Legal Question

[higgsboson]

I have been emailing the wife of my wife's AP for the past 8 months, basically saying anything I can to make her feel like crap. I have nothing against her but I'm trying to provoke a response in her [] husband. My hope is, he'll work up the nerve to come confront me and then I get to protect myself. So far, no luck. Today I sent her this email:

 

Hey _____,

 

Did you hear - my wife just got her nursing degree and a job starting at $50,000 per year! Isn't that great!

 

How about you? Are you still living in a basement? How does it feel to be married to a sex offender? Is that how your mom raised you?

 

Why doesn't your low-life sex offender piece of **** husband defend you? He knows where to find me.

 

Are you really that much of a >expletive deleted by moderation<?

 

Have a blessed day!

I'm just curious, is it legal to email her like this? She has never told me not to email her so I think I'm good. Edited February 3, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language~T

[GorillaTheater]

Gotta tell you man, I'm absolutely appalled that you would send such filth to this poor woman.

[minimariah]

she can use it as proof of harrassment if she decides to take you to the court, yes. be careful what you wish for, you might just get it!

[higgsboson]

Gotta tell you man, I'm absolutely appalled that you would send such filth to this poor woman.

 

I get that but I really want to lay hands on this man - I think it would help me. I'm appalled that her POS husband LETS ME send her such filth and doesn't try and protect her. He certainly knows where I live! Its where he was ****ing my wife.

[Mrs. John Adams]

perhaps she doesn't show him the emails

 

poor woman....she does not deserve to be treated this disrepectfully

 

your beef is with him not her

 

if you want to have a confrontation with him...then do so...and leave her out of it.

 

just terrible

[d0nnivain]

You are the aggressor in this situation. All you are doing is getting yourself in trouble. Grow up & get meaningful anger management counseling.

[BlueIris]

I get that but I really want to lay hands on this man - I think it would help me. I'm appalled that her POS husband LETS ME send her such filth and doesn't try and protect her. He certainly knows where I live! Its where he was ****ing my wife.

 

So you abuse someone because you hate her husband? That's deeply messed up.

[BuddyX]

Get yourself some counseling and hit the gym. Let out your anger in the proper way.

If he's POS what does that make your wife?

Focus on your marriage. Obviously the marriage was flawed since your wife strayed. Maybe it had something to do with your anger???

And yes, I would use that letter as harassment.

Focus on you first.

[higgsboson]

she can use it as proof of harrassment if she decides to take you to the court, yes. be careful what you wish for, you might just get it!

 

Hi Minimariah, can I ask a followup question?

 

I thought she had to tell me to stop emailing her before it's harassment?

 

Also, I only email her once a week at most and I never threaten.

[pondhawk]

Oh my!

Look, I know you're terribly hurt, but this woman does not control her POS husband's actions, nor is she responsible for anything he does! The AP's spouse is not the enemy.

 

I don't know the background of your story, but why is this anger not aimed towards your wife? Is the affair over? Are you in reconciliation? Therapy?

 

I'm sorry you are going through this, but your energy must be redirected.

 

BTW, I'm sure your email has been marked as spam a long time ago. And if not then yes, that is harassment. Not good.

 

Please get individual counseling and couples counseling.

[higgsboson]

I appreciate all the indignant outrage and sympathy for this poor wife of a serial cheater and felon sex offender but its a fair question:

 

If she hasn't told me to stop emailing her, can it be considered harassment?

 

BTW - why isn't her husband coming to her defense? Why isn't he at my door with blood in his eyes defending her honor? Maybe she has marked my emails as spam - good point pondhawk! What I need to do is start emailing her from a different account!

[SaveYourHeart]

Depending on your local laws, you can be charged with harassment and/or stalking. She does not need to tell you to stop beforehand. Honestly, putting anything in writing is a huge no-no. It never goes away and can be used against you not only now, but in the future. I know you're angry, but don't be stupid.

[BlueIris]

If you're so tough, why aren't you emailing him? Why aren't you walking over to him and telling him off?

[SaveYourHeart]

It's not about her telling you to stop, it is your intention to annoy, alarm, torment or embarrass your victim. Intent will get you a misdemeanor that will follow you forever.

[jen1447]

Ppl mistakenly think that criminal charges are brought by individuals by way of them making complaints. In reality all crimes are actually crimes against the state, which may or may not have specific victims, and the state brings charges, not individuals. (This is different from civil law.)

 

So what you've actually been doing here is committing a crime - some level of criminal harassment - providing documentation of and evidence for the crime, and identifying yourself as the perpetrator. That information, in the hands of any prosecuting attorney, would be enough for you to be charged regardless if any complaint had been made by the BS or not.

 

So bscly at this point you need to hope against hope that the authorities never find out, bc your case would be a slam dunk. Which of course means your fate rests in the hands of the woman you've been harassing, and/or anyone else who ever comes across the information. Funny.

 

I'd say it's time to switch to flowers and apology cards.

[d0nnivain]

If she hasn't told me to stop emailing her, can it be considered harassment?

 

BTW - why isn't her husband coming to her defense? Why isn't he at my door with blood in his eyes defending her honor? Maybe she has marked my emails as spam - good point pondhawk! What I need to do is start emailing her from a different account!

 

yes. The standard is whether the conduct or communication is unwelcome and/or designed to elicit a response. The recipient is under no obligation to ask you to stop.

 

Her husband is not at your door because he is smarter & more mature then you are. He knows you are baiting him, trying to provoke him into a fight.

 

In all likelihood your emails go into her spam folder & she deletes them unread. the same will happen if you change accounts.

 

Look your wife cheated. So do something about that. Get counseling. Get divorced. Yell at her. But seriously leave this other family alone. This woman you are e-mailing is as much a victim as you are. Attacking her makes her doubly hurt; first her husband cheats then the lunatic spouse of her husband's lover sends her all this vile filth. Where is your sense of compassion for her? What did she ever do to you that justifies you continuing to attack her?

 

You need to look deep into your own soul to figure out when you lost your mind & your humanity.

[sweet_pea]

You really should be ashamed of yourself for sending her something so vile and cruel. She didn't do anything to you- her husband did. If you want him to come at you, then you should be emailing HIM, not her. You need to direct all of your anger to him. It's interesting that you don't do that though… you take it out on his wife.

[William]

As it seems the OP's original question has been answered, we'll close this one up. Thanks everyone for your replies. ~T