lemonysnickets Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Yesterday I called home from work to ask my wife if she could meet at work so that we could go for lunch. finally answered the phone after the phone rang at least a dozen times, I then asked if we could meet up at a nice steak house her favorite place, " I'm already eating"! By her voice she had something in her mouth, thought that I might make her hungry talking about the meat " I've already got meat in my mouth", swear that I heard a popping sound. I questioned her about that sound her response was it that its a bottle of wine. Yes we do have wine, we collect it. Feeling down and rejected I ended the conversation by hanging up hoping that my W would call back, she didn't and I went to lunch by myself. However I just couldn't enjoy it, kept thinking when did we buy meat usually we go to the butcher once every two weeks last I knew there wasn't meat in the fridge which is why I planned the lunch break. Upon arrival at home I checked both garbage bins outside and in the house including the recycling bin but there wasn't any empty bottles, looked in the fridge checked everywhere and NO wine bottle. Then questioned her about the wine bottle that she opened while on the phone talking to me. W said that it was just a joke and further got angry that I didn't bring home a doggie bag from the restaurant for her to eat. I felt guilty for not bringing home something from the restaurant. Yet there was no meat in the house, and I'm going bizerk, am I just imagining things? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 She never stated that she was home to eat... Oops, I see you called the house. Could she have forwarded the calls - and been out to eat at a restaurant? Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) Most people end up here because their gut is screaming at them. Sadly, most of us have learned to trust our gut. Your best bet is to keep your mouth shut and investigate. Confronting them with weak or no proof just gives them a heads up to either take a break untill the dust settles or to take it further underground. Check phone/text records. Compare them to her phone if possible. Look at her internet history. Check financial records. These things usually will tell you if you need to dig further (with voice activated recorders, GPS, PIs and so forth). Edited September 18, 2013 by BetrayedH 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonysnickets Posted September 18, 2013 Author Share Posted September 18, 2013 Our phone doesn't have call forwarding, and there is only one car which I had. Even asked her if she left the house the answer was no! Link to post Share on other sites
Mickey_Fitzpatrick Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Why don't you just ask her about where is the meat? What makes you think she might be cheating on you (you are posting on an infidelity forum)? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonysnickets Posted September 18, 2013 Author Share Posted September 18, 2013 A couple of reasons why I think she's cheating. First is her mail order business twice a wk fedex drops by the house to ship of the merchandise. You don't have to be gay to say that the fedex guy is good looking! Secondly loves to give bj's that is until we married now there's no oral sex as sick as this sounds it makes me wonder who getting the bj's? When I asked her about the meat she responded angerly " get over it!" started bitching about how selfish I am for not bringing home food. Then went into our room and slammed the door shut. I wanna give the benefit of the doubt how to I confront her? Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 You don't confront her until you have proof. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonysnickets Posted September 19, 2013 Author Share Posted September 19, 2013 Ok I've checked the computer and it was clean, except her cellphone which she carries with her everywhere.what can I do next? This is mustering every bit of masculine humility that I've got, but I gotta say it I suspect that she's a prostitute. Why b/c she smokes pot where we live its pricy almost our entire salary goes to pay of our home and car what little money that is left over goes for groceries, utilities, no I don't smoke. Yet she tokes up everyday WHERE'S the money coming from? Before we dated I heard that during a family and friends barbeque she'd get a phone call and immediately up and leave without an explanation whats that all about? Apparently before we dated and married she did that alot. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 Ok, I have to say that post was a bit bizarre. I'm not sure how you connect pot with prostitution. No matter where you live, pot isn't THAT expensive. Moving on...Do you have access to her cell phone bill? Or to her cell phone? Look for texts, frequent numbers, deleted texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonysnickets Posted September 19, 2013 Author Share Posted September 19, 2013 Ok BH I've no idea about pots prices... lets say that pots costs $1500 a mn b/c she smokes 5-6 joints a day her online sales make her about $900- 1200 a mn. Credit cards are maxed out right now we live check to check. thats why I'm wondering where the money is coming from. Lets forget the bud! Right now there is a big hole in our budget money is going for needs that we don't have money to meet. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 I'll forgo having a lengthy conversation about pot except to say that if she spent $1500 a month on pot, that's about a half pound (which would be an INSANE amount for one recreational user). Still, if she's smoking 5-6 joints day (which sounds pretty excessive and perhaps its own concern), she's probably spending a couple hundred bucks a month that you don't have. I hear you. The fact is that many affairs are discovered by looking closely at financials. Money is often spent on gifts, hotels, secret phones, and so forth. But most can hide that stuff well enough. Electronics are the usual give-away. Follow-up on the other things I mentioned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonysnickets Posted September 19, 2013 Author Share Posted September 19, 2013 I agree with you don't confront until you have proof! I'm learning not to over stretch my posts, so let me put it this way is it possible to get things while being at a house party? If a guy gives a woman a gift wouldn't he expect something from her especially if its continuous? Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 I agree with you don't confront until you have proof! I'm learning not to over stretch my posts, so let me put it this way is it possible to get things while being at a house party? If a guy gives a woman a gift wouldn't he expect something from her especially if its continuous? Sorry, your post was a little vague. Who is this guy? Why did he give her a gift? What was the gift? What did you mean by continuous? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonysnickets Posted September 19, 2013 Author Share Posted September 19, 2013 (edited) As you see I give my W space and trust, W has male friend actually she gotta a few male friends not to many but probably at least 6. 6 mns ago a male friend of hers brought another friend over to our house... a couple of beers a few steaks nothing outta the ordinary. About a wk later they all met up again at a bar with the new guy, then every mn the new guy throws a party at his place we all go. The new guy smokes bud, by his own words and what I've seen at his place. Giving doesn't come by easy for him, its common where I'm from for people to lit up and pass it around but he rarely passes it around except to my wife. Towards the end of the party W thanks him and he threw her a few joints later learned that he shows up at other house parties that W goes to and that he has given her freebies (bud). Dunno know if its just him or others that give her bud? bothers me a little who'd give bud for free? Edited September 19, 2013 by lemonysnickets clarification Link to post Share on other sites
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