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How strong is intuition? Dreams about infidelity?


hayleym

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experiencethedevine
Without any evidence or proof, did you have a 'gut feeling' or did you dream about your partner cheating on you?

 

 

Yes. Both.

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For me it was a gut feeling. But that came when I found irrefutable evidence. I did have suspicion raised with the other guy. He didn't act right at all around me stemming from a long time ago. He'd try to avoid conversations with me as much as he could. This raised a flag with me. I was also uncomfortable how he looked at my wife.

 

The other thing was how she defended him when I'd say stuff about him. I even questioned her if she thought he was attractive which she had admitted to awhile ago before I found out. She had also admitted she loved his eyes. But when I questioned anything about being physical with him she'd just say "Eww that would never happen".

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lilmisscantbewrong

For both my husband and xmom's wife - they knew - she had a gut feeling even before anything had been spoken between us as far as our attraction to each other. She knew. My husband was suspicious as well - for a long time. Even to the point close to the end that he thought about hiring a PI. I don't know if they had dreams about it, but it is likely. Never discount intuition - it is almost always right.

 

With my husband, I knew something was up just by the way he would bring her name up from time to time - then came the first text I intercepted and even though it didn't reveal much, it was enough to know.

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We weren't even living together during any of his activities. I had dreams and I know him better than he knows him. I didn't have to notice much about changed patterns or schedules as we were not living in the same zipcode during any of these times.

 

My dreams always involved names too (just my mind trying to play sleuth I guess). Very strange, as one woman's name is not one you hear a lot. I would see a piece of paper and letters jumbled. They would work out to be a name. They were correct about first letters and the general sound of the name. Weird. My husband never ever mentioned these women either. Intuition just spoke to me.

 

That's when I asked questions. In hindsight I should had not been so quick to show my hand but he didn't try to cover his tracks anyhow. After that I found all I needed. Each OW actually threw him under the bus. They had other things going on. Boyfriend's, husband's of their own. One even had a girlfriend. Each one ( that I know of) I found out about within weeks of it happening.

 

People should listen to their gut. It's that feeling that keeps us alive and out of bad situations. Other times it guards our emotional state, our heart's.

 

Yes, people should listen to that feeling. There is world full of people that do not have one's best interest at heart. Who could care less who they hurt. Very sad.

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I didn't dream that he cheated, but I did dream that I "lost" him and couldn't find him. It was a long complicated dream but it was very vivid and disturbed me enough to write about it in my journal.

 

Now looking back... I wrote that journal right around the time that he says the affair started.

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I had a strong gut feeling the entire time their affair was going on, but it took me awhile to link this feeling to them. I guess I trusted them both too much, and I fell for the sob story that his ex cheated on him, got pregnant and left him for the OM.

 

No dreams though, those came after I found the proof.

 

Why are you asking this? Are you getting worried that your husband may be catching on?

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As with others - I have ignored my gut way to many times. Sometimes my gut has told me nothing and there was someting going on. But it has never been wrong when it did speak up. In other words when the gut decideds to tell you something - there is - "something".

 

My own dreams don't tell me anything I don;t already know which is how I am thinking and feeling about stuff. Its funny when my wife tells me her dreams - because she can't see what they mean - but I do very clearly.

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Why are you asking this? Are you getting worried that your husband may be catching on?

 

I've been the first to admit my affair is to fill my selfish needs. I haven't felt as guilty as I would have thought a couple years ago, I would in this kind of situation, and I think a big part of that is because I justify that me and OM are opportunity cheaters. We dont 'go on dates' We prioritize our families 95 percent of the time. Only meeting when there is no where else we are supposed to be. As in, not stealing time from our spouses? That's how I saw it.

 

But lately yes, I've been trying to place myself in my husbands shoes. I don't want to hurt anyone and I'm just trying to understand how to be a better person for every one involved.

 

I'm posting here instead of on the OM/OW section because I'm really trying to figure out where my head is at.

 

I don't know what I want for sure but I know I don't want to hurt anyone.

 

I have stopped contacting OM, for the last couple weeks, because I felt especially over Christmas I should keep my thoughts from going there. There is no evidence I'm cheating but I assume there must be signs, even without meaning to I must have distanced emotionally from my husband, I am really trying to figure that out, I want to fix it.

 

My husband recently had a dream I cheated on him. First dream of that kind he's ever had, he told me about it, didnt seem that concerned but did say it bothered him.

 

My feeling is he suspects I've changed and can't place why. He didn't say this but telling me about his dream was a hint I feel.

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I'm sure faithful men love the "I had a dream you were cheating, so you must be cheating" conversations. You know, the ones that can't be refuted, because its a dream.

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Intuition . .. sure that's valid & deserves further exploration. Dreams . . not so reliable.

 

But intuition could spark a dream?

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I'm sure faithful men love the "I had a dream you were cheating, so you must be cheating" conversations. You know, the ones that can't be refuted, because its a dream.

