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Drunk Sister in law gave me a handjob, I feel guilty but should I tell my wife?


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Old 5th August 2012, 1:22 AM   #1
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Drunk Sister in law gave me a handjob, I feel guilty but should I tell my wife?

I am really embarrassed to be here. I am 28 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years now. She is 29. We get along well and there really are no problems. My wife just spends too much money sometimes and does not earn as much as I like her to earn but that is not that big of an issue.

My sister in law (wife's sister) is 19 years old and is living with us from now till she graduates from college. She moved in 2 months ago and has always been really nice and I guess sometimes flirty with me. About 3 weeks ago when my wife was at her night shift, my wife's sister and I were watching tv after dinner and some drinks when this happened.

basically, my wife was angry that someone had scratched the side of her new Honda. My wife thought it was me since I was the last one to use it and she yelled at me. I wasn't sure if the scratch was from me so did not say anything. while on the couch, my sis in law told me thanks for taking the blame. i joked and said no problem i will keep it a secret. she was already a little tipsy i guess because she then said and keep this a secret too. she had reached into my basketball shorts and started touching my privates. i was surprised but turned on. i did tell her to stop once cause i thought she was joking but she just giggled and finished. i did not physically try to stop her because shamefully i liked the feeling. my sis in law is very pretty.

i felt guilty but my sis in law said that it was not a big deal. i can't eat or sleep properly. when my sis in law and wife talk, i am scared the truth will come out. it is cheating right? I would not want my wife getting a hand job from a guy. my sis in law is also dressing kind of ******* now that I notice it. she still jokes around with me and spends time with me. she interacts fine with her sister. i pulled her aside last week and told her what should we do and she said that these things happen and not to make a big deal out of it.

what should i do? i love my wife and will never even think of another woman again. i don't want her to leave me and my sis in law can't afford to live elsewhere. i really messed up.
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Old 5th August 2012, 1:24 AM   #2
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Or you could just keep it a secret. Then one day when the girls have a big fight the SIL can throw it in your wifes face as the end all be all argument winner. That should go over well.

Dude you're screwed. Take the bull by the horns and own this.
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Old 5th August 2012, 1:26 AM   #3
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i don't understand why would she throw it in her face?
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Old 5th August 2012, 1:29 AM   #4
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Dude you're screwed. Take the bull by the horns and own this.
^^This pretty much sums it up.
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Old 5th August 2012, 1:32 AM   #5
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SIL needs to find another place to live. Why can't she go live with a friend?

Tell your wife before your SIL tells her you came onto her and forced yourself on her. Never say never.. This SIL doesn't feel bad about what happened so that's dangerous! She doesn't understand the betrayal, let alone DOUBLE betrayal.

Own it and tell your wife the truth. It's too bad you didn't have the courage to tell SIL to stop more than once and get up and leave the room.

Fallout is gonna be big.
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Old 5th August 2012, 1:45 AM   #6
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i don't understand why would she throw it in her face?
Because she's a piece of $hit. She scratched her sisters car and sat there like a weasel dodging responsibility... ok pretty bad. A sign of poor character thats for sure. But wait folks there's MORE! For the low price of a dirty handshake she BUYS your silence. It's like the way gangs initiate the new members by making them commit a horendous crime. You are now in bed with a crook. Your sister in law is a dirty dirty girl. What makes you think she would be above throwing this all in her sisters face the moment it suits her purpose?

There is also a pretty weird dynamic between those girls. It's, at the very least, safe to say they DO NOT have a good relationship. I think you are about to get a nice front row seat as you see it all play out real soon.

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Old 5th August 2012, 1:50 AM   #7
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Because she's a pice of $hit. She scratched her sisters car and sat there like a weasel dodging responsibility... ok pretty bad. A sign of poor character thats for sure. But wait folks there's MORE! For the low price of a dirty handshake she BUYS your silence. It's like the way gangs initiate the new members by making them commit a horendous crime. You are now in bed with a crook. Your sister in law is a dirty dirty girl. What makes you think she would be above throwing this all in her sisters face the moment it suits her purpose?

There is also a pretty weird dynamic between those girls. I think you are about to get a nice front row seat as you see it all play out real soon.
i guess that is true. my sis in law has always been jealous of my wife. they do fight frequently. one time it led to some pushing and hair pulling before i broke it up but my wife loves her little sister so much. she does everything for her including buying her new clothes, washing her clothes, and cooking for her. i hope my sis in law won't sink so low as to rub it in her face. maybe i should talk to her about this tomorrow and make her promise not to do it.
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Old 5th August 2012, 1:57 AM   #8
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gmerty, there is another aspect to this I would like you to consider. Right now you feel like the sister commited the bigger crime here... I mean all you did was just not resist enough right? I'll bet you think the blame is more like 90% sister and 10% you for not stopping it. WRONG!!

