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Karma Bus Strikes again.


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My xW and I divorce on January 21 2007. I had spend ten years with her cheating on me and the last time I caught her was 8 days before Christmas. Once it was clear to me she was cheating I threw her out. She immediately moved in with her friend "OM".

 

Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time and I am not sure what happened but I can only imagine he caught her.

 

This of course is breaking my daughters heart but all I can do is be there for her. I have not called her mom up to try to nail things down for sure. I am not sure I will do anything at this point as far as her mother is concerned.

 

This brings me to my next thought. I know this sounds mean but a part of me wants to go to the OM's work and laugh at him. I know that sounds horrible but he had no problem sticking his nose in my marriage and helping to destroy my family. Why should I not get a little joy in seeing him suffer.

 

I mean honestly I just cant stop laughing about it. Its like the best gift all year but I still have to be there for my kids.

 

Clay

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I think I'd be laughing too! You should send a thinking of you card to the OM with a little note in it lol. It sounds like your XW is a serial cheater. It doesn't sound like that train is going to stop anytime soon.

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TrustedthenBusted

Living well is the best revenge. Believe me...there aint nuthin you can say to this guy he hasn't already said to himself.

 

But i hear ya!

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Oh I already do live well. I kept the house. I kept the kids. I have remarried since. I am focused on keeping my kids stable. The only good thing I can say about this is there mother will be leaving town. They do not deserve to be around this situation. I know there hearts will be broken but in the end its probably for the best.

 

Clay

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Congrats to you Clay on a life well lived and your ringside seats to the Karma collision.

 

I'm going to let you in on the inside of the karma bus. It is freaking unbelievable. A relative of mine cheated on her husband. I was with him when he found out by finding a card from her lover telling her how much fun they had on a getaway together. i remember the anguish in his voice when he called me to come read the card to see what I thought. It was clear, she was cheating.

 

Anyhow, she jerked him around, emotionally beat him up and then divorced and married her AP. They were together for years, maybe 5-8. Anyhow, in the year of karma, she was telling us how awesome a man he was, and alluding to how much better a man he was than her first husband. (Guilt and self deceit really makes for interesting conversation) Step to the side as I hear the Karma bus coming full steam. Her and AP/spouse had been desperately trying to have kids. Well, he had a kid...with his mistress. He left her to go be with his mistress, who was also married.

 

Later on, me being the loveable smartass that I am, brought up her now EXAP/H. The look in her eyes and the way that she spoke about the whole karma crash told me everything I needed to know. When Karma hits, they may put on a brave face in front of the BS or AP/Spouse, but in reality, they are in hell because they realize that it was all their fault and did not have to be. I bet your EX was miserable with her AP, and is getting more desperate with the new AP.

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evanescentworld

You guys really need to bone up on what Karma is.

you may think it's the universe gaining revenge for you, but it isn't.

Karma don't do that stuff....

 

I don't know what you would call it, but it's not Karma, so referring to it as karma is incorrect.....

 

Please take it from one who studies Karma as part of her Religious calling.

Karma is big schytt in Buddhism.

 

But this ain't it.

Sorry.

Not being pedantic, just trying to set the record straight.

 

Muchas gracias, an' all dat. ;)

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You guys really need to bone up on what Karma is.

you may think it's the universe gaining revenge for you, but it isn't.

Karma don't do that stuff....

 

I don't know what you would call it, but it's not Karma, so referring to it as karma is incorrect.....

 

Please take it from one who studies Karma as part of her Religious calling.

Karma is big schytt in Buddhism.

 

But this ain't it.

Sorry.

Not being pedantic, just trying to set the record straight.

 

Muchas gracias, an' all dat. ;)

 

You mention this every time. I know your right but they are not going for it and i doubt they ever will. I use it too in the incorrect form. `What goes around comes around`

 

OP/Clay. Sounds like Karma.....(Although slightly different) But sounds as if things are going well for you and the kids. Pleased for you.

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You guys really need to bone up on what Karma is.

you may think it's the universe gaining revenge for you, but it isn't.

Karma don't do that stuff....

 

I don't know what you would call it, but it's not Karma, so referring to it as karma is incorrect.....

 

Please take it from one who studies Karma as part of her Religious calling.

Karma is big schytt in Buddhism.

