Thanks

[MammaMia]

Even though I have not posted in a long time, I do read posts.

 

Things are going well between H and I. I do have my moments when triggers come from nowhere but I keep my mouth shut because I believe in what a quote says: " do not spur a willing horse."

I take no bull..... from him and put him in his place if he snaps at me. He does not do it often but he, too, has got his moments.

 

I want to thank this forum and esp. Spark111 and Findingnemo for their great input and advice. Thanks you all but esp. these two members.

I wish all of you good luck.

[nofool4u]

You ought to have a petition for dissolution of marriage written up from an attorney, but no date associated with it, and keep a copy of it. That way if he ever acts up and thinks you should just get over anything, you can show him a copy of the petition and remind him that all you need to do is have your attorney put a date and signature on it, and it will be in the works.

[GLDheart]

You ought to have a petition for dissolution of marriage written up from an attorney, but no date associated with it.

 

 

That's good advice... But I'm not sure if constantly holding a figurative gun to his head is healthy for the long term.

[nofool4u]

I know, it was more of a "wouldn't it be nice if you could do this" sort of thing.

 

I wouldn't really suggest that unless her H is such a gaslighing jackass that he relentlessly tries to point the finger at her.

 

And in that case I wouldn't suggest having a petition drawn up just to let him know its only a date and signature away, I'd have it dated, signed, and sent to the court.

[MammaMia]

H has not pointed the finger at me. After Dday he got angry at me for disrupting his extra curriculum activities, but he never pointed the finger at me. He took responsibility and even called himself "an idiot."( no argument here)

 

But since Dday I have grown wiser. I have a plan B, if - and I repeat IF- history repeats itself.

[nofool4u]

Then what was it after dday that he "snapped" at you about? I know you mentioned extracurriculars being interrupted, but is he still angry about getting caught?

[MammaMia]

You take everything out of context. It may help if you go back and read my old posts.

 

After dday he was still in the fog as are many wayward spoues. It took him a while to get out of it.

He snapped at me during the EA and did for some time after Dday.

With " extra curriculum activities " I meant his EA. The term was sarcastically speaking. Nothing more and nothing less was meant.

 

I hope this explains everything.

[nofool4u]

You take everything out of context. It may help if you go back and read my old posts.

 

I'm not taking anything out of context. I'm asking you a question.

 

After dday he was still in the fog as are many wayward spoues. It took him a while to get out of it.

He snapped at me during the EA and did for some time after Dday.

With " extra curriculum activities " I meant his EA.

 

I knew exactly what you meant. You stopped him from having his fun. Therefore, nothing out of context.

He got mad that he was caught, which is what I said. And that is because being caught stopped him from having his little fun.

[2sure]

A plan B is always an important thing to have in life. Things change, people divorce, die, lose jobs...

 

A Plan B, regardless of your reason for forming it, puts a person in a much much better frame of mind to make decisions if the worst happens.

 

It eliminates some of the anxiety that is part of reconciliation and divorce.

[Spark1111]

Even though I have not posted in a long time, I do read posts.

 

Things are going well between H and I. I do have my moments when triggers come from nowhere but I keep my mouth shut because I believe in what a quote says: " do not spur a willing horse."

I take no bull..... from him and put him in his place if he snaps at me. He does not do it often but he, too, has got his moments.

 

I want to thank this forum and esp. Spark111 and Findingnemo for their great input and advice. Thanks you all but esp. these two members.

I wish all of you good luck.

 

I am so happy you were able to put humpty dumpty back together again! It is no easy feat and not everyone can do this, either long-term or succesfully.

 

I wish you and your H success in your future. I am glad to have been of some help to you.

 

Thank you for the thank you. That meant a lot to me.