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Scorpiolover

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Scorpiolover

I guess this question can be for the guys. Why would a man use sexual enhancement pills but not have sex? He's used 5 this month and we have had sex once and it was less than steller. Then he says without me even saying anything, "you know its not fair to me and you that you arent so sensitive down there. I took it as a "i dont like to work to hard to please you". I do have thise isdues but if i am turned on there is no problem. I have tried every night/day for the last month to get him in the mood. I even offered a BJ, he turned me down even when i told him he didnt have to reciprocate. He's got no less or more stress than normal. I dont get it. Then i find the pills...im at a loss as to what i am doing wrong.

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TheOneYouHate

I wouldn't think he would take enhancement pills unless he was wanting to have sex and if he is turning sex with you, I would be thinking he was getting it somewhere else.

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I can tell you no man in planet earth takes those pills without having sex.

 

No guy ever wants to walk around with an erection for 4 hours on purpose.

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Assuming we are talking cialis or Viagra or the like - those things are crazy expensive. No man takes them without "using" them. Hell I know a guy who will take one and tell his wife and she will have sex with him on the pure principle of not wanting to waste money. No joke.

 

So - have you considered he has someone else?

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Scorpiolover

Thats what i thought too. Im just trying to see more patterns, if i hadnt seen those pills i would have just thought he didnt want me anymore.. now i think its that and he has a replacement. :(

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Scorpiolover
What if he is slipping them to you in hopes of spicing up your sex life, lol.

 

If we were having sex, then that would be a possibility. I would ask him about it, but he gets mad when i ask him why he quickly puts his phone away too. And that time i was wrong, he was talkig to his boss..i hope

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Scorpiolover
Assuming we are talking cialis or Viagra or the like - those things are crazy expensive. No man takes them without "using" them. Hell I know a guy who will take one and tell his wife and she will have sex with him on the pure principle of not wanting to waste money. No joke.

 

So - have you considered he has someone else?

 

He is taking Impactra Gold single capsule packets he gets from a gas station.

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He is taking Impactra Gold single capsule packets he gets from a gas station.

 

That's completely different from Rx-only medication for erectile dysfunction. Over the counter herbal supplements are much much cheaper, do not cause unwanted erections, and can have beneficial effects other than just sexual performance improvements. In other words, the fact that your husband is taking these pills without having sex with you does not point as strongly in the infidelity direction as it would if he was taking Viagra.

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It's entirely possible that he might have low testosterone and is in denial and extremely insecure about it. He's trying anything to get the feeling of being a man sick, which includes sexual desire and the feeling of strength that comes with a lot of testosterone.

 

 

Just a theory.

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TrustedthenBusted

not only is he up to something, but on some level he wants you to know it. Nobody leaves their empty boner pill packets laying around unless they want someone to find them.

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Scorpiolover

Im hoping its as innocent as having a testosterone issue, although i am a very understanding wife, i dont like conflict, i try to work all issues out. I have asked him about that after a commercial we seen for low testosterone. He says no, he was just stressed, but that was like 3 years ago. Other that the last 3 ****ty months he usually has stamina, no problem getting it up.

 

I just wish i could ask him about it without him going off and instantly making feel stupid for even considering it.

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Impactra Gold is a farce. He may have taken it a few times in hopes of getting hard so he could initiate sex with you. Imagine his disappointment when his "hard-on cure" didn't work - that can't help his confidence. Tell him you found the pills and did some research and no where can you find any independent documentation that they work. Then tell him you're happy he is trying something to get it up and that he should get a prescription for something that is medically proven to be safe and effective. If he does it he'll have no problem getting it up. That will likely fix his confidence to some extent. If his libido is still low you could suggest that he get his testosterone checked. It's much easier for a man to accept a suggestion like this in the context of his sexual drive rather than a limp dick.

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My previous response is totally invalid. A herbal supplement for male enhancement is not even close to prescription boner pills.

 

There is no way he is getting any effect from them so I would guess he's just having some issues and is willing to try some different methods. Probably doesn't like when you bring it up because it's embarrassing if he's having some erection issues.

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Scorpiolover

You guys are giving me hope!! Thank you!!

I am going to figure out a way to approach the subject without accusing, acting betrayed, or belittling. Hopefully he will accept that i know and that i love him regardless and really appreciate that he is trying.

 

Thank you all again!!

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I guess this question can be for the guys. Why would a man use sexual enhancement pills but not have sex? He's used 5 this month and we have had sex once and it was less than steller. Then he says without me even saying anything, "you know its not fair to me and you that you arent so sensitive down there. I took it as a "i dont like to work to hard to please you". I do have thise isdues but if i am turned on there is no problem. I have tried every night/day for the last month to get him in the mood. I even offered a BJ, he turned me down even when i told him he didnt have to reciprocate. He's got no less or more stress than normal. I dont get it. Then i find the pills...im at a loss as to what i am doing wrong.

