My husband cheated where do we go from here?

[Lauren.B]

My husband Michael and I have been together eight years and married for five. We met in college and fell blissfully in love. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my everything. We fight like every couple does but I don't know what I would do without him. We have two beautiful twins, Martha and Ben who are four, who he is the most amazing father to. A few weeks ago, Michael went on a bachelor party to Vegas. in hindsight, yes it was probably a bad idea to agree for him to go there but he swore to me that he would as he put it "behave". They left on the Thursday night and came back Monday afternoon and I could tell something was not right. I asked him frequently if everything was okay and he told me it was but there was definitely something wrong. We went out for our date night at the weekend and he told me what had happened.

 

His friends, all of his single friends bar the one getting married, went to a casino, got drunk and took drugs. This was not a surprise to me, as Michael had some issues back when he was a teenager, which are mostly resolved now. What was a surprise was that they met up with a group of girls, young college girls and partied with them. He ended up taking one back to their room and had sex with her.

 

I just felt numb when he told me, I wasn't mad, I wasn't sad, I was just numb. All I wanted to do was to not know. I got up from my seat, got in the car and drove home. As soon as I opened the door, everything hit me, like my heart exploded. I sent the babysitter home early and just cuddled Martha and Ben. I tried so hard to stop myself from crying, but I couldn't. The kids were both so very sweet, Martha said " I hope you feel better Mommy cos it makes my heart sad when you cry." I got them both dressed and put them to bed and lay in my bed and sobbed. Michael came home shortly after and slept in the guest room, without talking to me.

 

Since then, I haven't known how to act around him, all I want is to not talk about it and Michael has apologized and apologized. I don't know what to do, I just want to forget about what happened! is that realistic? I would really appreciate some advice, I can't handle this pain alone.

[tiredofitall2]

My husband Michael and I have been together eight years and married for five. We met in college and fell blissfully in love. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my everything. We fight like every couple does but I don't know what I would do without him. We have two beautiful twins, Martha and Ben who are four, who he is the most amazing father to. A few weeks ago, Michael went on a bachelor party to Vegas. in hindsight, yes it was probably a bad idea to agree for him to go there but he swore to me that he would as he put it "behave". They left on the Thursday night and came back Monday afternoon and I could tell something was not right. I asked him frequently if everything was okay and he told me it was but there was definitely something wrong. We went out for our date night at the weekend and he told me what had happened.

 

His friends, all of his single friends bar the one getting married, went to a casino, got drunk and took drugs. This was not a surprise to me, as Michael had some issues back when he was a teenager, which are mostly resolved now. What was a surprise was that they met up with a group of girls, young college girls and partied with them. He ended up taking one back to their room and had sex with her.

 

I just felt numb when he told me, I wasn't mad, I wasn't sad, I was just numb. All I wanted to do was to not know. I got up from my seat, got in the car and drove home. As soon as I opened the door, everything hit me, like my heart exploded. I sent the babysitter home early and just cuddled Martha and Ben. I tried so hard to stop myself from crying, but I couldn't. The kids were both so very sweet, Martha said " I hope you feel better Mommy cos it makes my heart sad when you cry." I got them both dressed and put them to bed and lay in my bed and sobbed. Michael came home shortly after and slept in the guest room, without talking to me.

 

Since then, I haven't known how to act around him, all I want is to not talk about it and Michael has apologized and apologized. I don't know what to do, I just want to forget about what happened! is that realistic? I would really appreciate some advice, I can't handle this pain alone.

 

Hi, sorry this happened to you. No it is not realistic if you expect to be able to sweep it under the rig and pretend it never happened. If you cannot talk to him about it, get an appointment to see a MC and open up there.

 

You must face it and deal with it. It is the only way you can get pass this. It was a mistake and everyone deserves a second chance. But now boundaries will have to be set and he will have to be ok with that. What he did was not acceptable and hopefully he is not making excuses for it. But it can be overcome.

 

Good luck

[beach]

He's not the good husband and father you describe.

 

He also got drunk and took drugs - then had sex with a stranger.

 

You two have many issues to work through. Counseling might help. Communication is necessary.

 

Get tested for diseases (him too). He's put both your lives at risk!

 

Trust is broken and it may take years to earn it back.

 

He needs to address why he doesn't respect you, the marriage and the family.

 

 

What's to keep him from doing it again? You can't control him - how will he control himself? The drinking/drug thing is a big concern!

 

Many issues to deal with.

 

I'd act mad - because I know I'd be mad! I'd throw him out for a long time and see if he can change his core character (or lack of character).

 

Is he willing to never drink/do drugs ever again?

[tiredofitall2]

Hi, sorry this happened to you. No it is not realistic if you expect to be able to sweep it under the rig and pretend it never happened. If you cannot talk to him about it, get an appointment to see a MC and open up there.

 

You must face it and deal with it. It is the only way you can get pass this. It was a mistake and everyone deserves a second chance. But now boundaries will have to be set and he will have to be ok with that. What he did was not acceptable and hopefully he is not making excuses for it. But it can be overcome.

 

Good luck

 

Sorry for the typos,

 

 

Hi, sorry this happened to you. No it is not realistic if you expect to be able to sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened. If you cannot talk to him about it, get an appointment to see a MC and open up there.

 

You must face it and deal with it. It is the only way you can get pass this. It was a mistake and everyone deserves a second chance. But now boundaries will have to be set and he will have to be ok with that. What he did was not acceptable and hopefully he is not making excuses for it. But it can be overcome.

 

You will feel like you are on a roller coaster of emotions, but it is normal. He will have to be understanding. Read as much as you can on how to survive an affair. You will need it. It is easy to go down the path of resentment and destruction after an A. So be careful and make sure you put your children first at all times.

[AlwaysGrowing]

How can we make a life together, away from our past marriages?

Can I have a relationship with a former patient's father?

My husband cheated where do we go from here?

 

All very different stories you have going on.

 

I lost track of all the different male names in those scenarios.

[violet1]

How can we make a life together, away from our past marriages?

Can I have a relationship with a former patient's father?

My husband cheated where do we go from here?

 

All very different stories you have going on.

 

I lost track of all the different male names in those scenarios.

 

Yep, I noticed that too. Methinks the OP is troll posting random stories to get a reaction from others. I really hate when people do that.