i thought i knew him, i obviously didn't

[rainbow12345]

i recently found out that my husband cheated on me while i was pregnant with our 4th child, the pregnancy ended really badly the baby was still born at 24 weeks, (i didn't find out until after i'd given birth that he had cheated) a week later he leaves me, when i needed him the most he walked out on me and our 3 other children. its gets worse the person he cheated with was his sisters so called best friend, someone he'd known from childhood. half of his family knew and never told me, i don't talk to them at the moment, i feel having been in their family for 15 years it felt like an utter betrayal by them from keeping it from me. worse still his gave me chlamydia and i am unable to have anymore children due to it being untreated for so long.

 

unbelievably i still love the b**tard. but i cant forget nor can i ever forgive what he did, how do i ever possibly move on from this ??? i'm heart broken for the loss of my baby and for the loss of marriage. it feels like most of my life has just been one big lie. i just can't see a way forward

[underwater2010]

I am so sorry for your loss of a baby. I am tearing up just reading this.

 

But good riddance to that POS man you called a husband. Any man that walks during his wife's time of trouble is less than scum.

 

HUGS!!!

[krazikat]

i recently found out that my husband cheated on me while i was pregnant with our 4th child, the pregnancy ended really badly the baby was still born at 24 weeks, (i didn't find out until after i'd given birth that he had cheated) a week later he leaves me, when i needed him the most he walked out on me and our 3 other children. its gets worse the person he cheated with was his sisters so called best friend, someone he'd known from childhood. half of his family knew and never told me, i don't talk to them at the moment, i feel having been in their family for 15 years it felt like an utter betrayal by them from keeping it from me. worse still his gave me chlamydia and i am unable to have anymore children due to it being untreated for so long.

 

unbelievably i still love the b**tard. but i cant forget nor can i ever forgive what he did, how do i ever possibly move on from this ??? i'm heart broken for the loss of my baby and for the loss of marriage. it feels like most of my life has just been one big lie. i just can't see a way forward

 

Rainbow, I am so very sorry that you are going thru this. The ws does so much emotional harm when they have an a, and to find out others in the family, basically your family, knew this was going on and never did anything must feel so terrible. And so sorry for the loss of your child.

 

I think the first thing you should do is keep away from his family and him, and get individual counsiling to help you not only deal with the affair but also the loss of your baby. Did the clap he gave you have any effect on the pregnancy? I hate asking that, but just something you can explore if you dont know yet.

 

Do you have close friends and/or family that you can have around you to help you with not only yourself (affair emotions with just an affair is devastating enough, so adding the additional issues, you need some time to do you) also, spend time with your children. Let them know in an age approriate way what has happened.

 

Dont blame yourself...even still loving him now is part of the process, it cant just be turned off...but do realize this is all HIM, and it says alot about him and any collusive family members, none of it good, about their character and integrity. I wish there was something I could say to help you more than what I have, but seriously, take care of you, love those kids, surround yourself with love, you deserve so much better than this.