The cost of the affair

[twice_shy]

I would like to ask betrayed spouses here if just before your spouse chose to enter an affair' date=' were you loving and honoring him/her in the same manner as you vowed to do on your wedding day?[/quote']

 

Yes, I did. I was always trying to initiate affection. I even stayed home with the kids while she went out..thinking I was doing a good thing by letting her blow off steam.

 

I'm sure you and everyone else will say that I had to cause her cheating somehow and won't believe me, and I could care less.

 

I'm sure there are cases of neglect in marriage. Not doubting that at all. But it seems to be in the cheaters mind to appease guilt or to deflect blame that the person they cheated on somehow is responsible for it. Whatever helps them justify what they did I guess.

[taylor]

I will never understand why people don't just walk away when things become irreconcilable. In allowing themselves to be weak' date=' they end up in affairs that do nothing for their self-esteem,[/b'] when D-day or reality strikes. Can't people think ahead to consequences? No one could be this dense.

 

 

I think it is difficult sometimes for weak people with low self-esteem to find strength to just walk away. In an earlier post on this thread you even told the OP she needed to "find strength" in order to walk away. It has nothing to do with a person being dense.

 

Not everyone has the fortitude to walk out, file for divorce, find a means of supporting themselves, set up housekeeping in a new,strange place and solve all the problems and face all the challenges of line on their own. They lack confidence to handle the uphill battle alone. Sometimes they fear an uncertain future, especially being alone and being able to take care of themselves.

 

I don't thing people "allow" themselves to be weak. I think in many cases their strength slowly erode over time in a troubled marriage. They spend so much time focusing on coping with the problems in the marriage and hanging on to hope that the marriage will somehow turn around, they lose themselves - their self-esteem, will power, strength and stamina. Then they realize they are not the same person they were before they got married...now they are weak, in pain, and confused.

 

Rather than finding the strength and courage to walk away in this vulnerable state, they find it easier and comforting to reach out and grab the hand of someone willling to offer a warm smile, a listening ear, empathy and kind words. This other person takes the pain away, makes them feel good about themselves, and may even make promises to love and care for them like no one else has ever done. The new-found attention and affection becomes too hard to resist.

 

I have a sister-in-law who stayed in a verbally abusive marriage with a husband who drank and did drugs for years. After being told for years that she was "stupid," that she was "nothing," that "she couldn't do anything right," that she'd "never survive on her own without him"...she came to believe this of herself.

 

She stayed in the marriage because she was so damaged by this man she did not believe she could function on her own. She was so paralyzed with doubt and fear she couldn't make a move to leave him.

 

She finally did...but it wasn't until he came home from the bar at 3 a.m., woke her and their two children out of sound sleeps, and chased them down the street with a loaded shotgun, screaming and swearing at them for ruining his life.

 

She never had an affair...but I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. On second thought, thank goodness she did not...her xH probably would have shot both of them dead on D-day.

[Tomcat33]

I think it is difficult sometimes for weak people with low self-esteem to find strength to just walk away. In an earlier post on this thread you even told the OP she needed to "find strength" in order to walk away. It has nothing to do with a person being dense.

 

Not everyone has the fortitude to walk out, file for divorce, find a means of supporting themselves, set up housekeeping in a new,strange place and solve all the problems and face all the challenges of line on their own. They lack confidence to handle the uphill battle alone. Sometimes they fear an uncertain future, especially being alone and being able to take care of themselves.

 

I don't thing people "allow" themselves to be weak. I think in many cases their strength slowly erode over time in a troubled marriage. They spend so much time focusing on coping with the problems in the marriage and hanging on to hope that the marriage will somehow turn around, they lose themselves - their self-esteem, will power, strength and stamina. Then they realize they are not the same person they were before they got married...now they are weak, in pain, and confused.

 

Rather than finding the strength and courage to walk away in this vulnerable state, they find it easier and comforting to reach out and grab the hand of someone willling to offer a warm smile, a listening ear, empathy and kind words. This other person takes the pain away, makes them feel good about themselves, and may even make promises to love and care for them like no one else has ever done. The new-found attention and affection becomes too hard to resist.

 

I have a sister-in-law who stayed in a verbally abusive marriage with a husband who drank and did drugs for years. After being told for years that she was "stupid," that she was "nothing," that "she couldn't do anything right," that she'd "never survive on her own without him"...she came to believe this of herself.

