Antherox Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 lets keep things nice and shorty. I met this girl two years ago and we have a wonderful relationship, the chemistry is good, the sex is good, i know her parents and she knows mine. I engaged her this chritsmas. We moved to a new apartment where we will live happy ever after. Wait! Why i just said? No wayNo matter how happy we are life will always screw us one way or another. Problem is it seems she had a affair with a workmate. She denied the affair but come on i am a really smart man i should have been detective. We had a very serious talk and we agreed to never bring the topic again. Infidelity is not a really concern for me because the infidelity rate is high where i live. So i am just a member of the vast majority army of betrayed men. Life goes on, we still enjoying great time togheter, the chemistry is good, and we happy. I am not in a religion that forbids adultery. So my question is: is it possible to have a happy ending after a infidelity occurs? Any of you have continued to live with a cheating partner and have a normal life? Thanks. Please before you reply take as a fact that the infidelity happened( i am not estupid, come on) Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 lets keep things nice and shorty. I met this girl two years ago and we have a wonderful relationship, the chemistry is good, the sex is good, i know her parents and she knows mine. I engaged her this chritsmas. We moved to a new apartment where we will live happy ever after. Wait! Why i just said? No wayNo matter how happy we are life will always screw us one way or another. Problem is it seems she had a affair with a workmate. She denied the affair but come on i am a really smart man i should have been detective. We had a very serious talk and we agreed to never bring the topic again. Infidelity is not a really concern for me because the infidelity rate is high where i live. So i am just a member of the vast majority army of betrayed men. Life goes on, we still enjoying great time togheter, the chemistry is good, and we happy. I am not in a religion that forbids adultery. So my question is: is it possible to have a happy ending after a infidelity occurs? Any of you have continued to live with a cheating partner and have a normal life? Thanks. Please before you reply take as a fact that the infidelity happened( i am not estupid, come on) If you can live with the fact that she's had sex with another man, so be it. I can actually see it being a forgivable offense (assuming my spouse were truly remorseful). What gets me is the lying. She's kept this from you and I gather that she is still denying it. And you've agreed to never bring it up again. So, your partner in life appears to have no problem lying straight to your face and is still actively doing it. Is that the kind of partner you want? You can sweep the affair under the rug if you like but the lying is still happening today. Beyond that, I'd also think the lying indicates that she's not truly remorseful (in which case I'm not too interested in forgiveness either). Still, it's your call. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 So my question is: is it possible to have a happy ending after a infidelity occurs? There are reasonable people here and most will say you should pursue your own form of happiness. So if infidelity falls within your moral compass and doesn't conflict with your value system, then a happy ending is possible. Many will also add that it wouldn't work that way for them... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I'm a little concerned at this "i know she cheated because I'm not stupid". But she still denies it. So either she thinks your stupid or... She really didn't cheat and you are going to enter marriage with this over your heads. Tell us exactly how you know she cheated. Trust me the majority will support you based only on your gut so if you give some huge res flags they will not tell you she didn't cheat. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Antherox Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 I'm a little concerned at this "i know she cheated because I'm not stupid". But she still denies it. So either she thinks your stupid or... She really didn't cheat and you are going to enter marriage with this over your heads. Tell us exactly how you know she cheated. Trust me the majority will support you based only on your gut so if you give some huge res flags they will not tell you she didn't cheat. Here we go: I checked whatsapp on her cellphone. Apparently she bought a christmas present to her workmate. It was a technology gadget( maybe a tablet,cellphone, etc) for a value of 114 or 115 dollars( a huge amount for her and more expensive than my christmas present was). I didnt have the time to dig deeper because she came back for her cellphone. Eventually i brought the topic at dinner and she denied the affair even when i tell her i was ok with that. The next day i resumed the search in her cellphone to confirm my worries and found out that she deleted this guy from whatsapp and facebook with all the messages so i could not dig deeper into this. I say that everything in this life have a price. I found a woman who is not interested in money and never asked for it, that can cook good, good in bed, keep me in company but with a terrible price. Life is just like that. Other than that we have a good relationship, we keep company eachother, we share the house chores, sex is good, we keep arguments low and resolve them with maturity, we never yell or get angry , we help each other and give us mutual support. Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Problem is it seems she had a affair with a workmate. She denied the affair but come on i am a really smart man i should have been detective. We had a very serious talk and we agreed to never bring the topic again. Infidelity is not a really concern for me because the infidelity rate is high where i live. Now that you have rug swept the affair, and made it clear that "Infidelity is not a really concern for" you, she will cheat again. A Cuckold is born. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 what ab out your health? You okay if she gives you stds? If she opened the marriage, then tell her you understand that it is an open relationship and you will need to open your side as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Why do you value yourself so little? I suggest that you get tested for STD's. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mal78 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 It's just the act (although, that could be a risk or continual risk to you if you are passive about her infidelities), it's the lies and denials. If you are ok with her having sex with other men and you both agree to an open relationship.... GREAT! However, open relationship are successful only under trust, openness, truth and communication (if there is success at all). This would include transparency in partners and the full respect and understanding that "safe sex" is of the utmost importance. If your GF in fact cheated, then you have bigger fish to fry. Open relationship would now be near impossible. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Here we go: I checked whatsapp on her cellphone. Apparently she bought a christmas present to her workmate. It was a technology gadget( maybe a tablet,cellphone, etc) for a value of 114 or 115 dollars( a huge amount for her and more expensive than my christmas present was). I didnt have the time to dig deeper because she came back for her cellphone. Eventually i brought the topic at dinner and she denied the affair even when i tell her i was ok with that. The next day i resumed the search in her cellphone to confirm my worries and found out that she deleted this guy from whatsapp and facebook with all the messages so i could not dig deeper into this. I say that everything in this life have a price. I found a woman who is not interested in money and never asked for it, that can cook good, good in bed, keep me in company but with a terrible price. Life is just like that. Other than that we have a good relationship, we keep company eachother, we share the house chores, sex is good, we keep arguments low and resolve them with maturity, we never yell or get angry , we help each other and give us mutual support. Is there a chance she bought the gift because her workmate was in need and couldn't afford it? Maybe it was an act of charity and friendship and she didn't tell you because she didn't think you'd believe her. Is it possible this was a group gift everyone at her work chipped in to buy and your fiancee was the one who did the actual purchase? Or she cheated. But if you are ok with it, I don't understand why she wouldn't just admit it to you. Is she afraid you will leave her if she is honest? Is she afraid you will love her less? Is she afraid you'd hurt her? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 The big problem with a cheating wife/gf is that she will most probably do it again. You need to investigate why she needed to cheat, in order to protect yourself from hurt. If she cheated because she is unhappy with your relationship, then you have a big problem. Even if you are going to view the fact she cheated as no big deal, if she is unhappy, she will be looking to swap you in, for a better model at some point. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Antherox Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Now that you have rug swept the affair, and made it clear that "Infidelity is not a really concern for" you, she will cheat again. A Cuckold is born. I satisfy her well. She cum a lot. I go to gymn frequently and we fu.. Like rabbits. Do i still being a cuckhold? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I satisfy her well. She cum a lot. I go to gymn frequently and we fu.. Like rabbits. Do i still being a cuckhold? Cuckhold n. the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 This is how I would deal with infidelity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) I satisfy her well. She cum a lot. I go to gymn frequently and we fu.. Like rabbits. Do i still being a cuckhold? If you Wiki the word cuckhold you will see that the word is defined as follows: "Cuckold historically referred to a husband with an adulterous wife and is still often used with this meaning. In evolutionary biology, the term cuckold is also applied to males who are unwittingly investing parental effort in offspring that are not genetically their own. So in answer to your question, do I still see you as being a cuckold even though you "satisfy her well", going by a clear understanding of the definition, the answer is a definite yes. In determining if you are a cuckold, the question is not if you are having good sex with her. The question is are other men having good sex with her. Edited January 30, 2015 by Try 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I satisfy her well. She cum a lot. I go to gymn frequently and we fu.. Like rabbits. *Do i still being a cuckhold? *Yes. You are deep deep deep in denial. You have convinced yourself that 'you aren't bothered' by her cheating, because you are terrified of losing her. So you've decided to keep your mouth shut, and just put up with it. Stop pretending. You're devastated. Link to post Share on other sites
