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Wife and bestfriend


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 21st September 2013, 2:15 AM   #16
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r
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grumpybutfun View Post
Leaving:
Did she give you any reason or indication of why she cheated with yr best friend? Did he mention anything about it? What did they say?
G
Hear her reason for what so that she can sweet lie you again and just forget what she did?

Last edited by happysong; 21st September 2013 at 2:26 AM..
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Old 21st September 2013, 2:39 AM   #17
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You are handling this very well. Make sure you get tested for STD's. I hope you have contacted her parents and exposed her affair to everyone. Good luck.
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Old 21st September 2013, 2:59 AM   #18
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WTF?? Big man, there are LOTS of other women in this gigantic world. Kick her ass to the curb like you have already done and move on my man. Keep that piece of mind you already have when u gave her the boot!....not once, but TWICE!!! Hopefully she didn't give you any STD's from douchcanoe Dave or whatever the F his name is. Good lord! Your first reaction was the BEST! Good luck brother!
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Old 21st September 2013, 3:54 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by Bryanp View Post
You are handling this very well. Make sure you get tested for STD's. I hope you have contacted her parents and exposed her affair to everyone. Good luck.
Her parents knew about the first time and they were mad azz hell told her how could she hurt the one she loved.I definitely going to get tested
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Old 21st September 2013, 4:02 AM   #20
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WTF?? Big man, there are LOTS of other women in this gigantic world. Kick her ass to the curb like you have already done and move on my man. Keep that piece of mind you already have when u gave her the boot!....not once, but TWICE!!! Hopefully she didn't give you any STD's from douchcanoe Dave or whatever the F his name is. Good lord! Your first reaction was the BEST! Good luck brother!
this time she's not coming back to home that i bought basically she cut off she on her own now won't have me waiting hand and foot trying to keep her happy.should have kept that slut outta my house when first caught
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Old 21st September 2013, 4:20 AM   #21
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It's good to blow off steam and you are doing a really good job of it Stay away from her until your anger subsides - it's safer for both of you.

The betrayal you feel is made worse by the fact she screwed your best friend - they both stabbed you in the heart. You should think about seeing a counselor - they can help you get through a crisis like this. And you need someone to help you begin repairing the damage she has done to you.

If I were you I would make sure you have no physical contact with your cheating wife. Understand that this was no "mistake" on her part; it's who she is and she isn't going to change without a lot of hard work. There is no reason for you to throw away any more of your life with her. Divorce her and move on with your life.
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Old 21st September 2013, 11:27 AM   #22
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The mind movies of what you walked in on would take you the rest of your life to get over. I now have zero tolerance as my policy regarding infidelity, no second chance, no do over, no exceptions. They know the consequence before they consider the act. My next relationship will include a postnuptial agreement, I have too much to loose, just not going to happen again.

Your wife does not respect you enough to bang your friend in your own bed, chances are it wasn't their first time, just the first time you caught her. If you have no children involved and your only 24, why waste anymore time on a bad investment, cut your loss's. The girl is broken and will need years of counseling. She turned down your gift of reconciliation by continuing to communicate with him, she was choosing him over you and your marriage. You are doing the right thing.
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Old 21st September 2013, 11:48 AM   #23
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Do not weaken and take her back. Reason you are young and have the time to start over. No kids, no financial entanglements.

Your case is an example when not to save a marriage.
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Old 21st September 2013, 12:01 PM   #24
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Good on you, OP.

I join the choir in recommending that there is no need to hear her side or your former buddy's. It will be something like, you had it all and he was jealous, she wanted the attention etc etc: but it matters not a bean.

For Chrissakes avoiding her 100% is the only safe way. She will rationalise and apologise and blameshift and try to worm her way out of it if you let her, and the part of you that misses her will be vulnerable sometimes. Beware, and avoid.

Come back after the divorce and tell us how it went: from here, it sounds like the good news for you will by then have begun.
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Old 21st September 2013, 2:01 PM   #25
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I can understand giving a wayward spouse a second chance. But when they've seen what this does to people only to do it again, well, no third chances.

Good luck with your divorce.
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Old 21st September 2013, 3:08 PM   #26
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Leaving, since you're going to divorce here's a word of advice for you in dating and settling down with a new woman (not that you're ready for that at this point): Before getting serious with a woman, pay close attention to how they treat other people, especially people who can do nothing for them.
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Old 21st September 2013, 3:31 PM   #27
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I have arranged to meet her today at 6 to get answers the question i'm going to ask

How did this really start ?

How long ?

Do you love him ?

Did you ever loved me ?

What was your goal ?

Why ?

also meeting her to let her know i going full steam ahead with this divorce and the next you here from me it will be my lawyer trying the detail figured out
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Old 21st September 2013, 4:49 PM   #28
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Ask her if she did things with the AP that she never did for you or with you?

So would she do something for you that she never did for the affair partner?

She spent so much energy in the affair, and the coverup.

Would she do something wonderful for you? like not cheat on you? or lie to you? or do things with the AP that she would not do for you?
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Old 21st September 2013, 5:09 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
Her parents knew about the first time and they were mad azz hell told her how could she hurt the one she loved.I definitely going to get tested
forgive me if i missed it, but you state "first time" so cheated before this time?
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Old 21st September 2013, 5:14 PM   #30
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a waste of a good man xx
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