 

She stayed in the marriage because she was so damaged by this man she did not believe she could function on her own. She was so paralyzed with doubt and fear she couldn't make a move to leave him.

 

She finally did...but it wasn't until he came home from the bar at 3 a.m., woke her and their two children out of sound sleeps, and chased them down the street with a loaded shotgun, screaming and swearing at them for ruining his life.

 

She never had an affair...but I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. On second thought, thank goodness she did not...her xH probably would have shot both of them dead on D-day.

 

 

That was an excellent post Taylor!!

 

You clearly have the capacity to comprehend things that though they may be out of your realm of personal experience you are progressive enough to understand.

 

I think density is marked in those who ask the exact same question over and over and over again and receive answers, and STILL proceed to ask the same question.

[Trialbyfire]

It's possible to justify anything, if you put your mind to it. The only people who can control themselves, are themselves. If you allow someone else to have control over you, you're allowing it, for all kinds of reasons. But...this means that when you take control of your life, you also accept responsibility for your actions. This isn't something that everyone is willing to accept.

 

OP, if you're reading any of this, you do have the ability to control how you react to your emotions and how much power, other people have over you from their words or actions. Give power over you, only to the people who you can trust and respect. I doubt you respect your cheater.

[Tomcat33]

Ok, so you're totally love up with that cute guy/girl from your office/gym whatever. Man, they make you feel alive! You feel like you did when you were ten years younger. You wish you could stop time when you're with them.You wish there was a way of creating a parallel universe so you could be with that person without any effect on your life as it is.

 

You put thoughts of your partner out of your mind when you're together. Do you ever really think about what you're doing to your partner? Do you think about it before, at the time, after?

 

Here's the true cost of the affair. I am four years past d-day...

 

I am still here, still alive, still with a smile on my face. Beneath the smile is a loneliness that never lets go.The world I thought I live in disappeared on the day I found out. I can never go back. I have memories but the bridge between me now and the person I was when i thought someone was there for me is just insurmountable.

 

I want to be a survivor but a part of me died on that day. I will never be able to let my defences down to have another relationship with another person. The cost is too high. As a person, I have been changed forever. I lost my place in the world.

 

Khalid Husseini said all sins are about stealing. If you kill, you steal a man's life. If you commit adultery, you steal someone's right to their partner.

 

But it's more than that. You not only steal someone's right to their partner, you steal your partner's ability to trust, to be open to rely on someone. In effect you steal their world from them.

 

Think about it.

 

 

I understand what happened to you is extremely scarring I do, I was there myself once.... but you cannot be victim to your circumstance for ever and you can take control of your situation and help yourself move forward and out of the rut you are in.

 

You compare what happened to you to that of having someone being murdered, well let's imagine your partner was murdered? Let's imagine for a second that all your hopes and dreams for a future with this man were shot in one go when that psychotic person took your spouse's life away. Then what? What do you do when your marriage gets dissolved in a way you had not expected or planned for?

 

You had a life and an identity before your beloved husband came into your picture, so where is that woman today and if you cannot find her then it's time to look for her.

 

You know just this weekend I sat by the side of the bed of a 35 yr old man that has 3 days to live, his youngest child 8months old. He started with a lesion in the mouth that turned out to be cancerous only to later find out he was completey eaten away inside by this cancer. There he lay, a withered and deformed version of himself not even being able to speak because his jaw was removed in the mouth operation. Can't even speak to his children one last time let alone his W or his parents.

 

Can you imagine how this woman must feel, to think only 6 yrs back they were celebrating a wedding and now she has to watch her husband die being left with two babies behind.

 

Nothing in this life guarantees a pleasant future, NOTHING. and when life takes a turn for the absolute worst and makes a victim of us we need to be pepared and also aware enough that to stay victim to a circumstance is akin to killing ourselves while alive.

 

If you can't seem to get over the feelings that are left behind from this man's affair and you can't seem to feel for him what you once did, perhaps it is time re-evaluate why you are hanging on to this man and why you choose to suffer in silence when you could be recovering instead?

 

If you set your mind to never trust again, you will not and there are people who have never been cheated on or had any sort of traumatic experience that also choose not to trust in relationships, it is mind over matter.

[Tomcat33]

That's interesting. Too bad that sometimes it isn't mind over matter. And a death, is I won't ever see that person on this earth again. But with an A you see the person and it appears that they destroyed your life for their own selfishness. Yes, we can move on and develop a healthy life and relationships, but it is much like losing your virginity. Once it is gone, it never comes back. That blind trust in someone, the belief that the person you chose to marry was a person of integrity, honor and truth. Those things can never be replaced. And having a new relationship doesn't mean we won't trust that person based on who they are, I don't know about anyone else, but there will always be a small place in the back of my head where I won't trust my own judgment in choosing a decent partner ever again.