BeatsByDirk Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 If OP is cool with it, let it roll! I Don't think you are cuckold if your aren't watching or being demeaned during the process. I do think that if you accept this behavior you must also prepare yourself to accept it for the duration of the relationship and one problem I see that might get on your nerves is: you accepted it, blessed it but she's still not forthcoming. The trust and deception is usually the deal breaker for those who get cheated on, usually it's less important than the act itself. I think if you are willing to accept this, get it all worked out and put on the table so that there are no misunderstandings down the road. This isn't a rug sweeping situation, I applaud you for trying to make your life work for you and not crumpling up just because the accepted social norms for relationships isn't being followed in yours. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 As long as your ok with sharing her with other men what does it really matter? Just supply her with condoms, most wayward's don't use protection because exchanging bodily fluids is part of what gives them their rush. My ex often had sex with O/M than came home and had sex with me, I think it gave her an extra rush, I had no idea. She would literally attack me, boy was I stupid, I took it as a compliment. You may want to stock up on DNA test kits if you stay with this one. At least you know what your getting, most of us are blindsided. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Sir you are a cheaters dream. You accept her disloyalty, bad behavior, selfishness and choose to look the other way. What you have done is give her every reason to cheat and not one reason to stop or show any remorse because as long as she doesn't bring it up because you don't want to talk about it. Priceless. Tell you what genius, be prepared for a whole lot of trouble and there's no one to blame but yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Selfish Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I think you either need to set up a dadt or some other sort of open marriage. Or realize you have given her the green light to cheat. Realize that. But it is also possible that you are going to use this for your own get out of jail free card and plan to cheat yourself in he future. You guys are starting in with dysfunction and marriages are hard. You don't want to start out in such a bad way. The gift is weird. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Antherox Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Cuckhold n. the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision. ok, sorry. I got it. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 If you really want to stick to her despite infidelity, always do a paternity test should she become pregnant. ALWAYS. And as soon as it's proven you're not the father, get out. Even if it would be child No. 2 that would be the other man's, you have to get out, otherwise the court will force you to pay for it anyway as soon as she divorces you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 It's the lying that will eventually destroy you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I think whenever someone says "well, let us never ever mention this horrible betrayal again" it can never end well. She cheated on you, and if you can just automatically go into "meh, lets just never mention it again" mode, that makes me think you are either deluding yourself or the relationship just doesn't mean as much to you as you think. You otherwise wouldn't be so non-chalant about all this, as if cheating is just a thing people do and get over. Let me put it to you this way. No matter what you believe, nobody wants to be with a person who has no love or respect for them, right? This person couldn't possibly have any love or respect for you if they have an affair with a co-worker. So ask yourself: are you okay being with someone who neither loves or respects you? Do you feel you are not deserving of love and respect in a relationship? If you answered "yes" to any of those questions then sure by all means continue on your present course. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Warning, a bit graphic but the only way to get my view across regarding Cuckholding. Be careful when you Google "Cuckhold" as you will get all kinds of Cuckhold porn. Most of it is actually being filmed by the betrayed husband who likes to watch his wife get pounded into a cheap hotel room mattress often by strangers they just met in a bar. They usually join in when the other man is finished which leads me to believe that most of them are bisexual or gay. This is their way of exchanging fluids with another man without having to confess they are gay or bisexual. The difference here is these husbands are willing participants, in your scenario she is forcing it on you. Unless you do something about it, most likely it will happen again. If she's cheating on you only two years into a relationship, what's she going to do to you 10,12,15 years from now when the excitement has worn off? You have no children together, enjoy your time with her but have your exit strategy in place, just don't wait too long to implement it. Stop having unprotected sex with her for two reasons. First, who knows what she may be carrying, your health is at risk. Secondly, you wouldn't be the first man on this site to be trapped into staying because of a pregnancy. The worst thing you can do is nothing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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