When this comes out, It's not even gonna be 50/50. WHAT?!? How!??! All the sister has to say is "He's the dirt ball that let me do it. He wanted it. You should thank me for exposing your slimy husband for the cheat he is."

The girl betrayed her sister. Is nothing sacred? When it's time to burn you, she will.
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Old 5th August 2012, 2:02 AM   #9
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i guess that is true. my sis in law has always been jealous of my wife. they do fight frequently. one time it led to some pushing and hair pulling before i broke it up but my wife loves her little sister so much. she does everything for her including buying her new clothes, washing her clothes, and cooking for her. i hope my sis in law won't sink so low as to rub it in her face. maybe i should talk to her about this tomorrow and make her promise not to do it.
Yeah and now she scratched her sisters car - You took the blame for it (hello enabler) and then you let her jerk you off. She has you by the balls..

She couldn't give a shi.t about her sister. The fact that she (and you) opened your home to her and this is her way of thanking her sister? WTF.

Since you say she's jealous of her sister, messing with you IS messing with her sister. She might as well as peed on her sis's pillow. You watch, next thing little sis will want to do is take you up to her big sis's marital bed and push to have sex with you.
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Old 5th August 2012, 2:04 AM   #10
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she does everything for her including buying her new clothes, washing her clothes, and cooking for her
So you both enable her in two different ways. No wonder she is the way she is. Everybody does everything for her .. AND, she gets to drive her sisters car, scratch it and not own up to it, BIL (you) are there to protect her! She's had no consquences.. Probably never in her life either. I bet her parents did it all for her too.

Someone needs to grow up!

DO talk to your wife before she does. If you don't your household is going to turn into WWWIII!
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Old 5th August 2012, 2:07 AM   #11
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Tell the truth to your wife!

The enemy for your M is living in your home!

Own how YOU participated - YOU didn't stop it! TRYING to stop it isn't enough - because it happened.

Next up is being sound asleep and waking up to her riding you! She's not deserving of being in YOUR home! She needs to move immediately - unless you plan to ha e this mess end your marriage by NOT throwing her out.

And stop drinking if this is what happens whe. YOU drink!

Tell your W and she will see just how much damage her sister is causing in her home.

And I don't care how mad you are at your W - instead of justifying YOUR bad behavior - why don't you try TALKING to YOUR WIFE about what upsets you?

You and your wife have a lot to learn about boundaries in your own home - obviously first on the list is that YOU aren't to be trusted alone with any other woman.

The SIL moves immediately - who cares where she goes - she broke trust the minute she laid her dirty hands on you!

Tell your wife - she has every right to know what a douche her sister really is!
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Old 5th August 2012, 2:09 AM   #12
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You're probably a goner One way or the other but your only shot is to talk up your w.

Seriously, I'd throw you down the street so fast that your ass would leave skid marks.

A sister? That's just too dumb.
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Old 5th August 2012, 2:14 AM   #13
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Yeah and now she scratched her sisters car - You took the blame for it (hello enabler) and then you let her jerk you off. She has you by the balls..

She couldn't give a shi.t about her sister. The fact that she (and you) opened your home to her and this is her way of thanking her sister? WTF.

Since you say she's jealous of her sister, messing with you IS messing with her sister. She might as well as peed on her sis's pillow. You watch, next thing little sis will want to do is take you up to her big sis's marital bed and push to have sex with you.
This.

She has gradually groomed you into her accomplice against her sister, your wife. She has inserted herself into your life and into your marriage. She doesn't care about you. She just cares about one-upping her sister, the power she has over you and over your wife, her sister. For God's sake, she's 19 and you are nearly a decade older.

She needs to go. You need to come clean about why. And your wife needs to deal with her toxic sister who has no one's interests at heart other than her own. Be prepared to take some of the blame and the consequences. Otherwise, you will end up allowing this to continue and to turn into a full blown affair. The fallout will be even bigger and the risk of losing your wife will be even greater.

Either talk to your wife at home when the SIL is guaranteed to be away for at least a few hours or meet outside of the home. The best case scenario is that your wife gets very upset but appreciates your honesty. After she calms down, you can both make a plan to remove the SIL from your lives.
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Old 5th August 2012, 2:19 AM   #14
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The fact that you're finding faults in your wife interspersed with your story makes me not believe your version.

If youre mad at YOUR WIFE for something - it NEVER gives you the right to have physical, intimate contact with another gal - especially her SISTER!

You and her sister are just so low... And then to find things to say negatively about YOUR WIFE in the same paragraph is despicable! Come on man - that's just not right!

You did this - own it - I'm not even trusting your story - my gut says YOU participated on a much bigger level with her SIL that having her give you a handjob.
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Old 5th August 2012, 2:23 AM   #15
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i don't understand why would she throw it in her face?
Oh yeah, that sister-in-law is so trustworthy.
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