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Wife and bestfriend


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 20th September 2013, 11:06 PM   #1
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Wife and bestfriend

About 6 months ago I caught my bestfriend and wife in bed together I lost it and ww3 happen I kicked his ass and kicked her ass out.It took some time but I forgave her and everything was getting back on track until I finds out she still is in contact with him when I told her no contact.i packed her bags and kicked her out.now is crying and begging me to give her another chance.

Background
Me 24
Her 23

Him and me has been friends since the age of 3


Me:College graduate
Him:Highschool Dropout

Me:Own my House
Him:still staying with parents

Me:No heavy drugs just a pot smoker
Him:coke head

Me:Never Cheated
Him:serial cheater

Me:about a million in the bank and making $175,000 a year
Him:No job and no set goals

PS.

I paid for everything while she sat home and screwed my Ex-best friend

Think god I was smart enough to get her to sign a prenup she gets nothing her safety net is gone.
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Old 20th September 2013, 11:36 PM   #2
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is this just an FYI or is there a question? sounds like you have got it all handled.
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Old 20th September 2013, 11:40 PM   #3
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is this just an FYI or is there a question? sounds like you have got it all handled.
This is a way for me Vent don't have nobody else to talk to lost the two who meant everything
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Old 20th September 2013, 11:50 PM   #4
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Don't allow her back. At least not for a long while. She needs to prove to you on all levels that she is worthy of another chance. She's in desperation mode right now and will do or say anything.

Take your time, figure out if she is worth it. Think about your marriage. Before she cheated, how were things between you? Did she treat you well? Was she a good wife? Loving, kind, supportive and also fun to be with?

Let her understand the consquences of her selfish actions and suffer for a bit. She will not change her ways until SHE hits rock bottom.

Sorry you're hurting. Double betrayal sucks and it's really shi.tty that your so called best friend did this to you, as well as the woman you thought had your back and loved you.
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Old 20th September 2013, 11:50 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
This is a way for me Vent don't have nobody else to talk to lost the two who meant everything
ah, well it sucks.... it happened to my best friend. His wife cheated on him 3 times before he finally gave her up. The first was with his best friend of 12 years. He forgave her but not his best friend.

It happens alot, it seems women cheat wit those in the circles of people they know rather than outside the known circle of people. You are not alone and there are a lot of great people on here who have been there as the betrayed spouse and the opposite whom have been the exact same as your wife.

Your best friend should have been in my opinion the fail safe to stop something like that, that is why they are our wing man. I think women who love us, also love the things we love when it comes to those closest to us which likely share the most of us in life such as a best friend. I think that may be the hardest for you having been his best friend for so long. Sometimes we also do not see that our best friends are our worst enemy, such as the start out as such but something untold to us sets off jealousy and rage and starts the clock for something like what he did to you. I have seen it unfortunately

As for your wife, that is your relationship to deal with, she strayed and betrayed.... if you do not have much together such as kids and assets, it is easier logically and legally to leave but your heart will have to catch up to your mind on that one.
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Old 20th September 2013, 11:54 PM   #6
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Wow, your wife and your best friend since you were three years old? That is harsh. I am so, so sad this happened to you. I hope you find peace and know that you will be okay. I can not even imagine the betrayal you are feeling right now. Please take care of yourself. Know that this is on them and not you.
Best of Luck,
Grumps

Last edited by Grumpybutfun; 20th September 2013 at 11:59 PM..
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Old 20th September 2013, 11:59 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
Don't allow her back. At least not for a long while. She needs to prove to you on all levels that she is worthy of another chance. She's in desperation mode right now and will do or say anything.

Take your time, figure out if she is worth it. Think about your marriage. Before she cheated, how were things between you? Did she treat you well? Was she a good wife? Loving, kind, supportive and also fun to be with?

Let her understand the consquences of her selfish actions and suffer for a bit. She will not change her ways until SHE hits rock bottom.

