guy.lepage Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 My girlfriend and I went to a club last week with a bunch of friends and acquaintances. We were both having a good time and had a few drinks, although neither of us were actually drunk. One of the guys who came with us decided at some point to go to the bar and order himself a drink. My girlfriend and another girl followed him. For some unknown reason, that other girl spanked the guy on the butt. I was a bit surprised but was totally stunned when my own girlfriend spanked the guy's butt TWICE. She talked to him quite a bit on that night and was very friendly with him. Am I right in being upset, or am I being unnecessarily jealous? Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 You have every right to be upset. This type of behavior is unacceptable and disrespectful. Break up with her before she breaks your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Talking won't do much good, she'll just hide it more. I would give her a taste of her own medicene. Next time you guys go out, find a looker and start talking to her a bit. If my wife did something like your gf did, I would be telling her to hit the road. I'm sure if you try to talk to her about it, she'll become defensive and start getting upset like it was your fault. Those are red flags to watch for. If you tolerate her behavior, expect more of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy.lepage Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 Thanks guys. I've been with my girl for four years now and must say I felt rather insecure in front of that guy. He was actually pretty nice and did not hit on her at all. She's the one who kept talking to him, asking him his MSN handle, etc. She and I have always been pretty relaxed about this kind of stuff but I definitely feel like she has gone a bit too far. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 If the roles had been reversed do you think your girlfriend would have been so accepting as you? You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions are speaking volumes. Her behavior was unbelivably disrespectful to you. She is sending you a clear message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy.lepage Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 If the roles had been reversed do you think your girlfriend would have been so accepting as you? You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions are speaking volumes. Her behavior was unbelivably disrespectful to you. She is sending you a clear message. I would've been crucified. Then again, it is seemingly ok for a woman to spank a random guy but reverse the roles and in most cases this would end up with harassment charges. When you say she is sending me a clear message, do you think she no longer loves me? Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Her asking his online name is a way for her to pursue her interest in him. I think you know what you have to do here. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I totally agree. Her actions indicate that she is shopping around looking for a better deal to come around. The fact that she asked him about his online user name indicates that she wishes to connect with him. It seems previous obvious dosen't it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy.lepage Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 I am in so much pain. The fact that she asked for all of this right in my face suggested she had strictly friendly intentions but you guys seem to bring this under a totally different light. The other guy's a veterinarian so I don't see how I could compete with him. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 My girlfriend and I went to a club last week with a bunch of friends and acquaintances. We were both having a good time and had a few drinks, although neither of us were actually drunk. One of the guys who came with us decided at some point to go to the bar and order himself a drink. My girlfriend and another girl followed him. For some unknown reason, that other girl spanked the guy on the butt. I was a bit surprised but was totally stunned when my own girlfriend spanked the guy's butt TWICE. She talked to him quite a bit on that night and was very friendly with him. Am I right in being upset, or am I being unnecessarily jealous? You have every right to be upset. She did all that because she was attracted to him and disprespected you big time. I wouldn't waste any more time with her. Dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I would've been crucified. Then again, it is seemingly ok for a woman to spank a random guy but reverse the roles and in most cases this would end up with harassment charges. When you say she is sending me a clear message, do you think she no longer loves me? I don't think she is sending you a message. I just think she is an inconsiderate little tart. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I don't think she is sending you a message. I just think she is an inconsiderate little tart. Maybe that IS the message she's sending him ? Hopefully he'll get it and find someone else that won't display such downright lack of good manners and respect let alone anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
