firststeps Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Reality Check. Starting to hear more about my STBXH and his affair with the OW and even though it makes my blood boil, l need to hear it. lt helps me snap out of the past, the dream land, rainbows and unicorns It brings to the surface that man l loved is no longer alive. Time to file the separation papers in Jan. Here are my top 3, "wake up and smell the cheater" for the week. Feel free to add any of yours to the post. 1) His mom walked in on him having sex with the OW at his workplace. 2) OW bought him an expensive mountain bike for Christmas 3) He bought her and her kids christmas gifts. Reminder: He left me for her, time to let go of the fantasy that anything could ever be the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Oberfeldwebel Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Congratulations, you had an amazing epiphany, saved your self months of grief and a quicker recovery. Understand that though you have blamed the end of the relationship to his lying, cheating, cold dead beating, two-timing, double dealing, mean mistreating, loving heart, that does not mean that you won't have waves of emotion that will come over you for awhile. There is not much you can do to stop it, just understand it happens and will lessen with time. The holidays can be difficult with everyone being so high in festivities, it makes your lows seem even lower. Keep yourself busy with friends and family, volunteer to help others to take the emphasis off of your situation. Exercise can also help relieve the stress and makes a healthier you. You did not say, but I get the feeling that you two do not have children. The absence of children makes for a cleaner break and allows you to move on to a better relationship that lies ahead. Chin up girl, there is a brave new world out there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Yikes! I wish for strength for you. I know he hurt you but at least you did see his true colors. You will hopefully find a man who truly lives you and not himself. This man isn't capable of loving anyone so pity the OW. She will be getting her due punishment in time. He is probably hating himself. His own mother knows he is a cheating dog! You are better off without him. You are better off alone and happy instead of with this scumbag. Tomorrow is a better day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
experiencethedevine Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Reality Check. Starting to hear more about my STBXH and his affair with the OW and even though it makes my blood boil, l need to hear it. lt helps me snap out of the past, the dream land, rainbows and unicorns It brings to the surface that man l loved is no longer alive. Time to file the separation papers in Jan. Here are my top 3, "wake up and smell the cheater" for the week. Feel free to add any of yours to the post. 1) His mom walked in on him having sex with the OW at his workplace. 2) OW bought him an expensive mountain bike for Christmas 3) He bought her and her kids christmas gifts. Reminder: He left me for her, time to let go of the fantasy that anything could ever be the same. Darling girl, there will come a time when you will hear that your errant twat of a husband has left his other woman for someone else, and she will be left in the same place he left you.............. what goes around does indeed come around. Take heart, keep your dignity intact and know that you ARE worthy of adoration from the right person, and it WILL happen. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Reality Check. Starting to hear more about my STBXH and his affair with the OW and even though it makes my blood boil, l need to hear it. lt helps me snap out of the past, the dream land, rainbows and unicorns It brings to the surface that man l loved is no longer alive. Time to file the separation papers in Jan. Here are my top 3, "wake up and smell the cheater" for the week. Feel free to add any of yours to the post. 1) His mom walked in on him having sex with the OW at his workplace. 2) OW bought him an expensive mountain bike for Christmas 3) He bought her and her kids christmas gifts. Reminder: He left me for her, time to let go of the fantasy that anything could ever be the same. You are getting healthier....and that is a sure step on the way to healing! Know it's hard, but living in YOUR reality is better for you than the what ifs, what could have been, than what IS HAPPENING now! Please keep concentrating on the here and now as it IS the only reality that exists and the one that will shape your future. Focus on you and forgetibout him...and her. Do Not pick up that phone....I beg you! let them be them....What do you envision for your future? how do you see yourself? how do you see the new you in your future? Do. It. Today. Link to post Share on other sites
Zenstudent Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Welcome to the un-fogged reality. Sounds like you are about to come to terms with your newfound reality. Find some positives in the fact that he left. You don't need to spend years wondering if reconciliation is the right thing to do. I would say it takes a lot to match your top three - being busted by his mum - yikes! I only have one experience to match the smell of a cheater. My wife made me cook her OM a meal because the poor bastard's wife was out on a business travel, so he had to take care of household and three kids - and some other stuff as well, I guess. In hindsight quite humiliating. Make the best of the holidays, get busy and focus on good things to be gratefull about. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
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