is my Dad cheating?

[mtimz2]

Ok-

So last night I broke my cell phone and needed a new one, and my Dad offered to give me his because he just got a new one. I took his phone and it turns out that he left all of his data on there. There weren't really any text messages or phone calls to be concerned about, but his Facebook was left open and so I clicked on that out of curiosity. It turns out he was private messaging about 4-5 other women. They were all pretty short messages, but I was a little concerned.

 

My Dad was working in another State and would travel back and forth there every 2 weeks, and on one of the messages, it was very brief and there was no flirting between the two, but my Dad told her to meet him at his Hotel at 5:00 and he would text her if they couldn't find each other. On another message, he said he was potentially going to be working in a new State for work to someone different and maybe they could meet for lunch sometime, and she replied yes. On another one with a different woman, they were talking about good to see you last time you were in town for work and from there they exchanged e-mail addresses so they could talk on there.

 

There were a couple of other messages with women, but I think they were genuinely about work because I knew who they were. I did not know these women.

 

I was confused and this was the only evidence I had, and I almost thought I was looking too much into it, because why would my Dad just give me his phone like that knowing that this was on here? So, later that night about an hour after I came home from the cell phone store, my Dad asked me if the store had erased all of the data on the phone? I told him No, and that I would do it tomorrow. My Mom was there too and he basically confiscated the phone when I asked him for the battery charger and he said he was going to erase the data for me. I told him I would do it tomorrow and my Mom kept asking him why he felt the need to do it, especially since I didn't ask. He just replied it will take about 10 minutes and he was deleting his contacts.

 

When he gave the phone back, the contacts were still on there and I told him that, to which point he took the phone back and deleted the contacts. I noticed he deleted his facebook app, his gmail app, and a couple of other random apps that I'm not sure about. I then asked him if he was doing this to just erase the contacts and he said yes. He then gave the phone back.

 

Now, I am very confused obviously and am wondering if I am just looking too much into this or if you think he might be cheating? Any and all opinions much appreciated! Thanks!

[I_Give_Up67]

Hi, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

 

Before letting this haunt and get you stressed out, would you feel comfortable asking him in private about what you saw? There could be an innocent explanation for what you saw. Just ask him. He is your father. Letting this sit on your mind and wondering about it could start to affect your relationship with him.

[No Limit]

Yep, he's cheating. Talk to him and question him about what you saw and see what explanation he comes up with.

[Mal78]

I'm assuming since you live at home and you are still getting you cell phone from your Dad you are in your teens.

 

You have two choices:

 

1) confront your Dad. Tell him what you found and particularly mention the message to the women to meet him at his hotel. Be prepared that he will have a very good explanation for that message and assuming you never saved/screen shot the evidence you might have found he also might deny.

 

You seem like a very smart girl, it sounds like you gut is telling based on what you found this might be the case.

 

2) Talk to your Mom, let her know your concerns. She is the adult she can investigate further if she feels the need. At least if she knows, as your Mother she could help you through your concerns.

 

I'm sorry that this is weighing on your heart but this is NOT your burden to bare, especially alone.

 

(((HUGS)))

[flowergirl14]

Yes he is cheating. Unfortunately even if you ask him or your mother asks he will deny deny deny and lie lie lie. I would suggest getting proof before confrontation.

[Noirek]

It really doesn't sound good. I wouldn't ask him though as that will just give him a heads up to cover his butt. That's all the advice I'm going to give because you shouldn't be dealing with this. Ijust wanted to warn you that confrontation without proof can lead to lies, gaslighting and then covered tracks. The affairs will be taken more underground.

[Steen719]

OP, do you have someone - an adult - you can talk to about this? My thoughts are if your mom has a sister that you could talk to about this, they can follow through and you can be out of the situation. It's a bad place for you to be for a variety of reasons. If you don't have a relative, maybe a really good friend of your mom would be a choice for you. Good luck.

[LifelongCheater]

99.99% chance he's cheating. I left .01% open because I'm an optimist.

[Breezee]

99.99% chance he's cheating. I left .01% open because I'm an optimist.

 

Yes ^^^

 

Although you don't have concrete proof (pics or actually seeing, hearing them together, etc.) his reaction when he found out that nothing was deleted is HIGHLY suspicious. He will definitely lie if confronted especially by his own child. Better to tell your mom or another TRUSTED adult who can further look into it.

[pteromom]

Tell your mom exactly what you found, and let her deal with it. Confronting him isn't your responsibility.

 

And know that if there is a negative outcome after you tell her - it is NOT your fault. Telling her is the right thing to do.