 

Yes my friend dreams often her husband is cheating. He is though.

My husband never has until now.

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As with others - I have ignored my gut way to many times. Sometimes my gut has told me nothing and there was someting going on. But it has never been wrong when it did speak up. In other words when the gut decideds to tell you something - there is - "something".

 

My own dreams don't tell me anything I don;t already know which is how I am thinking and feeling about stuff. Its funny when my wife tells me her dreams - because she can't see what they mean - but I do very clearly.

 

Same with me.

 

I don't dream a lot compared to others in my life, or, maybe I do and just don't remember.

 

I have incredible intution, gut feeling, inner voice though. And, I fight it, all the time. I don't like knowing why I feel the way I do about something, or someone, without concrete data in front of me.

 

In my current dating situation my ex gf, after her doing 8 months of self work on herself, wants to get back together. Everything "on paper" looks amazing from her side, I see major life changes in her, and it feels incredible. My gut is telling me something is off though..I can't figure out what that is though. It almost feels like something happened to her, or something like that, that she is not sharing with me.

 

She's been very honest, told me about someone she slept with, which I never asked, while we were apart. She's always been a very honest and open person. I just feel something, something untrusting...and I hate it.

 

How do I tell her, "something feels off"? Not looking for an answer or stealing this thread......

Edited by Babolat
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I've been the first to admit my affair is to fill my selfish needs. I haven't felt as guilty as I would have thought a couple years ago, I would in this kind of situation, and I think a big part of that is because I justify that me and OM are opportunity cheaters. We dont 'go on dates' We prioritize our families 95 percent of the time. Only meeting when there is no where else we are supposed to be. As in, not stealing time from our spouses? That's how I saw it.

 

But lately yes, I've been trying to place myself in my husbands shoes. I don't want to hurt anyone and I'm just trying to understand how to be a better person for every one involved.

 

I'm posting here instead of on the OM/OW section because I'm really trying to figure out where my head is at.

 

I don't know what I want for sure but I know I don't want to hurt anyone.

 

I have stopped contacting OM, for the last couple weeks, because I felt especially over Christmas I should keep my thoughts from going there. There is no evidence I'm cheating but I assume there must be signs, even without meaning to I must have distanced emotionally from my husband, I am really trying to figure that out, I want to fix it.

 

My husband recently had a dream I cheated on him. First dream of that kind he's ever had, he told me about it, didnt seem that concerned but did say it bothered him.

 

My feeling is he suspects I've changed and can't place why. He didn't say this but telling me about his dream was a hint I feel.

 

Interesting, my ex gf said this weekend "I can't read you like I use to be able to when we dated, what's going on in that mind of yours?"

 

What's even more interesting, during a 3 month period of NC, where, she had sex with an ex (which does not bother me as we were apart), I felt it, and remember thinking to myself during that time she said they were together "I bet she is with her ex", and again, it did not bother me, I just had this feeling. I also think i had a dream about it, but I can't remember for sure. I do remember having a dream with him in it, or his presence was in the dream.

 

Ugh to gut feeling and intuition!

 

My best guess with you, is you are putting off a different energy, that, subconsciously he is picking up on. Queues if you will, something is just "different" about you, and, maybe he is feeling it.

 

Sometimes, I think we let past experiences play with our intuition. For example, a lot of my friends/family think my ex-wife had to have cheated on me. I have no idea, and, don't really care as I am so much happier now. But, I do think I carry some trust issues with me now because of that. Plus, having spent time on LS reading so many cheating/affair stories, which I was oblivious to when I was married, I never knew that "really" happened, I think about it more than I use to. In addition, every woman I have dated since my divorce, they were cheated on. Plus, one of my best friends, well, when his wife is not in town, and we go out, he flirts, touches, plays, and admits he would if he could get away with it. This weekend for example we were at a Christmas party together. One of our mutual female friends was there, a hotty. At one point I saw him behind her rubbing her neck and moving his hands thru her hair. I simply cannot imagine how anyone can do that when in a comitted relationship. My best guess is, this plays a role in my intuition, gut feeling sometimes. Hopefully this makes sense.

Edited by Babolat
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I should have listened to my gut. But I let my head override what my gut was telling me. I haven't posted many details on my wife's affair but it is very similar to what you are doing. She had a three year affair with her best friend's husband. He was kind of my friend too, but I never really liked him that well and didn't spend near as much time with them as she did. Of course, I finally discovered the truth and everything came out. And it predictably wreaked total devestation on everyone involved. I will be posting a thread soon with the details as my situation is finally coming to a conclusion.

 

I think you are playing with fire and have rationalized your actions so much that you don't know which way is up. Have you thought that perhaps his "dream" was a ploy? Maybe his gut is telling him something is wrong and that was his was of checking your reaction. A soft confrontation of sorts.