Sorry you're hurting. Double betrayal sucks and it's really shi.tty that your so called best friend did this to you, as well as the woman you thought had your back and loved you.
I this point i can't forgive her

B4 all this started i taught we were solid even if we used to have couples spats from time to time we used to make up like an hour later i never hated our marriage.

I still do love her but can't spend the rest of my life with someone i can't trust
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Old 21st September 2013, 12:04 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Grumpybutfun View Post
Wow, your wife and your best friend since you were three years old? That is harsh. I am so, so sad this happened to you. I hope you find peace and know that you will be okay. I can not even imagine the betrayal you are feeling right now. Please take care of yourself. Know that this is on them and not you.
Best of Luck,
Grumps
That what me the most as long as i can remember he was in my life and both of us the only child we were like brothers i even stayed at his mom house when my parents died when i was 16
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Old 21st September 2013, 12:05 AM   #9
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Leaving:
Did she give you any reason or indication of why she cheated with yr best friend? Did he mention anything about it? What did they say?
G
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Old 21st September 2013, 12:05 AM   #10
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I this point i can't forgive her

B4 all this started i taught we were solid even if we used to have couples spats from time to time we used to make up like an hour later i never hated our marriage.

I still do love her but can't spend the rest of my life with someone i can't trust
You are young and as much as you love her it's good that you can see that there's a real good possibility there's gonna be a divorce.

Not all forgive and not all are worth fighting for. Your wife is broken inside, and extremely selfish. She turned your world upside down, all for what? The bad boy! Well, her loss.
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Old 21st September 2013, 12:13 AM   #11
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Leaving:
Did she give you any reason or indication of why she cheated with yr best friend? Did he mention anything about it? What did they say?
G
when first caught she told me it was a bad mistake and tried to put all the blame on saying he came on to her.I quickly reminded her that it was her choice to her open legs she could have said no and it was her choice to bring that scum in our martial home.

As for him i haven't had no contact other then last time i caught him in bed with my wife and doing that time it was more about me trying to kick his azz( And i Did- black eye,busted lip and nose and big knot on the back of his head) then trying to talk to him
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Old 21st September 2013, 12:16 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
You are young and as much as you love her it's good that you can see that there's a real good possibility there's gonna be a divorce.

Not all forgive and not all are worth fighting for. Your wife is broken inside, and extremely selfish. She turned your world upside down, all for what? The bad boy! Well, her loss.
Divorce is going to happen 100% sure of that(not going to lie i am going to miss her but she gotta go)
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Old 21st September 2013, 12:18 AM   #13
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Divorce is going to happen 100% sure of that(not going to lie i am going to miss her but she gotta go)
i hear ya, best of luck
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Old 21st September 2013, 12:25 AM   #14
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Wow that's horrible. I can't imagine how traumatizing it must have been walking in on that. When you initially gave her the second chance she blew once again, how were you able to still look her in the eyes after what you saw?
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Old 21st September 2013, 2:06 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
About 6 months ago I caught my bestfriend and wife in bed together I lost it and ww3 happen I kicked his ass and kicked her ass out.It took some time but I forgave her and everything was getting back on track until I finds out she still is in contact with him when I told her no contact.i packed her bags and kicked her out.now is crying and begging me to give her another chance.

Background
Me 24
Her 23

Him and me has been friends since the age of 3


Me:College graduate
Him:Highschool Dropout

Me:Own my House
Him:still staying with parents

Me:No heavy drugs just a pot smoker
Him:coke head

Me:Never Cheated
Him:serial cheater

Me:about a million in the bank and making $175,000 a year
Him:No job and no set goals

PS.

I paid for everything while she sat home and screwed my Ex-best friend

Think god I was smart enough to get her to sign a prenup she gets nothing her safety net is gone.
Bravo! I salute you for handling this well. I learned my lesson twice not to give a second chance to a cheater. Once you forgave her you just told her it's alright to cheat you again.
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