JustBreathe Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I wouldn't like it. You're justified. You are in a commited relationship with each other, spanking butts and asking for email addresses is crossing the line. Here's a thought, and I'm not even trying to defend her, but, have you ever flirted with a lady in front of her? I can recall doing this to my husband but only when he had done it first. I know, it's childish, but that's what I used to do way back when I cared what he did, which I don't, anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Her asking his online name is a way for her to pursue her interest in him. I think you know what you have to do here. Maybe she was asking for her friend (the other girl that followed the guy to the bar too)? OP, is the other girl single and shy? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Butt spanking = early departure and hope GF has enough money left for cab fare home Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy.lepage Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 I wouldn't like it. You're justified. You are in a commited relationship with each other, spanking butts and asking for email addresses is crossing the line. Here's a thought, and I'm not even trying to defend her, but, have you ever flirted with a lady in front of her? I can recall doing this to my husband but only when he had done it first. I know, it's childish, but that's what I used to do way back when I cared what he did, which I don't, anymore. We've been together for quite a while so I'm sure I must've done at least a few things that she disliked. I'm usually playful around other women but not actually flirtatious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy.lepage Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 Maybe she was asking for her friend (the other girl that followed the guy to the bar too)? OP, is the other girl single and shy? Actually the other girl has a long time boyfriend as well. And the other girl knows the guy quite well and wouldn't need his MSN handle to contact him. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Actually the other girl has a long time boyfriend as well. And the other girl knows the guy quite well and wouldn't need his MSN handle to contact him. Then I guess the only thing to say is you need to let her know that it seemed out of bounds for you and out of character for her and ask her why she would begin to behave this way. Sorry man, I was hoping you'd come back and say that it might be that she was trying to hook up a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Actually the other girl has a long time boyfriend as well. And the other girl knows the guy quite well and wouldn't need his MSN handle to contact him. Even if that had been the case you don't flirt and smack a guys butt to help your friend hook up. That's completely illogical. I'm not sure why someone would even suggest that. What we have here is a girl who lacks self control and puts her own needs before that of her SO. Get out now before she does some real damage. Link to post Share on other sites
JustBreathe Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Well I would sure talk to her. I think it would be reasonable to at least ask here why she did it and how she would feel if you did it. Maybe it's just a boundary issue. You need to let her know that is a line for you, and that it bothers you. Talk to each other openly and honestly. That's the best way. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Well I would sure talk to her. I think it would be reasonable to at least ask here why she did it and how she would feel if you did it. Maybe it's just a boundary issue. You need to let her know that is a line for you, and that it bothers you. Talk to each other openly and honestly. That's the best way. She shouldn't have to be told that smacking another guys butt is a problem. Or that asking the guy who's butt she smacked for his MSN handle is disrespectful. That to me is common sense and if she lacks that he should get out of the relationship for that reason alone. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I'm a little puzzled as when you posted on the other site a short while ago you were married and were concerned about your wifes actions towards a client of hers. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I'm a little puzzled as when you posted on the other site a short while ago you were married and were concerned about your wifes actions towards a client of hers. The OP appears to be a new member with only 6 total posts, all on this thread. It's not clear what you are referring to here. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 (edited) Quotes from guy.lepage from other site: My wife and I had dinner with a group of friends and acquaintances. There was this one guy who everyone thought was funny and interesting. He was sitting next to my wife and the two of them seemed to get along very well. To make a long story short, this guy ends up talking about how to take good care of a dog. My wife and I often argued about our dog as she often accused me of being careless. I disagree as I think she's paranoid. Anyhow, at some point she brought it up during dinner and used the new guy to support her views. She said what I did was wrong since HE said so. And since Mr. New Guy was so smart, she had to believe him. Am I right to be upset? followed further on by........ If the guy was a veterinarian or something, fine. But he was just another office worker like me! It just made me look like an idiot in front of all of these people. My wife would rather believe that guy than me. I remember the name and went back to check. Noticed the mention of veterinarian.....pops up here and over the other site. So yeah I'm puzzled. Edited March 19, 2008 by LifesontheUp Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedMM Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 The fact that she asked for all of this right in my face suggested she had strictly friendly intentions but you guys seem to bring this under a totally different light. Oldest trick in the book. Hiding in plain sight. My stbx pulled that stunt too. So, is this your girlfriend, or wife we're talking about here? Link to post Share on other sites
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