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Ex OM approached me infront of my teenager.


Whoknew30

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If you read my back story...it's been 6 years since I've seen OM & ran into him for a moment & that was it. I figured I'd never see him again (I live in a city) well I was wrong. Out of nowhere the other day, I was out & about with my teen & saw him walking, he b-lined right to me & my child. I was absolutely flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say (which has NEVER happened) he started to speak to my teenager! My teen thought he was a bit odd (his job makes it to where he can do this & it doesn't seem that weird) & too talkative.

 

Now I don't know what to do, no clue why he did that. I want to tell my H but I'm scared. I have no desire to have anything to do with him (if I did, I would tell my H) & my H has a bad temper & will not think through what he will do, which really scares me due to the ExOM's job.

 

I don't want any problems this many years later & I really just don't know what he's thinking. I did send him a email that stated, what the hell is wrong with you & to leave me alone. He read it & has not responded (I unblocked him just to send). If it wasn't for his job is tell my H in a heartbeat but if he finds out that he was talking to our child, he's gonna explode!

 

Don't know what to do...I honestly thought he was gone for good. When I did see him over the holidays, I gave absolutely not one sign I wanted this again. I'm just in shock.

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Mrs. John Adams

I think you have to tell him...and the great thing is...your child is your witness and can verify exactly what happened...so he may not even ask about it.

 

My fear would be...if you don't tell...and it comes out later...he could take it wrong....and think you were trying to cover it up.

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So you saw the OM at Christmas and just a few days ago.

 

 

Why do you go any where the OM can be, that just shows making poor choices.

 

 

I think that you need to tell your BH and to get an RO against the OM at the minimum. Though I see this as only short term fix.

 

 

Best long term solution is to move far away from the OM.

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tell husband. stop protecting people from their feelings. how husband handles this is on him.

I really don't understand why you don't think this guy is a creep and why you even engage.

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So you saw the OM at Christmas and just a few days ago.

 

 

Why do you go any where the OM can be, that just shows making poor choices.

 

 

I think that you need to tell your BH and to get an RO against the OM at the minimum. Though I see this as only short term fix.

 

 

Best long term solution is to move far away from the OM.

 

 

I was walking down the street in a city, I hadn't seen him in going on 7 years, to see him twice in two months is never something I thought would happen bc honestly, I don't think about him.

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tell husband. stop protecting people from their feelings. how husband handles this is on him.

I really don't understand why you don't think this guy is a creep and why you even engage.

 

I didn't engage this time, I just stood there stunned. It's almost like he didn't know why he did, it was just so very akward.

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I think you have to tell him...and the great thing is...your child is your witness and can verify exactly what happened...so he may not even ask about it.

 

My fear would be...if you don't tell...and it comes out later...he could take it wrong....and think you were trying to cover it up.

 

I know, I hate fear. That's why I stopped this in the first place. I just want him to go away, I thought he did! Why on earth after all this time is he doing this, I don't know.

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Mrs. John Adams

Well...maybe this will be the end gate of it....I hope so for your sake.

 

I think you should also tell your husband you sent him an email. Just be honest about all of it.

 

Maybe this guy needs a good scare....I have to say...that was pretty gutsy of him...I cannot even begin to understand what the hell he was thinking.

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You must absolutely tell your H immediately. yOu must also tell him you unblocked your xOM to ask him what the hell is wrong with him.....

 

You should have discussed this action with your H before you did it as there will likely be hell to pay for it.

 

Why did you NOT tell your H or ask him how you two should handle it?????

 

 

What did your son ask you about this odd situation? Who did you say this man was to you?

 

Why didn't you share this scenario with your H immediately?

 

You are still avoiding conflict and THAT enrages fBS s more than anything.

 

Lady, this will not be pleasant for you but you must disclose immediately.

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Well...maybe this will be the end gate of it....I hope so for your sake.

 

I think you should also tell your husband you sent him an email. Just be honest about all of it.

 

Maybe this guy needs a good scare....I have to say...that was pretty gutsy of him...I cannot even begin to understand what the hell he was thinking.

 

Right? It's way out of line & weird...isn't it? He knows my H knows who he is & hates him. I guess (not agreeing with) if he approached me alone & I turned him down but what hell did he think he was doing coming up on me & my teenager? I don't get it Mrs J. He knows my H would tell on him in a heart beat & he's also married. I'm just down founded.

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Is he with the Police ?

Would his job hurt if he was reported for this ?

 

Is a restraining order from contact with you or your kids (especially mentioned your kids) be possible ?

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You must absolutely tell your H immediately. yOu must also tell him you unblocked your xOM to ask him what the hell is wrong with him.....

 

You should have discussed this action with your H before you did it as there will likely be hell to pay for it.

