Jump to content

New friend/old freeing serial cheater


DirectDescendant

Recommended Posts

DirectDescendant

I met a dude on a job a few years back, he was younger than me but in a pretty powerful position at work. Within our respective companies I outranked him and made more money but on the job, he out ranked me, we looked at each other as equal peers. Dude was married with a kid, we hit it off pretty quick and he opened up to me as people tend to do.

 

He wasn't happy with being married, he was a player who got a gal pregnant and decided to make it work. He told me that he was faithful through out the pregnancy but shortly after his kid was born he found a porno of her and her ex getting down while she was pregnant with their kid. This guy's not one to keep it in his pants so he just started doing what he wanted.

Hes kinda fat, but he has game, I've seen it, dude can just pull girls. I have too much of a mean demeanor to pull that off but this guy ran through about six girl who worked at this building we were remodeling in like 2 months.

Anyways he breaks up with his wife in the middle of it, I lose contact with him for 4 years and that's that.

Well I left my company to pursue higher education and stay at home with my child and out of the blue he calls me up, tracked me down. He remembered my skills and he had been looking for me to do a special project. He had ventured in on another one before, tried to contact me but couldn't find me, ended up using another guy and hated they quality of work he received. Come to find out that in 4 years I hadn't talked to him he got back with his wife and had another kid.

I started this new project with him because I think he's hilarious, he's got ADHD and is in a million places at once.

When we started working together again I asked what was up with his family and his "hobbies". He fed me rsome line of being a changed man and not wanting to be a dirtball. Of course one night when we're working together a "special interest investor" shows up and he leave to give her a tour of the project. I knew from the look in her eyed she was there to bang. When he gets back I told him that I walked off in their direction and heard them getting it on, his jaw dropped literally. Then I told him that I hadn't but I thought he was stupid because he's not slick.

Dude tells me he's in love with her and all that affair bubble garbage and then I go on to tell him about her, about him, and how they both feel about their lives and their relationship. He's blown away, I tell him what he feels is real but not real when it comes to real life and he agrees.

I know his wife suspects, I've met his darling little family, they're wonderful. I tell him and he shows me a text she just sen't twenty minutes ago confirming my suspicions about her suspicions. He asked me how I knew and I told him that whenever he leaves the house his wife sends a kid with him. I told him that I have another friend(I introduced them, they love each other and have hung out without me lol!) and his wife does the same thing and I suspect him because of his past to also be a serial cheater(2 kids, wife w/ baggy eyes quiet but worried demeanor same as the my guy I'm initially referring to). I told them that although their wives don't have the evidence and won't leave them their kids go with them everywhere after work so they can't cheat.

 

My friend talks about getting a divorce and being with his MW who hates her husband and loves him. I remind him that he probably has at least another girl going besides her and he gets one offs every other month. He agrees (inside I'm shocked but I still feign confidence in My understanding of his character. I told him he needs to stop because if I know all this then his wife knows all this and that he's gonna hurt a bunch of people. He agrees.

 

Fast forward to phase two of my part of the project a month later. Yeah he's still with her but he's trying to just be friends. I asked how that was working and he said that they had a session that morning. I shake my head. He doesn't know what to do I don't know what to do. I draft a no contact letter for him. He sends it. She texts back and forth, I write some of the harder no contact ones.

 

I'm totally wrong in taking any part in this, but I was only trying to get this guy to clean his act up. I've urged him to come clean, they just started MC. He won't stop. He'll break up with this MW but hell have another.

His wife is closed off to him sexually, he knows he's not her type and he claims he would prefer it if his wife wanted him but, I've witnessed she sees him for a fool and she is in the business of raising a family. I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever Disclose to her this situation but after the project is over I might have to distance myself to not get caught in his downfall. Any ideas on any of it?

Link to post
Share on other sites

You sound like the kind of guy I wish my ex had as a friend :)

 

But seriously, you are probably better off staying out of it. This guy is going to do what he's going to do. You can try to help pull him out of the mess he's made of his life, but the reality is, he has to want to do that for himself.

 

It doesn't sound like he wants to.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
DirectDescendant

That actaually helps, I'll let him hang himself, I'll distance myself from he family, I've held off on our wives meeting because I didn't want to be looked at as a fried of the marriage sitting at the table smiling and eating all the while knowing he's balling someone else.

I'll continue to be supportive in him trying to stop but somewhere inside me believes a lot of his behavior stems from add and I think if he could focus he wouldn't be caught up in this type of behavior so quickly.

I read a good article on ADHD and it's relationship to sex addiction and infidelity after I came up with this hypothesis and to me it makes sense.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...