 

 

It's always mind over matter, you must work hard to let the right thoughts control your emotions, period.

 

We are emotionally resilliant, and we are built in such a way that we CAN overcome trauma, otherwise we would not get over death and some people don't, but most people do. You never forget but you do learn to live with the loss and find happiness again.

 

PS what you just desrcibed there in the end is CHOOSING to stay victim to your circumstance, it's your choice regradless of what you lived.

[Tomcat33]

And having a new relationship doesn't mean we won't trust that person based on who they are, I don't know about anyone else, but there will always be a small place in the back of my head where I won't trust my own judgment in choosing a decent partner ever again.

 

 

Then that is your sign that you need to work on that before you embark in your next relationship, you need to work hard to iron out that fear so that you can enter your next relationship with a calmer mind.

Again it is UP to you what you plan to do with that.

 

And you didn't "choose" a bad partner things did not work out as you had expected. Now you have the wisdom of what you lived through so try to look at the upside and see that your new found knowledge can actually help you in making an even BETTER selection. If you focus on the negative you will only attract negativity back.

[Tomcat33]

That's interesting. Too bad that sometimes it isn't mind over matter. And a death, is I won't ever see that person on this earth again. But with an A you see the person and it appears that they destroyed your life for their own selfishness. Yes, we can move on and develop a healthy life and relationships, but it is much like losing your virginity.

 

 

And you don't think my friend feels completely let down at 33 with a husband who has three days to live? She will NEVER see him again and doesn't even have an excuse to be mad at him, she only loves him and he is being taken away, her whole life is about to change and all her dreams are down the toilet.

 

That's life for you, you don't always get what you bargain for. And I know my friend she is a very strong woman but she will fall into her deep hole for sometime and then she will hit a wall and slowly start up again, she will for her daughters she will for her own good/sanity because that is what we are here to do, overcome the obstacles that god has planned for us.

 

It is ALWAYS mind over matter, no excuses no way around it. You may not have reached that enlighten state yet but when you do you will feel an enormous change.

[Tomcat33]

I actually have no intentions of going into another relationship. My mind is calm and at peace with where I am. And I did chose a man who doesn't have morals and I have no intention of doing that again. I don't believe in negative attracting negative, I believe in God's plan, and his plan was for me to be separate.

 

What I meant, is that death is final. I feel for your friend. I also had a friend bury her H at 30 years old, two kids, a mortgage and the love of her life was leaving her. Not by choice, but he was leaving none the less. Your friends H isn't leaving his family for selfish reasons, like most of cheating spouses. If they wanted to leave so bad, the door is their before you expose your family to additional heartache, that could have been avoided.

 

 

But you are blaming yourself for believing in someone that showed you otherwise!?? Again it seems like you are propagating victimization. "Poor me I can't choose a good mate." "Poor HIM that he has no moral core and that he has to fool others into seeing him one way when he is the opposite to that. He will be a miserable sod because he is only capable of limited giving of himself" should be the attitude you want to strive for. Once you reach that way of thinking you can entertain the idea of starting out again with someone new and even trusting again.

 

Why in the world would you deprive yourself a chance at love again?

But fine you are not ready I respect that.

 

Lastly it doesn't matter why the marriage is dissolved, yes one is death the other is a selfish act but both marriages end the exact same way with a lot of pain left behind, unresolved feelings, disillusions, and broken dreams that will NEVER come to fruition. My point was if you focus on the why's it WILL drive you crazy, but if you accept that things were not as you expected there is hope that you can grow from the experience and I appreciate that takes time, a good healthy amount of time. Shifting thought patterns is a way to control your emotional wellbeing.

 

Every relationship that we have helps us to grow and understand ourselves better, no one relationship happens by accident they are all there to teach us something it's up to us to figure out what.

[underpants]

I don't feel as if I am deprived of anything, I am happier than I have ever been, and I no longer believe in blind trust of humans. That is a good thing. There are some wonderfully kind people in the world and I look forward to encoutering as many of them as possible, but I see no need to waste precious energy on searching for some one to love me, when I know that I love me and God loves me.

 

You realize this is when it will rain men.