 

Why did you NOT tell your H or ask him how you two should handle it?????

 

 

What did your son ask you about this odd situation? Who did you say this man was to you?

 

Why didn't you share this scenario with your H immediately?

 

You are still avoiding conflict and THAT enrages fBS s more than anything.

 

Lady, this will not be pleasant for you but you must disclose immediately.

 

 

I didn't tell him bc I feel, I don't want this man, I've always fought my own battles & since I brought this idiot into my life, I should be capable of getting rid of him. Like I said, if I wanted him, I'd tell my H ASAP but now I just want him gone!

 

My kid said he was nice but weird & talked way too much.

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Is he with the Police ?

Would his job hurt if he was reported for this ?

 

Is a restraining order from contact with you or your kids (especially mentioned your kids) be possible ?

 

He's in law, a bit higher than a police officer. I doubt he'd get into trouble bc he knows everyone in law, from what I remember. He's extremely likeable & everyone thinks he's perfect & loves him (where he works).

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dreamingoftigers
You must absolutely tell your H immediately. yOu must also tell him you unblocked your xOM to ask him what the hell is wrong with him.....

 

You should have discussed this action with your H before you did it as there will likely be hell to pay for it.

 

Why did you NOT tell your H or ask him how you two should handle it?????

 

 

What did your son ask you about this odd situation? Who did you say this man was to you?

 

Why didn't you share this scenario with your H immediately?

 

You are still avoiding conflict and THAT enrages fBS s more than anything.

 

Lady, this will not be pleasant for you but you must disclose immediately.

 

Hey Spark, you always give the best, most sensible advice.

 

WhoKnew, it's time to tell H.

 

Is he really beyond "crazy" with his temper?

Because that's not good either.

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Mrs. John Adams
Right? It's way out of line & weird...isn't it? He knows my H knows who he is & hates him. I guess (not agreeing with) if he approached me alone & I turned him down but what hell did he think he was doing coming up on me & my teenager? I don't get it Mrs J. He knows my H would tell on him in a heart beat & he's also married. I'm just down founded.

 

I tell you what sweetheart....maybe his missus needs to be told he approached you....and maybe your husband is just the one to tell.

 

You have come so far....and through so many troubles....don't let this guy mess that up.

 

I am really sorry this happened....

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Hey Spark, you always give the best, most sensible advice.

 

WhoKnew, it's time to tell H.

 

Is he really beyond "crazy" with his temper?

Because that's not good either.

 

He's never been that way with me or the kids but to another man, yes. He isn't going to want to talk to him, he's going to want to beat him up. He's not the type to think about it, he'll just do it & as much as I can talk to him, I know how he is...this will infuriate him.

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I tell you what sweetheart....maybe his missus needs to be told he approached you....and maybe your husband is just the one to tell.

 

You have come so far....and through so many troubles....don't let this guy mess that up.

 

I am really sorry this happened....

 

That's what is pissing me off. All the crap my H & I have been through, my H & are happy (not perfect, we argue) & I feel like if I tell him what he did, it's going to take away my H happiness right now. My teen has a big birthday this week & the last thing I want is this guy taking that away from not just my H, us. I'm going to tell but it's going to be after my kid's birthday.

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OMG are you serious? I think you're being a total drama queen.

 

Just forget it ever happened!!!

 

Plus your email should be enough.

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Your fAP spoke to your child. You share this child with your husband. He deserves to know. You're trying to circumvent and control and actually anticipate his reaction which is his deal. Think about that. Would you want him to make these decisions for you?

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Your fAP spoke to your child. You share this child with your husband. He deserves to know. You're trying to circumvent and control and actually anticipate his reaction which is his deal. Think about that. Would you want him to make these decisions for you?

 

I would trust my H to take care of it, if it was the other way around. I wouldn't want to know, if he had no intentions with his ExOW, I'd say deal with it. Though that's me. I plan on telling him, I just can't this week. Not with everything we have planned. He'll focus all attention on OM & H & my kid don't deserve that this week. I'm just so pissed off, I would like to hit him myself! I won't but I want to. I don't even understand this.

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OMG are you serious? I think you're being a total drama queen.

 

Just forget it ever happened!!!

 

Plus your email should be enough.

 

Do you have kids? & if you do, are they teens? IMO, kids should always be left alone. I hope the email is enough but it's NEVER ok to approach someone's kid...never.

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Do you have kids? & if you do, are they teens? IMO, kids should always be left alone. I hope the email is enough but it's NEVER ok to approach someone's kid...never.

 

I do have teenagers and I agree that the kids should never be brought into it, but he probably was just being an overly friendly doofus. I would put him and the whole thing behind me. The best response (emotionally) is to be unfazed by this man and get on with your life.

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