again? Your life would be miserable. Move forward without him. I'm sorry this happened to you. Be strong - you will get through this and find happiness once again <3 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 I'm so sorry that this has been done to you. I know the absolute 'insanity' & blinding shock of being blind-sided by my love. This is so very far past my line in so many ways. It's not an affair it's 'buying' another human being to do what he wants (the whole sugar daddy thing has been discussed plenty on this forum). We all have degrees of tolerable, one night stand, emotional affair, hooker, duration, intent etc. I couldn't work with this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 I confronted him with this but he insists it was all 'fantasy' and that he never actually met with any of them. Unless your husband is twelve years old, no adult puts that kind of effort into something without a payoff. Your thread probably shouldn't be titled "He may have slept with other women..?". Sorry you find yourself in this position, sounds like you're taking the first of many necessary steps... Mr. Lucky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 You are NOT being irrational. He's not a safe man to be with and I would say . despite me being pro marriage....He's of poor character in relation to fidelity. Whether or not he met them is not the point.....his intention IS the point and he had every intention. A married man taking someone's virginity is simply disgusting. His moral standards don't match up to yours. Keep the evidence. By the way what proof does he have they didn't meet up? You can hardly take his word as truth can you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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