 

Bent, you are a fantastic soul. If you should ever let another into your heart then I have no doubt they will be very lucky.

[Tomcat33]

I don't feel as if I am deprived of anything, I am happier than I have ever been, and I no longer believe in blind trust of humans. That is a good thing. There are some wonderfully kind people in the world and I look forward to encoutering as many of them as possible, but I see no need to waste precious energy on searching for some one to love me, when I know that I love me and God loves me.

 

I'm glad you are seeing something positive in an othrewise very negative experience. That's good you are already getting something out of it and learning something new about yourself.

 

I agree you shouldn't waste good energy searching for someone to love you, when the time is right and you are open to it of mind and heart, he will come to you.

[Sasperilla]

I've enjoyed reading all of these posts. The great thing about LS is the variety of perspectives you get, some offering sympathy, others offering a much-needed kick up the butt!

 

Sometimes (often) I just drift into despair. It's like an undercurrent of sadness that's always there. In vulnerable moments I look at people in functioning relationships and it has as much relevance to me as wishing I could be President of the US. But you're right. That is a victim mentality and sometimes I catch myself wallowing in it.

 

I made choices. I made choices that may be right or wrong but I still made them. I chose this man (probably in the knowledge that he has low self-esteem and a tendency to bolster it through superficial things), I chose then to stay in the relationship (with the full knowledge that it is never going to be a real relationship now). I can choose to let it ruin my life or not.

 

I am getting back to the person I used to be. I am finding my way there slowly. It is as lonely as being alone though, with the added problem that people assume that I am happily married. I know that I am on my own 100%.

 

There is always fun to be had in life though and I guess keeping busy and not dwelling on what is wrong with your life is one way to keep away from the prozac (been there it is fun but don't want prozac to be my best friend for life).

 

My plan is to keep busy, keep my friends close and live as much as I can. being a 'victim' is such an ugly thought. has anyone been for IC? I've been wondering if it might help.

[NewSunrise]

I've enjoyed reading all of these posts. The great thing about LS is the variety of perspectives you get, some offering sympathy, others offering a much-needed kick up the butt!

 

Sometimes (often) I just drift into despair. It's like an undercurrent of sadness that's always there. In vulnerable moments I look at people in functioning relationships and it has as much relevance to me as wishing I could be President of the US. But you're right. That is a victim mentality and sometimes I catch myself wallowing in it.

 

I made choices. I made choices that may be right or wrong but I still made them. I chose this man (probably in the knowledge that he has low self-esteem and a tendency to bolster it through superficial things), I chose then to stay in the relationship (with the full knowledge that it is never going to be a real relationship now). I can choose to let it ruin my life or not.

 

I am getting back to the person I used to be. I am finding my way there slowly. It is as lonely as being alone though, with the added problem that people assume that I am happily married. I know that I am on my own 100%.

 

There is always fun to be had in life though and I guess keeping busy and not dwelling on what is wrong with your life is one way to keep away from the prozac (been there it is fun but don't want prozac to be my best friend for life).

 

My plan is to keep busy, keep my friends close and live as much as I can. being a 'victim' is such an ugly thought. has anyone been for IC? I've been wondering if it might help.

 

Cost of my XWS' affair to me...

• Lost 13 pounds in 30 days from D-day. At 5'3", I was at unhealthy 102.
  
• Begged doc to prescribe antidepressant. He refused, thankfully and told me to "tough it out. It's only temporary".
  
• Cried at doc's office during sceduled physical and asked to be tested for STD.
  
• Spent nearly $20K in attorney's fees to get rid of him because he thought he would get screwed if we D via paralegal. No kids, no a whole lot of assets, just house and would've cost us $1K max.
  
• XWS was willing to spend thousands of dollars more just so I could leave the garden hoses and lawn mower. LOL! What I would have loved to have shoved that hose up his you know what.
  
• Offered to buy him out of the house, he refused.
  

Costs of XWS A to him...

• Two attorneys over $30K
  
• In lieu of spousal support, another $30K+ in mortgage payments for 1/2 of our marriage.
  
• He's over $100K upside down on the house
  
• Paid a part of my attorney's fees.
  

Update ME: Happily moved on and dating. Recently submitted an offer on a property.

Update HIM: God only knows...Picked my dog from the sitters today, 4 houses from our former house which he resides in, and they said, he asked about me and how I was doing.

 

What I did between D-day to divorce was push myself to do something different. I volunteered for a worthwhile organization for animals as the chapter's corporate sponsor. Great way to meet people and refine business skills.