 

But this ain't it.

Sorry.

Not being pedantic, just trying to set the record straight.

 

Muchas gracias, an' all dat. ;)

 

Personally I don't care what you call it or think it is. I am just happy the OM is getting a taste of his own medicine. As for her getting hers I doubt she ever will. I am just focused on taking care of my kids and keeping her as far away from them as I can. She clearly is not stable and she is continuing to demonstrate it one more time.

 

My daughter was crying most of the night and most of the morning. I called her counceler and the school to let them know. My kids are my focus.

 

Clay

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You guys really need to bone up on what Karma is.

you may think it's the universe gaining revenge for you, but it isn't.

Karma don't do that stuff....

 

I don't know what you would call it, but it's not Karma, so referring to it as karma is incorrect.....

 

Please take it from one who studies Karma as part of her Religious calling.

Karma is big schytt in Buddhism.

 

But this ain't it.

Sorry.

Not being pedantic, just trying to set the record straight.

 

Muchas gracias, an' all dat. ;)

 

 

Ok, so you tell us what Karma really is then. Ive always wanted to know.

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evanescentworld

Karma (Sanskrit) or Kamma (Pali) is actually a word that merely means "Action."

 

It has to be volitional, deliberate, premeditated, and it all begins within the mind, with what you tell yourself.

Kamma is basically everything you think, say or do, on purpose.

In essence, it's actually a HUGE subject, and even among Buddhists, a topic of frequent discussion.

 

So if you are playing tennis, and you accidentally hit your doubles partner with the ball, and give them a black eye, that's not Volitional Kamma.

 

But if you hit them with your raquet, hard, in anger, because they lost you a vital match - well, that's Kamma, right there. And naturally, it's negative kamma, but there is positive kamma also, like surreptitiously paying for the shopping of a pensioner who you see is struggling to add up their groceries at the check-out, and knows they may not have enough cash to buy that loaf of bread.... That's cool Kamma right there.

 

There IS naturally, a consequence to all and every action. There HAS to be. Everything has a result.

Action - Consequence.

Cause - Effect.

 

BUT: We cannot say that an effect/Consequence is always as a direct, definitive, sure-fire result of a specific previous Cause/Action.

 

While I can understand the feeling of come-uppance at the examples given above, there is no guarantee that the misfortunes of those mentioned, is actually a direct result of their previous actions.

It sure looks that way, of course. But it's not a given.

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So did you marry an unstable person or did she become this way? She doesn't sound like she ever wanted to be a mother.

 

I believe now that she was unstable to whole time and I just was blind early on.

 

Clay

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I believe now that she was unstable to whole time and I just was blind early on.

 

Clay

 

Hindsight is 20/20. I also know that my affair made me pretty irrational and crazy for a while so I know cheating can change both the bs and ws. but even then I can't imagine ever walking away from my children.

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If there is such a thing as karma (I personally don't believe in it) then it sounds like that Karma bus keeps hitting your kids as they are the ones who keep getting hurt by their mother's actions.

 

 

Sounds like your ex wife has always made chasing men more important then her own children. Hard to gloat over her recent development when once again her kids are paying the price.

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I wouldn't waste one second on her, but the temptation to make some gesture to her ex lover would be strong...

 

I respect you for being such a committed father.

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Selfish,

Hopefully you will learn from your choices and learn to make healthier ones in the future.

 

I learned that cheaters rob us of a part of ourselves we will never be able to get back. Its that innocence. Sure some people might say its naivete. I thinks its the beauty we all show early on in life. The ability to just look for good in people. This is now gone due to someone deciding they deserve more than you do. A cheater can always work on that for themselves. A BS can't. Its gone. From now on we will always question. We will always wonder what we are being told. It cuts so deep that words can not describe the pain. Is this really a part of the process in our world. Does it really make us better people. Personally I doubt it.

 

anikka99,

 

I have come to the same conclusion.

 

Satu,

 

Thank you.

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Personally I don't care what you call it or think it is. I am just happy the OM is getting a taste of his own medicine. As for her getting hers I doubt she ever will. I am just focused on taking care of my kids and keeping her as far away from them as I can. She clearly is not stable and she is continuing to demonstrate it one more time.

 

My daughter was crying most of the night and most of the morning. I called her counceler and the school to let them know. My kids are my focus.

