Husband friends wife went to far

[yosetwife]

I am very up set and can't trust my husband w/his friends new wife! I found out she started calling my husband when I was not around or his best friend (her future husband) was not around and never said anything to either one of us.

 

Well things got worse. My husband lost his job and they would talk about 20 times a day without saying anything to either me or his friend about this relationship they had.

 

Let me paint the picture for you she thinks she is the sexy, the smart person, in the room. She would come downstairs in just a long shirt infornt of my husband and even infront of her kids walking around with a thong on thinking nothing of it.

 

Well when i caught on i was really upset and told them i did not want them to be talking to each other in that way. If it was nothing then why did they never said they talked all the time!!!

 

Well she said she would stop - she was just helping him through a tough time. If that was the case then why did she tell him i was cheating on him. When I was working two jobs to make up the money we were losing because he was on the phone all day doing nothing. The worse part of this is they would talk about personal things in each of our relationships. I don't think my hubby's best friend would like to know that she told him about their sex life.

 

Why would you talk about sex!! If it was just helping him get threw a though time. Why would my husband care about their sex life unless that what they were doing having phone sex

 

She caused be to almost throw him out of the house. Then she said she would not call him anymore. Well she didn't even hang up with my and was on the phone with him telling him she told me she would stop but would tell me that they still would talk.

 

Well i found out and made him make a choice!!! well we are still together...Still somewhat of friends .

 

But now we already had vacation plans from last year all booked and paid for. Which is coming up soon!!!

 

Well guess what she called him again at work for a really stupid question? And she was shocked when I question her on it first she played dumb which is not to heard for her.

 

Is it me or do you think she's up to something. But it gets better during this whole time i was trying to get pregenant well im 22 weeks pg.

 

I need help!! Should i confront her again? I just can't trust them together !!!

[HokeyReligions]

I am very up set and can't trust my husband

 

This other woman aside, it sounds like what you need to work on is trust with your husband.

 

Saying Don't and Can't is giving ultimatums and not really communicating. I don't know anyone that responds well to those things.

 

Perhaps some marriage counseling will help you both. Do you have an EAP through one of your jobs? Maybe a church or local charity like the United Way can help you find a counselor that is low- or no-cost to you.

[Reckless]

Confront her?! Who are you married to? If I understand it right you are upset that your husband is spending a disproportionate amount of time talking on the phone about sexual matters with another woman. This is hurting you, making you feel insecure, betrayed and you really don't like it. You're not married to her, so don't confront her, 'confront' your husband.

 

Don't really like the 'confront' thing actually - rather just sit down and explain (try and stay calm, no one likes to be accused or attacked) that this is making you unhappy and see how your husband reacts. His utmost concern should be for his family, he should care that you feel his relationship with this girl is a threat to your union and destroying your peace of mind. If he doesn't you both have bigger problems than the occational (20 times a day?) phone call.

 

How she dresses in her own home is her business, I'm not saying she doesn't lack respect for you, her children or herself but she has the right to walk about buck naked if she likes, you cannot control how she behaves you can only decide, as a couple if you want to keep going round to see her and her g-string.

 

Does he secretly find her attentions flattering? Does he see that he may be putting his friendship in danger? Is he feeling a bit freaked with the new baby on the way and no Job? Does he feel he cannot talk to you? I'm not saying there is anything going on between these two or 'excusing' his behavior but all friendships must operate within boundaries, you don't set them your husband does, in taking into consideration his friend and most of all his wife. You might like to gently remind him of this.

 

Blaming, laming and attacking is not going to do it. You're upset, wait a bit and when you are calmer see what you can do to help each other through the 'tough times' if you are solid as a couple, if your husband doesn't want you to feel hurt or betrayed, if he'd rather talk to you than anyone else, then who cares what she's up to, this other woman will become irrelevant.

[Bryanp]

You can't be serious. First thing is to contact her boyfriend and tell him everything. The second thing is to break up the friendship.

She is determined to destroy your marriage. Why are you so blind to this and why on earth would you still wish to be friends with someone who is hurting your marriage like this?