young Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 we started out by being friends, then had a 5 month almost affair (not consumated) and then we worked together off and on for the next three years, being sort of friends, with him putting up a big wall, but periodically it comes down with me just acting like a good friend....i love him,,,,,any advice out there. we are both married.....i know he cares and so do i,..... Link to post Share on other sites
young Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 we started out by being friends, then had a 5 month almost affair (not consumated) and then we worked together off and on for the next three years, being sort of friends, with him putting up a big wall, but periodically it comes down with me just acting like a good friend....i love him,,,,,any advice out there. we are both married.....i know he cares and so do i,..... also, he is the one who always calls me and connects and finds some way to see me or talk with me.....HELP Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 Taking this anywhere else will result in major heartbreak for the both of you. If you aren't fulfilled in your marriage, get a divorce. You may be responding to this situation because of loneliness, vulnerability, etc. If you aren't happy in your marriage, get out of it and give yourself time to sort your life out. Then look for a healthy relationship with somebody who's not married and who is available. You are sitting on a keg of dynamite here. Stay away from this guy and don't get involved...in any way. You'll be majorly sorry at the damage it could cause. Yeah, you love him...but I'm sure you loved your husband too at one time. Take this whole thing more seriously and work towards achieving a meaningful, stable relationship with someone. What you are doing now is NOT the way to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Rachel Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 Move on.... get a bit of counseling.... some women and men always want what they cant' have.... that's always much more enticing. Try to see what the issues are in your own marriage and fix those. Get a new job. we started out by being friends, then had a 5 month almost affair (not consumated) and then we worked together off and on for the next three years, being sort of friends, with him putting up a big wall, but periodically it comes down with me just acting like a good friend....i love him,,,,,any advice out there. we are both married.....i know he cares and so do i,..... Link to post Share on other sites
young Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 Need more feedback!!! Need to know if i am not so available to him, if he will feel what is like to have me around? Link to post Share on other sites
young Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 Help!!!!!!!! Need to know if i am not so available to him, if he will feel what is like to have me around? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 Who knows...try it and see. It's worth a try. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted March 14, 2002 Share Posted March 14, 2002 That wall that comes down! Is for work realted reasons. You both have to get along, you both have to talk sometimes right? So maybe you both secretly want each other everytime your within eyeshot. The best thing to do, is to do nothing. Im sure you will keep telling yourself you want him, but the longer you hold out on your desires the better you will feel and than thank yourself down the road. This kind of process can take a couple years. If you cant hang, look for other work. Though, I get this feeling you wouldnt dare give up your job for another because theres a hotty at work! Theres a man I work with and alot of times when he walks into the room, I wish he could read my mind. You can do it, your strong, stronger than you think and as the time goes by, trust me it gets easier to cope with until it know longer enters your mind. Of course this is not how you feel now, and you wonder when these feelings will die, trust me, trust yourself. Be strong, and remember these are false feelings, that just feel so right! we started out by being friends, then had a 5 month almost affair (not consumated) and then we worked together off and on for the next three years, being sort of friends, with him putting up a big wall, but periodically it comes down with me just acting like a good friend....i love him,,,,,any advice out there. we are both married.....i know he cares and so do i,..... Link to post Share on other sites
young Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 ok, this platonic relationship is going along and now I am separated from my h usband (we've had troubles for a long time) and now this man invites me to lunch near where i am staying. then he calls me after with some news. then i call him back and told him something nice and it seems like he didn't know why i said it or why he deserved that comment....what do you think out there.... Link to post Share on other sites
young Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 Who knows...try it and see. It's worth a try. Tony, hello out there.....well, he called me again this morning and asked if i wanted to meet him for lunch at a restaurant nearby me (an hour from him) and we had a great lunch and then he called me when he got home to tell me some good news about his health....i called him back and told him he was a classy guy and the wondered what he did to deserve me saying that and i said, i don't know..just because you are you...then we quickly said a few other things and got off the phone.....what do you think?????? Link to post Share on other sites
young Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 look under platonic relationships for the new message from me someone out there posted yesterday............need some help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 I think you've gotten a lot of excellent responses. I never, ever take anybody step by step through every issue they have in life. That makes cripples of people. If you haven't yet gotten to the point where you can handle situations with some measure of skill after being given a bit of initial advice, you aren't yet ready for those experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
young Posted March 15, 2002 Share Posted March 15, 2002 I think you've gotten a lot of excellent responses. I never, ever take anybody step by step through every issue they have in life. That makes cripples of people. If you haven't yet gotten to the point where you can handle situations with some measure of skill after being given a bit of initial advice, you aren't yet ready for those experiences. Tony, what the heck?!?!?! just asking an opinion, not a way of dealing with it.......this has been the first "situation" i have encountered with this guy in weeks...that amounts to anything face to face...just wondering how a man views this....... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 16, 2002 Share Posted March 16, 2002 ...your not liking the opinions posted in your post below. You're wanting people to encourage you to go for it. Actually, your post got as many if not more responses than most. Good luck in whatever you do. Link to post Share on other sites
young Posted March 16, 2002 Share Posted March 16, 2002 ...your not liking the opinions posted in your post below. You're wanting people to encourage you to go for it. Actually, your post got as many if not more responses than most. Good luck in whatever you do. not all tony, you read it wrong....was just asking an opinion about the latest happening...have actually received NO responses on that, only your non response!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 16, 2002 Share Posted March 16, 2002 What do I think...well, I think the two of you are two sneaky little devils enjoying an affair of sorts behind the backs of your spouses. That's about it. Have lots of fun. I can understand you're wanting to share this with somebody and you can't really talk about it with people close to you because of the nature of what's going on. But I can tell you that most people who visit this forum to not support cheating, etc. However, they do not condemn people for doing it or for having fun with it. Most people just don't want to comment much. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 16, 2002 Share Posted March 16, 2002 and I'll repeat it here. I understand you want to use this board to share the happenings between the two of you. It sounds like you're having a sweet time with each other. But, as I said below, you'll find that most people who come by here do not support extramarital affairs or activities. That's why not many people are willing to comment a whole lot. Your latest post does not ask for advice of any kind but rather calls for comments. I am very sorry that your marriage is insufficiently fulfilling for you and that you are not single and totally free to pursue this man out in the open. Sad that he is unhappily married also with no intentions of leaving his wife. It's all just so sad...but I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. I promise you, I do understand. I'm not condemning you at all, just feeling sorry these things happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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