Dear Scorpiolover:

I've been following this and your original thread.

I think it's wonderful that you have such a desire to communicate - that's awesome. Don't ever lose that trait.

try to get your husband to do the same. It takes a lot of assurance.

Failure of performance is quite an issue for men. What once was so easily achievable in our 20's and 30's is diminished in our 40's and 50's. I've read of a lot of cases for men in their 20's and 30's... I was shocked. It's so sad that they aren't able to talk about it.

Men do a lot of different things to compensate. There's an unbelievable percentage who never communicate about it - it's just too delicate an issue for them.

First things first, it's going to take a lot of tender persuasion for you to get him to open up - he's definitely holding back. You will know best how to pursue this.

Do what you can to debunk the affair issue - assure him of your willingness to forgive - provided you're able. That will be a load off your mind.

Don't be too accommodating - it keeps him in too much control. Makes him feel comfortable not communicating, possibly hiding his fears - insecurity issues. Remember, men wouldn't have a need for their ego if the woman wasn't there to take care of it. So, lots of assurance - I detect that won't be a problem for you.

Be strong - I hope you're able to find the answers you need.

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Scorpiolover

Well i was able to obtain his phone and he seems to be on craigslist alot. Craigslist allows you to clear your search history, so i didnt see anything. But... i did go into the personals and look at posts. I seen a bunch of numbers so i looked up our cell history, he seems to be calling/texting or recieving calls/texts from some similar numbers. I checked his phone log and none of the numbers were on his phone from the cell history. I also noticed that as of this month hes only talking or texting me, my kids, and his boss. So that to me is fishy. Where did the pages of numbers go from the previous months... the mystery keeps getting better.

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The "enhancement" pills (fake) didnt work . He may be searching again. You can get anything on CL, including prescription drugs that do work. If he has a problem talking to you, he may have a problem talking to a docter. He may be desperately trying to find something that works.

 

I find it hard to believe someone would start a affair, knowing that the primary objective is difficult to obtain. He is ego would take a hard pounding (no pun intended) if he "failed" with his cheater chick.

 

Your odds are 50/50 on the affair, but it might tilt to 0, if his problem is real.

 

Lets assume that ED is the problem. He is not confiding in you. Why? Is he afraid to fail in front of you? Afraid to look weak? That's a big problem thats on you. He may be really afraid and is searching in all the wrong places. Dont take him to MC, take him to your doctor.

 

Of course, if he is cheating, pay no attention to anything I just wrote.

Edited by 66Charger
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Scorpiolover
Possibly prostitutes.

 

I have thought that too. We do live in a town that has a problem with them. Im wondering if the lack of numbers is maybe he does have a burn phone. I just dont know anymore. The VAR came today so i am going to set it up tonight after he goes to bed.

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Scorpiolover
The "enhancement" pills (fake) didnt work . He may be searching again. You can get anything on CL, including prescription drugs that do work. If he has a problem talking to you, he may have a problem talking to a docter. He may be desperately trying to find something that works.

 

I find it hard to believe someone would start a affair, knowing that the primary objective is difficult to obtain. He is ego would take a hard pounding (no pun intended) if he "failed" with his cheater chick.

 

Your odds are 50/50 on the affair, but it might tilt to 0, if his problem is real.

 

Lets assume that ED is the problem. He is not confiding in you. Why? Is he afraid to fail in front of you? Afraid to look weak? That's a big problem thats on you. He may be really afraid and is searching in all the wrong places. Dont take him to MC, take him to your doctor.

 

Of course, if he is cheating, pay no attention to anything I just wrote.

 

I thought that too, but when we do get to get it on, he has no problem getting hard and holding an erection when i am giving him oral for 20 minutes straight. It just seems to be me. Grrrr.

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Perhaps I should retract what I wrote. Thats not good. Unless, he is already taking real medicine. Regardless, use the VAR, but talk to him also. At this point, the advice has been given and the truth will come.

 

Anyway a honest prayer that you are wrong Scorpio

Edited by 66Charger
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"I even offered a blowjob" sounds like you're part to blame here too. If giving him oral is that rare and deemed a task for you then I'm sure he's feeling unfulfilled as well. A pity bj isn't what a guy wants.

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Scorpiolover
"I even offered a blowjob" sounds like you're part to blame here too. If giving him oral is that rare and deemed a task for you then I'm sure he's feeling unfulfilled as well. A pity bj isn't what a guy wants.

 

Its a pity you dont know whats really going on. I always offer him a BJ. I like doing them, not rare in my house to have them offered, hex just not allowing me. Hell just last night when he was sleeping i tried and thats something he loves to wake up to he has told me when i did it in the past. He said no he was tired and said thank you anyway. He has pulled away from me. Bothing i have done. I am wracking my brain to fix this mess, i need advice not someone who sees one sentence and starts degrading when you obviously did not read the whole story.

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