Many cheat and stop, but just as many cheat and cheat and cheat and cheat. It depends on what caused him to cheat in the first place. Was this a one time deal? Serial cheater? An affair or a one-nighter?
Have you ever heard the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" I don't really believe that. I believe that people can change, but they have to want to change. They can't stop what they are doing for anyone else, it has be for themselves. Best of luck to you.
Well I am not quite sure. He wont talk or open up. But I have talked to some of his friends that have come by to see the new baby, and his brothers tell me that he dosen't know what he wants right now. They all strongly believe that he does love me and that he will soon realize what a big mistake he is making. apparently he said that I was a good wife, a great woman.
I know he is cheating because the opportunity is there. In this line of business that we are both in the single people out there are plenty. And since he feels he still can (cause hes only 27) he does.
I for one have never cheated and don't intend to.
I sill love him and now I am moving away and taking his kids. Thats whats going to hurt him the most.
One of my friends told me to leave the divorce papers on the table to show him that I am not taking any more of ****.
Sounds like a habitual offender to me. I'm all for giving a second chance to people who make mistakes. But it sounds like he's doing this over and over. I'm sorry, but that is plain disrespect for you and your family. He needs counceling.
Tell you what you do. When he comes home tonight, tell him that you want him to watch the baby, and you are going to go out and find someone to have sex with. Let's see how he likes that!!!
He needs to know what damage he is causing in your marriage.
Yes, I believe a cheater can stop, if 'THEY WANT TO"
Yes, leaving may help, but only if at that point he is willing for you both get marriage counseling.
Set time that you are willing to see if the counseling going to work and if after your set frame it isn't do what you feel is best for you. Hope things workout for you and just know this "Deserve to be happy", don't let anyone take that away from.
Unfortunately, however...most cheaters don't change until they have learned the HARD way. Cheaters need to suffer consequences for their actions.
I think it's good you left him. Let him feel devastated. Don't soften when he calls you begging for another chance. If a cheater thinks he can win you over with some slick talk, he'll just go back to his old ways. A cheater needs to experience loss, loneliness and pain to fully comprehend that their actions are intolerable for other people.
Let him stew in his juice.
If, after a year, he still wants to get back together, tell him only on the condition he go to couples therapy with you.
I told him I was leaving three days ago and since then he asked me if I am sure of what I am doing. He asked me to stay cause I was losing a good job. Then he asked me again, why dont you go for 6 weeks and then come back, you have a good job he said.
Sound like he's more concerned about the money you're bringing in. Like I said, tell him you'll stay, but if he's going to keep cheating on you, then you're going to find you a love toy. I'm serious too, see how that sets with him. If he says fine with me, pack you stuff and get you and the baby out.
About him regretting it, I don't think he's suffered at all, so how can he regret it? If you leave the only harm you're doing to him is taking your salary out of the picture. At least, that's what he's making it sound like to me.
SoHurt your husband is a scum that decided to f*ck his way out of his marriage-instead of getting a divorce. This way, you leave him. He still gets to mess around. Weren't you worried that he had given you an STD at some point?
What did your parents say? I think you're doing the right thing, for now-how can you work on a marriage that doesn't even really exist? How can you try to fix something when the other person refuses to admit it's broken, and is too lazy to try?
At least you have some place to go. There are some people that don't even have that. No friends or family willing to help them out or take them in, and then they feel they are stuck to stay in marriage they're not happy in. I can't believe he wants you to stay because he said you have a good job! Looks to me like if he loved you like he says he would have at least said he wanted you to stay because of that, not a job. I'm sorry you going through this though. Good luck.
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