 

Bottom line. The transition allows you to learn that there is happiness and joy in being alone. Problem is people are afraid of being alone because of the stigma behind it.

 

People easily get trapped into affairs because they haven't quite figured out how to find happiness in just being alone. When you get to this point, you won't need to depend on anyone OM/OW/OP to fulfil whatever void you think needs filling. Consider it your "preventive measures" against an affair.

[NewSunrise]

My plan is to keep busy, keep my friends close and live as much as I can. being a 'victim' is such an ugly thought. has anyone been for IC? I've been wondering if it might help.

Forgot to answer this. Sorry, S.

 

Immediately after D-day, I felt that the only way to get through every minute of the day was seek IC. I did. I cried while waiting to be seen and cried more throughout the one hour session. The counselor pretty much told me what my gut wrenching feeling to do and that was move on.

 

She saw in me what I didn't see at the time. Your self-esteem is so shot that you feel somewhat of a "damaged good" for a lack of better word. Once she asked me what I did for a living, what I've done, my education, where I'm from, yada-yad-yada, she helped me see that I deserved someone better. She was the "grandmotherly" type. Now, had I gone to a "male" IC, the response might have been different.

 

Honestly, I've never been the one to see IC. My XWS on the other hand must've read every flippin "self-help" books. I know. I know. Hindsight should've been "red flag". But, I'm smarter now.

 

So IC is a matter of preference and individual's need. I only went to one session partly because I wasn't ready to give up on the M. YOu just have to try and see for yourself. If you think it will help, you've got nothing to lose other than co-pay since most insurance will pay for it.

[Lookingforward]

I've enjoyed reading all of these posts. The great thing about LS is the variety of perspectives you get, some offering sympathy, others offering a much-needed kick up the butt!

 

Sometimes (often) I just drift into despair. It's like an undercurrent of sadness that's always there. In vulnerable moments I look at people in functioning relationships and it has as much relevance to me as wishing I could be President of the US. But you're right. That is a victim mentality and sometimes I catch myself wallowing in it.

 

I made choices. I made choices that may be right or wrong but I still made them. I chose this man (probably in the knowledge that he has low self-esteem and a tendency to bolster it through superficial things), I chose then to stay in the relationship (with the full knowledge that it is never going to be a real relationship now). I can choose to let it ruin my life or not.

 

I am getting back to the person I used to be. I am finding my way there slowly. It is as lonely as being alone though, with the added problem that people assume that I am happily married. I know that I am on my own 100%.

 

There is always fun to be had in life though and I guess keeping busy and not dwelling on what is wrong with your life is one way to keep away from the prozac (been there it is fun but don't want prozac to be my best friend for life).

 

My plan is to keep busy, keep my friends close and live as much as I can. being a 'victim' is such an ugly thought. has anyone been for IC? I've been wondering if it might help.

 

Unfortunately this seems to be one of the threads that has lost it's original post.....so am assuming the OP was speaking from a BS pov - but there is also a 'cost' to the OW/OM as well

[White Flower]

Unfortunately this seems to be one of the threads that has lost it's original post.....so am assuming the OP was speaking from a BS pov - but there is also a 'cost' to the OW/OM as well.

Yes, there is.

 

I know I'll hear it so I'll say it myself: I knew what I was getting into.

 

Some don't believe we'll fall this much in love so we don't see it as a huge cost in the beginning. And others might see the cost at the outset yet feel that it might be worth it. I was closer to the latter yet somewhere in between.

 

I haven't heard many OWs/OMs claim they felt this strong message within to trust this person like I did and that still confuses me today. Now I'm left thinking that if I wasn't supposed to trust him to make everything the way I wanted it, then maybe I was just supposed to go through all this pain for another reason? At any rate there is a lot of cost for the OP as well.

[NewSunrise]

Yes, there is.

 

I know I'll hear it so I'll say it myself: I knew what I was getting into.

 

Some don't believe we'll fall this much in love so we don't see it as a huge cost in the beginning. And others might see the cost at the outset yet feel that it might be worth it. I was closer to the latter yet somewhere in between.

 

I haven't heard many OWs/OMs claim they felt this strong message within to trust this person like I did and that still confuses me today. Now I'm left thinking that if I wasn't supposed to trust him to make everything the way I wanted it, then maybe I was just supposed to go through all this pain for another reason? At any rate there is a lot of cost for the OP as well.

Not familiar with your story/background WF. So you're welcome to correct me. Just basing my feedback on your post.

