My wife is up to something

[brendamike]

Last Friday night my wife went out with her friends to celebrate a friends birthday, I decided to clean out our computer because it was running slow again. When I was deleting files I found one with her name on it, inside were picture she had taken of herself.

[d0nnivain]

Ask her about them or continue sluething to determine if she sent them to somebody else. If she didn't maybe she was thinking of surprising you with them.

[brendamike]

That's what I am doing now trying to find out if she is sending them to someone. I have asked Sprint for copies of her phone records too, but that is not as easy as you think.

[HereNorThere]

Where were they on the computer? Did you check the temporary internet files/temp/cache folders to see if they were uploaded/downloaded with the browser?

 

Were they in simple phone back ups or alone? What time/date stamp were on the files? Have you checked the exlim data on the photos for time, dates, location tags.

 

P.S. - There's a good chance that phone records won't tell you much. I can login to verizon right now and the text message history on contains SMS numbers, but if she uses iMessage on on iPhone or any 3rd party messaging app (skype, what'sapp, snapchat, google voice, etc etc) you won't see those numbers.

Edited September 19, 2014 by HereNorThere

[deathandtaxes]

Ask her about them or continue sluething to determine if she sent them to somebody else. If she didn't maybe she was thinking of surprising you with them.

 

 

 

If OP doesn't see those pics, if the wife doesn't send them in the next few days, then the only conclusion is they are meant for another. Been there, done that with my ex-wife. OP, trust your gut. Don't confront without direct evidence. Just tuck this piece of info into your brain.

[HereNorThere]

If they were taken with a cell phone, I can almost guarantee that they contain the time/date/location in them. Look up EXIF data on google. Pretty much every picture viewer or file browser will display it for you.

 

You could build from that information. Maybe she lied to you about where she was what she was doing that night and you could snowball it.

Edited September 19, 2014 by HereNorThere

[Mr. Lucky]

When I was deleting files I found one with her name on it, inside were picture she had taken of herself.

 

What kind of pictures?

 

Mr. Lucky

[dichotomy]

Dont confront, say nothing, play it nice and easy, even act happy and affectionate (hard to do if you got suspicions).....and start investigating and spying.

[aussietigerwolf]

I assume you have reason to believe these are not innocent pictures?

[michellew]

More to consider...Is it her computer or do you both use it? If it's a shared computer, wouldn't she try to be more careful? How long have you been married? Can they be old photos?

[oldshirt]

Do not confront without more evidence. If you go off half-cocked she will just hide more evidence and go deeper underground. You want her to be sloppy while you investigate.

 

Other than that, we need more info here in order to help you. Give us more background like your ages, how long together, kids, any other reasons to be suspicious, any changes in her behavior, any marital issues, any changes in the bedroom etc etc?

[Chi townD]

I agree with everyone here. Don't go to her with just the pictures, those can easily be explained away. Then, if there is something going on, the only thing you've done is to teach her to hide it better.

 

 

Several things you can do, talk to your phone career and request itemized bill statements for the last several months. Look at all the numbers that were texted and called. If there's a number that you don't recognize and she's text that number A LOT, then do a reverse look up and see who that number belongs to. You can put a keylogger on the computer and you can catch IM messages and emails and she what sites she's been visiting as well.

 

 

If she has an iPhone, then chances are she's charged that phone using the computer. Therefore, chances are, that phone and the computer sync'd up. Hence, there is a hide file on that computer that contains all thetext message that phone has sent and received. You need to download an iPhone file extractor and you'll be able to pull up that hidden file and see what's on there (this only works for the iPhone).

 

 

Then, you can go to Walmart or Best Buy and pick up two Voice Activated Recorders (VAR). Hide one in a room at the house where she does most of her talking on the phone. Then, run to the hardware store and get some heavy duty Velcro. Use the Velcro to secure the second VAR under the drivers seat of her car (most cheaters usually do most of their communication in the car when they think they have privacy and are alone). Listen to what's been recorded when it's safe to do so.

 

 

Finally, you can buy a stick GPS device and place it in her car (under the spare tire well is usually a good spot). So, the next time she's going to a "Girlfriends birthday party" you can track her movements. If she says they're going out to dinner, but you check the computer and it shows she's outside an apartment complex across town, well....that's not a restaurant now is it.

 

 

Gather your evidence, but DO NOT expose until you know you have a smoking gun. And VERY IMPORTANT, DO NOT REVEAL YOUR SOURCES!!! If she asks how you know, tell her a friend called you and said he/she saw her go into someones apartment, NEVER reveal your true sources.

 

 

Look, this may sound sneaky and underhanded spying like this when there should be trust between you two. But, she's given you a reason not to trust. Therefore, you have EVERY RIGHT to know what's going on in your marriage. And if you investigate and nothing turns up? GREAT! FANTASTIC!!! You can stop and she would never need to know. But, if something does turn up, well...sorry but you have the right to know if she's playing you for a fool.

 

 

Right now, she thinks you're clueless. You need to keep it that way. She's relaxed and that's when she makes mistakes. But if you go to her with the pictures, she can probably come up with a viable and believable story, but her guard will be up after that. She'll know that you suspect something. She will know that you're keeping a close eye on things and it will be harder to catch her.

Edited September 19, 2014 by Chi townD

[JamesM]

I have to ask....why would you think that she is up to something that is worthy of infidelity?

 

So she took pics of herself. Some people post pics here on LS in their profile or on a thread. Is that cheating even if their spouse does not know they are doing it?

 

Has your marriage been "bad" or has she shown to be untrustworthy in the past?

 

I have pics of myself on my computer. My wife may too. She may even put them on her FB page (which I rarely check). If I checked her computer because it was running slow (actually it would be my computer geek son who would:laugh:) then I would not assume that pics would make her guilty of being up to something.

 

So why do you?

 

How old are you? Her? How long have you been married? Any affairs by either of you? Kids?

 

I disagree with others though. If you have no other evidence for an affair, then simply ask her and trust her answer. If there has been other reasons for your concern (outside of insecurities), then wait to ask her.

[TrustedthenBusted]

install a free keystroke logger like desktop shark and in 48 hours you will know everything.

[Chi townD]

I have to ask....why would you think that she is up to something that is worthy of infidelity?

 

So she took pics of herself. Some people post pics here on LS in their profile or on a thread. Is that cheating even if their spouse does not know they are doing it?

 

Has your marriage been "bad" or has she shown to be untrustworthy in the past?

 

I have pics of myself on my computer. My wife may too. She may even put them on her FB page (which I rarely check). If I checked her computer because it was running slow (actually it would be my computer geek son who would:laugh:) then I would not assume that pics would make her guilty of being up to something.

 

So why do you?

 

How old are you? Her? How long have you been married? Any affairs by either of you? Kids?

 

I disagree with others though. If you have no other evidence for an affair, then simply ask her and trust her answer. If there has been other reasons for your concern (outside of insecurities), then wait to ask her.

 

 

 

 

All depends on what KIND of pics they are.

 

 

If they're just pics of her standing in the mirror taking a selfie making a duck face; then, I would agree, he's being paranoid. But, if they are sexy and provocative that have never been sent to him. Then, he might have a case to be concerned. I take it as, if he has to come on here and ask advice about pictures he's found, then I have to assume the worst.

 

 

I mean, you said you have pictures of yourself on the computer. Fair enough. But you made reference that people are able to put their pictures on here. Thus, people take pictures of themselves. Okay, I get it. But, if your pics consist of you taking pictures of your junk or there's pics of you in nothing but a speedo and a cowboy hat, your wife might question that!

 

 

I guess my point is, I'm not agreeing with you or disagreeing with you. I suppose it would be better if we knew the true nature of what the pics were.

Edited September 19, 2014 by Chi townD

[atreides]

My take is this... i am assuming first that the picture is a nude/obscene pic as i could not understand why the OP would ask about a non-obscene pic?

 

 

Instead of file location and such... just look at the date on the file... if a reasonable amount of time has passed, i would say it went somewhere else and not to the OP.

[JamesM]

All depends on what KIND of pics they are.

 

 

If they're just pics of her standing in the mirror taking a selfie making a duck face; then, I would agree, he's being paranoid. But, if they are sexy and provocative that have never been sent to him. Then, he might have a case to be concerned. I take it as, if he has to come on here and ask advice about pictures he's found, then I have to assume the worst.

 

 

I mean, you said you have pictures of yourself on the computer. Fair enough. But you made reference that people are able to put their pictures on here. Thus, people take pictures of themselves. Okay, I get it. But, if your pics consist of you taking pictures of your junk or there's pics of you in nothing but a speedo and a cowboy hat, your wife might question that!

 

 

I guess my point is, I'm not agreeing with you or disagreeing with you. I suppose it would be better if we knew the true nature of what the pics were.

 

 

Good points. I think we need more info.

 

As for the bolded, if my wife saw such a picture, she would question my sanity first!

[Chi townD]

^^^^lmao!^^^^

[atreides]

 

As for the bolded, if my wife saw such a picture, she would question my sanity first!

 

mine too

[lollipopspot]

I think we need more info.

 

I agree. Lots of people are obsessed with selfies. It's a weird concept to me, but they like to look at themselves. I've sat with people in restaurants where they take pictures of their food, some selfies, then had the waiter take pictures of us together...to put on FB.