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Did she cheat?? Should I leave??


michaelsmith12

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michaelsmith12

Okay so I will try to make this as short as possible.... But any advice given will be greatly appreciated.

 

I am currently engaged to the woman of my dreams. I knew from the minute I met her that she was the one. Fast forward to 10 months later, 2 months before our wedding and a huge red flag was thrown. She met this guy for lunch, then went back to his condo for an hour after. Ignored my phone calls, texts and even didn't wear her engagement ring. This was on a Monday. Tuesday, she hid from me to talk to him on the phone when I came home un announced. Then on Thursday of that week she called out of work, took food and wine to his condo and spent the better part of the day there. I caught her in all of this and she never told me the truth about it until I told her I knew what happened. The whole time from Monday's lunch date to Thursdays call out of work day, she had said that she was working and busy with clients. SHe is a Paralegal for a huge law firm.

 

So a little background on this guy, they have known each other since Highschool, went on a date a few weeks before her and I met and kept in contact via Facebook bc he was not in town. Since her and I got together, he continued sending her texts, emails and naked photos. She never tried to put an end to it and was always honest with me about it. Now, I never went through her phone or emails so she may have been communicating with him?? But she was honest so I trusted her... We were talking one night about it a few days before she saw him as I mentioned above and she said that she would never hang out with him because of how he was trying to come between her and I, then a few days later they had lunch and everything else that I mentioned earlier...

 

Am I being crazy or am I right for thinking that something possibly happened on those days?? Should I end this because now I can't trust her, she lied and made up crazy stories about those days when she wasn't answering my phone calls or texts.... PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

 

Thanks everyone

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You're not married yet. Is this the sort of thing you want to worry about for the rest of your life? Toss her ass to the curb. Even if she hasn't cheated on you, one should be able to expect their fiance to respect them and be concerned about their feelings.

 

Let her go before shes able to take 50% with her when she leaves anyway.

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At this juncture getting married is a bad idea. You can continue talking but put off the wedding. You won't get most of your deposits back but a longer engagement & some counseling may help.

 

While it's probable that something happened based solely on what you wrote you don't know that she slept with him.

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OMG. So basically she chose you over him because you are local and he wasn't.

 

I can't BELIEVE you are with a chick who accepts naked pictures of a guy!! WTF is wrong with you??? Any girl in love with her man would have shut that sh*t DOWN immediately! By blocking his number!!! A guy isn't going to REPEATEDLY send nudes if a) he isn't getting something back and b) the girl isn't receptive.

 

Honestly get your head out of your ass! How old are you?

 

DUMP IMMEDIATELY!

 

There is literally NO question about this. Of course she cheated, she's been doing so your whole relationship w/ the pics and everything else!

 

She is a liar, she is a cheater and you would be INSANE to marry her.

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Sorry this has happened. But in a way, you're extremely lucky you found out now. Imagine if you were married for 10 years with some kids. Spread your wings and fly man. Good luck. You should also grab an STD test to be on the safe side.

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I agree with everyone else. This pattern will continue after marriage. I made the mistake of being married 10+ years and 3 kids later and my former wife cheated multiple times.

 

But if you want to work on it you need to go to therapy together.

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If it's me, I sit down with her, and let her know that she just ruined the relationship and then I ask for the ring back because if she only wants to wear it part time then she doesn't deserve it, not to mention that she lied to you.

 

That my friend is no way for anyone to go in to a marriage and if you were smart, you would take the ring, sell it, buy yourself something nice and let her go.

 

If not, you better be prepared for a long hard life with her and you'll be kicking yourself for not getting out when you had the chance.

 

You can pretty much believe that there's more to this that she won't fess up to but if I was a betting man, I would say they already did more than drink wine and eat cheese.

 

Right now you need to open your eyes and see it for what it really is. If you do that then you wont need anyone's help.

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I am currently engaged to the woman of my dreams. I knew from the minute I met her that she was the one.

 

Is she still the woman of your dreams, is she still the one?

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Are you kidding? 2 month before the wedding she treats you like ***** and you have any dilemma?

 

But!! I wouldn't tell you to cut it all, because i'm not familiar with the real details. It makes no sense to me that your fiance is cheating on you with such stupidity. (I would cancel the wedding only for her stupidity)

 

One thing i can advice you - Instead of running after her, begging for explanations, tell her to fuc* off, avoid any contact, ignore her, act like you're not together, and let her be begging and running after you.

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You'd be crazy (as well as foolish) to think something did NOT happen.

 

She is actively dating and presumably screwing this guy right under your nose.

 

Immediately call off the engagement and take back the ring. From there you two can discuss the situation and decide if you can comtinue to date or not.

 

Engagement is a legally recognized commitment and neither of you can commit to a future if she is seeing other men.

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Mate, grow a set. If you want to disrespect yourself stay with her, but what has happened is unacceptable and she is NOT the person you think she is.

As we say in the UK, she now has her cake and also chooses to eat it.

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If the roles were reversed she would not accept such disrespect from you so why do you accept such disrespect from her? It does not take a genius to figure out she was cheating on you.

 

If you do not respect yourself then who will?

 

Good grief. If she does this while she is engaged to you just imagine what she will do after you are married. SHE TOOK OFF HER ENGAGEMENT RING WHEN SHE WENT TO VISIT HIM IN HIS CONDO! There is only one reason why she would do this. Don't be an idiot. Move on now!

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I am currently engaged to the woman of my dreams. I knew from the minute I met her that she was the one. Fast forward to 10 months later, 2 months before our wedding and a huge red flag was thrown.

So you met her and asked her to marry you within a couple of months :eek: ?

 

Anything that happened after that shouldn't be a surprise. There's a number of reasons why getting to know your potential spouse and seeing how they handle themselves over time makes sense...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Run far and fast. Let him have her.

 

Do not marry this woman. Call it off, or your divorce when she cheats after you get married with kids, will be expensive.

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Run far and fast. Let him have her.

 

Do not marry this woman. Call it off, or your divorce when she cheats after you get married with kids, will be expensive.

 

Everyone is saying the same thing and I agree RUN.

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Nude pictures, meeting him in private without your knowledge, lying about where she is, ya, she banged him. She is a very high risk repeat future offender and poor wife material. She just gave you a glimpse of your future, get your money back on the ring and put as much distance between you and her as you can. Count yourself lucky that you found out now before children and a big mortgage got in your way. Let her cheating a$$ be his problem now, she just gave you your freedom.

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Looks like there is unanimous opinion here. This one is so easy to figure out it if you just read what you have written. There is no doubt she has had sex with this guy and probably still is.

If you marry this person you will be on this forum for the duration of the marriage and you better make a career change to private investigator because that is what you will spending of your waking hours doing.

She did not even make a decent attempt to cover her tracks

The scary thing is that you are even asking the question of what you should do.

My recommendation is not to even be in the same zip code as her and get rid of her as quickly as you can. You will be very sorry if you do not listen.

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