 

Since you knew what you were getting yourself into it and based on your quote, is it safe to assume that what have been provided by your MM(?) has met ALL of your expectations?

 

I'm somewhat perplexed with your comment about trusting this person to make everything the way you wanted. Exactly what is the "everything" that you wanted? If not love at first sight (or maybe it was), what is it about this person that captured your attention to have trusted him this strong albeit he is MM? This is the part where the mere mention of the word "trust" doesn't equal to a cheating MM being trustworthy.

 

If you could turn back time, would you do anything different?

[Darth Vader]

Cost of my XWS' affair to me...

• Lost 13 pounds in 30 days from D-day. At 5'3", I was at unhealthy 102.
  
• Begged doc to prescribe antidepressant. He refused, thankfully and told me to "tough it out. It's only temporary".
  
• Cried at doc's office during sceduled physical and asked to be tested for STD.
  
• Spent nearly $20K in attorney's fees to get rid of him because he thought he would get screwed if we D via paralegal. No kids, no a whole lot of assets, just house and would've cost us $1K max.
  
• XWS was willing to spend thousands of dollars more just so I could leave the garden hoses and lawn mower. LOL! What I would have loved to have shoved that hose up his you know what.
  
• Offered to buy him out of the house, he refused.
  

Costs of XWS A to him...

• Two attorneys over $30K
  
• In lieu of spousal support, another $30K+ in mortgage payments for 1/2 of our marriage.
  
• He's over $100K upside down on the house
  
• Paid a part of my attorney's fees.
  

Update ME: Happily moved on and dating. Recently submitted an offer on a property.

Update HIM: God only knows...Picked my dog from the sitters today, 4 houses from our former house which he resides in, and they said, he asked about me and how I was doing.

 

What I did between D-day to divorce was push myself to do something different. I volunteered for a worthwhile organization for animals as the chapter's corporate sponsor. Great way to meet people and refine business skills.

 

Bottom line. The transition allows you to learn that there is happiness and joy in being alone. Problem is people are afraid of being alone because of the stigma behind it.

 

People easily get trapped into affairs because they haven't quite figured out how to find happiness in just being alone. When you get to this point, you won't need to depend on anyone OM/OW/OP to fulfil whatever void you think needs filling. Consider it your "preventive measures" against an affair.

 

 

You left out one cost to him: He lost you! Furthermore EXWS knows you're out screwing other men, and getting "more" than him!

 

By the way, gotta Pic?

[NewSunrise]

You left out one cost to him: He lost you! Furthermore EXWS knows you're out screwing other men, and getting "more" than him!

 

By the way, gotta Pic?

DV, you've got a way of putting darkness into the light, don't you? "Dating" doesn't mean "screwing other men". What made you think the verb meant plural?

[Darth Vader]

DV, you've got a way of putting darkness into the light, don't you? "Dating" doesn't mean "screwing other men". What made you think the verb meant plural?

 

 

Awww, she's trying to flatter me and/or flirt with me, j/k. As far as the dating and screwing goes, come on lady, I know you're not out just "looking":rolleyes:, well ok, maybe you are, but, lets face it, you're eager to have better, longer, more orgasmic sex, to get the frustration out, more basically put, to screw! Right about now, you're shaking your head at me. Anyway, I guessed at the plural part, but, you know for a fact that you could get laid more than your husband ever could, and on a bad day too!

[NewSunrise]

Awww, she's trying to flatter me and/or flirt with me, j/k. As far as the dating and screwing goes, come on lady, I know you're not out just "looking":rolleyes:, well ok, maybe you are, but, lets face it, you're eager to have better, longer, more orgasmic sex, to get the frustration out, more basically put, to screw! Right about now, you're shaking your head at me. Anyway, I guessed at the plural part, but, you know for a fact that you could get laid more than your husband ever could, and on a bad day too!

DV what unearthly planet did you crawl from under?

[Lookingforward]

DV what unearthly planet did you crawl from under?

 

the Death Star (just be grateful he didn't mention "riding")

[NewSunrise]

the Death Star (just be grateful he didn't mention "riding")

:D:D!

 

I thought they put those guys away for good! No wonder he came across deathly....

[Darth Vader]

DV what unearthly planet did you crawl from under?

 

 

Tatooine, why do you ask?

[Darth Vader]

the Death Star (just be grateful he didn't mention "riding")

 

 

Aww, now you spoiled it for her!:cool: