Why I don't Trust any of her words?

[meditation1]

I am a newly married 33 Years old, 8 months ago, I loved and still loving my wife, she loves me as well. We get married, we had a good sexual life, we used to sleep embracing each other for the whole night...

 

However, after a period of time we had some debates... and it seems to me, for some very ridiculous and stupid reasons...

 

I was getting angry with her for any stupid reason...I told her I guess, I don'l love her...and may be this is the reason why I am getting angry with her for any reason...

 

I had some doubts that she knows someone on the net, and she of couse denied. Each time we had such discussions...and after crying...for a period of time...telling me that she loves me...and so and so...I don't know why, when I look to her, I have the feeling that nothing of what she is saying to me is true... I don't trust, I do not believe any of her words...WHY????

 

Anything wrong with me or with her??

[Tony T]

I don't fully understand your post. Are you getting angry because you are suspicious she is flirting with or meeting men on the Internet?

 

It is rather irrational to get angry for "stupid reasons" as you say. Perhaps you need counselling to get to the root of your problem. You may be going through a period where you are easily irritiable. Are you under a lot of stress.

 

What proof do you have that your wife is talking to men on the net?

 

There is simply no way were cantell what's wrong here. You and your wife should immediately seek professional counselling to get to the bottom of this problem. Do it before it's too late.

 

If you don't believe your wife anymore....and you don't trust her....this is a very critical situation that MUST be dealt with immediately.

[witchbreed]

A lot of people say that trust is the foundation of a relationsship, but some people need time to start trusting, often because of old hurts. I guess you will have to work on it. Being distrustful is often a sign of insecurity, founded or unfounded.

 

Then there is differences between women and men. Women sometimes flirt, without having any emotional or sexual feelings for the flirting "partner", its just a way to boost a low self-esteem. If they desire me, I am good enough for my own hubby kind of thing. Men on the other hand, usually flirt when the have a sexual agenda.

 

So you can get hurt by your gf flirting (on the net or in person) for the very wrong reasons, thinking that she fancies them and she on the other hand might just be in need of a boost in self esteem. My bf and I had issues about this - and sad to say, even though this happened in the very beginning of our rl - and nothing ever really happened and I never even fanciesd anybody besides him - when he is feeling low now, he still brings it up and cant bring himself to believe me. This mistrust hurts like hell, but we are still working on it.

 

Try not to accuse her of doing anything wrong, but do tell her, how you are feeling about it. Tell her about your hurt, your insecurity, your fears. Both of you will have to make an effort though.

 

Best of luck.

[lilfrustrated]

First of all, I don't see anything wrong with your wife having a male friend. I would hope she is being honest when she says she loves you and is not interested in her male friend in any other way than just friends.

 

When men cannot allow their w/gf to have innocent male friends, that is just their own insecurities and they have to seek help to deal with that. Friends for either partner don't have to be gender specific.

 

I have a good male friend that I work with and we are strictly FRIENDS, he is in a happy and healthy relationship. My partner is not happy with my friendship, but it is striclty on a friends only basis. We like each other as who we are, no different than if I were to make friends with a female. My choice to befriend her would be on the basis of who she is.

 

Perhaps you could go on line with your partner when she is chatting with her male friend and become friends/acquaintances with that person as well. It may help in your insecurities.

 

Hope I was of some help.

[Just A Girl2]

Maybe I misunderstood what you were trying to explain, but I'm just wondering WHY you'd told your wife that you didn't love her? You started your post out by saying you DID love her, then you admit that at some point there, you told her you didn't. So which is it?

 

Why did you tell her you didn't love her? Was it out of anger? Did you mean it? Did you say it because you don't trust her and you were hurting? You've only been married a very short time........to tell your partner you don't love them, that's big stuff. What's up with that?

 

And what makes you think she's communicating with someone online? Do you have actual reason to suspect this? How did the 2 of you initially meet, online?

 

How long had you both dated BEFORE you got married?

 

Did you trust her BEFORE you both got married? So these feelings of mistrust have occured SINCE being married? Is it just a 'gut feeling' or do you have some concrete reasons for mistrusting her? (sorry but your post is kind of vague)