 

Clay

 

I trust Wiki

 

Karma - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Selfish,

Hopefully you will learn from your choices and learn to make healthier ones in the future.

 

I learned that cheaters rob us of a part of ourselves we will never be able to get back. Its that innocence. Sure some people might say its naivete. I thinks its the beauty we all show early on in life. The ability to just look for good in people. This is now gone due to someone deciding they deserve more than you do. A cheater can always work on that for themselves. A BS can't. Its gone. From now on we will always question. We will always wonder what we are being told. It cuts so deep that words can not describe the pain. Is this really a part of the process in our world. Does it really make us better people. Personally I doubt it.

 

anikka99,

 

I have come to the same conclusion.

 

Satu,

 

Thank you.

 

I did learn from my errors in judgement. Pretty much right away. I was not cut out to be a cheater. It went against everything I believed. My husband had been cheated on by a girlfriend. He has always known that humans are capable of being very selfish (he watches the news) and that the only person you can control is yourself. He is far less jaded than many and has never viewed me as damaged goods. or tainted for life. My cheating is what it is and now it is in the past. He believes in love, forgiveness, and redemption. provided their are actions to back those up. and he knows not everyone will give what is needed in order to make a bad thing good again.

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I did learn from my errors in judgement. Pretty much right away. I was not cut out to be a cheater. It went against everything I believed. My husband had been cheated on by a girlfriend. He has always known that humans are capable of being very selfish (he watches the news) and that the only person you can control is yourself. He is far less jaded than many and has never viewed me as damaged goods. or tainted for life. My cheating is what it is and now it is in the past. He believes in love, forgiveness, and redemption. provided their are actions to back those up. and he knows not everyone will give what is needed in order to make a bad thing good again.

 

That is great that you both are working through it. I wish you both the very best. Its not very often people survive this. I actually talked to my xW today about my daughter and she was just as rude as she has always been. So its clear to me she is still only thinking for herself. I personally hope she moves so I do not have to worry about her hurting my kids anymore but something tells me that might not happen. Some people are just broken and some people will forever hold the title of cheater. Its good to hear that you learned from your horrible choices.

 

Clay

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That is great that you both are working through it. I wish you both the very best. Its not very often people survive this. I actually talked to my xW today about my daughter and she was just as rude as she has always been. So its clear to me she is still only thinking for herself. I personally hope she moves so I do not have to worry about her hurting my kids anymore but something tells me that might not happen. Some people are just broken and some people will forever hold the title of cheater. Its good to hear that you learned from your horrible choices.

 

Clay

 

I think your wife is more than just a cheater though. Yes she continues to cheat but that isn't the only wrong thing she does. She doesn't appear to make any good choices in her life period.

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evanescentworld
I think your wife is more than just a cheater though. Yes she continues to cheat but that isn't the only wrong thing she does. She doesn't appear to make any good choices in her life period.

 

Everybody makes choices which they believe will bring them the happiness and fulfilment they seek.

 

However, very few people consider the possible consequences of their actions, the pain they will cause to others, and the ultimate dissatisfaction in seeking happiness by chasing ephemeral, superficial things.

 

We all do it.

The trick is to recognise it, and to stop.

Think.

Re-consider....

 

But many people, finding themselves unhappy, will repeat the same solution, in an effort to exact a better result.

 

That's called, 'insanity', isn't it?

 

We would say that a person is quite literally 'out' of their Minds.

 

Instinct takes over, little logical thought is applied....

 

Suffering ensues.

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You guys really need to bone up on what Karma is.

you may think it's the universe gaining revenge for you, but it isn't.

Karma don't do that stuff....

 

I don't know what you would call it, but it's not Karma, so referring to it as karma is incorrect.....

 

Please take it from one who studies Karma as part of her Religious calling.

Karma is big schytt in Buddhism.

 

But this ain't it.

Sorry.

Not being pedantic, just trying to set the record straight.

 

Muchas gracias, an' all dat. ;)

 

There are many definitions of Karma, and in some schools of thought this would certainly qualify.

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evanescentworld
There are many definitions of Karma, and in some schools of thought this would certainly qualify.

 

That's why I specified the Buddhist premise.

Which "school of thought" are you thinking of, specifically...? :)

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