 

I will leave you with this. If you continue, you will get caught. The parties involved are too close and interconnected. It may be too late already. And whatever destruction and pain you imagine getting caught will cause, multiply it by 10.

 

I think your husband and your friend deserve to know the truth. However, if you want to avoid the inevitable pain and destruction you are going to cause you must end your affair now and find a way to disengage from this other couple.

 

And by the way, it will absolutely affect your kids more than you know.

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I guess I just gotta ask...so what's the point of the question?

 

Odds are, your H is starting to notice changes and his sub-conscious caused him to dream what he did.

 

So what?

 

What are you going to change in light of this revelation?

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I think you are playing with fire and have rationalized your actions so much that you don't know which way is up. Have you thought that perhaps his "dream" was a ploy? Maybe his gut is telling him something is wrong and that was his was of checking your reaction. A soft confrontation of sorts.

 

 

I think your husband and your friend deserve to know the truth. However, if you want to avoid the inevitable pain and destruction you are going to cause you must end your affair now and find a way to disengage from this other couple.

 

And by the way, it will absolutely affect your kids more than you know.

 

I am definitely thinking that could be his way of letting me know he feels something is off. First time in two years he's shown any sign of thinking something and yes my family is my ultimate priority, I have admitted I'm selfish and will always seek to fill my needs, but this was my first affair and I would agree it would be wrong to ever start another. Falling in love with someone else was wrong, my friends husband, my husbands friend, it makes it a lot worse I see that

 

I'm really trying to line up knowing that with what I feel for him.

I want to keep my marriage.

 

I will not be confessing but ending the affair is really what I should focus on first but I'm not sure I'm ready to do that.

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lilmisscantbewrong
I am definitely thinking that could be his way of letting me know he feels something is off. First time in two years he's shown any sign of thinking something and yes my family is my ultimate priority, I have admitted I'm selfish and will always seek to fill my needs, but this was my first affair and I would agree it would be wrong to ever start another. Falling in love with someone else was wrong, my friends husband, my husbands friend, it makes it a lot worse I see that

 

I'm really trying to line up knowing that with what I feel for him.

I want to keep my marriage.

 

I will not be confessing but ending the affair is really what I should focus on first but I'm not sure I'm ready to do that.

 

 

 

You are foolish - and I say this kindly - he already knows. He is also most likely gathering evidence. The dream is a warning to him from his higher self and his "gut" is catching up quickly.

 

 

I believe, as I stated in the previous thread, you need to confess now. It will blow up and you will lose these people in your life no matter what. Do the right thing - end it and confess.

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I believe, as I stated in the previous thread, you need to confess now. It will blow up and you will lose these people in your life no matter what. Do the right thing - end it and confess.

 

Not gonna happen. Nothing anyone on the Internet could say would change my stance on confession.

 

He does not suspect an affair with the guy I'm having an affair. I have ways of knowing this for a fact that I will not be sharing here, but just as Betrayed spouses have seen concreit evidence by snooping, I have as well that he does not know.

 

But I do feel he's sensing I am pulling away from him and really it's never been my intention to disconnect from him. So I'll be focusing on our relationship to make us both feel better.

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painfullyobvious

I think this is often the first clue that something is wrong. I did not have any clue of what was going on but things just felt "wrong" for some reason. I never had any proof or evidence but I think we pick up on odd behavior changes that we overlook directly but maybe our subconscious finds "weird". I cannot explain it but I confronted my ex a few times that I felt something was odd and I asked her directly if everything was okay for us. I was called paranoid, jealous and even depressed for many months. My gut feeling was later substantiated. I have learned to listen to my inner voice and gut feelings much more since my experience with cheating. When that inner voice or gut feeling starts to rumble in me these days I start to look around and took notice now

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I guess I just gotta ask...so what's the point of the question?

 

Odds are, your H is starting to notice changes and his sub-conscious caused him to dream what he did.

 

So what?

 

What are you going to change in light of this revelation?

 

sounds to me like she's covertly asking for tips on how to better cover her tracks and gaslight her husband should the issue ever come up.

 

 

But I do feel he's sensing I am pulling away from him and really it's never been

my intention to disconnect from him. So I'll be focusing on our relationship to

make us both feel better.

 

.....and be able to continue with your affair.

 

need i say more.

Edited by Artie Lang
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lilmisscantbewrong

Hayley - if I were you I would stay in the OM/OW section. Look, I am both a FWW and a BS, but you are playing with fire and in the infidelity forum you aren't going to get what you are looking for.

 

 

Even in the OM/OW section you won't get it (not from me anyway) because most of us have been in your shoes and have seen and felt the destruction. You are minutes away from it even if you don't think so.

 

 

I didn't think my husband had a clue either and I certainly didn't think his BS did - in fact he had me convinced she wasn't smart enough - she was too "innocent" to suspect. He was wrong - WAY wrong.

 

 

And I think you are too.

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