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should we be separated during marriage counselling?


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I've never been to marriage counselling, so I don't know what to expect. I am thinking about going to my mom's during counselling but don't know if this is a good idea. Please help. If you need more info, see my other thread.

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Do you believe there is a compelling reason to do so?

 

I did not read anything in your writings to suggest you are in any physical danger. However, you are living in the middle of what appears to be a textbook case of a dysfunctional family. I can certainly sympathize with needing some space to breathe & to think.

 

One of the hazards of a separation is the loss of coupleness. The separatees are living apart, not living as a couple, not functioning as a couple. Soon they may cease to think as a couple & act as a couple, & the result being is that they cease to be a couple.

 

So the question is whether this is a risk you are willing to take.

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I see your point. However, I do not feel as though we are functioning as a couple right now. I FEEL as though I am everyone's caregiver and that I am not recieving any respect or gratitude. I do want to save my marriage. I think it (separation) could help in that we would both be free do do some reflecting. ( And some personal growth, on both of our parts.) Also, I am not physically in danger, but I am getting very depressed, sleeping too much, irratable, etc, which is not good for my son.( Whom I am the main care-taker of...)However, I do understand your point, and I will consider it.

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Heavenlyflower9

then nothing will happen. We hope it won't be long term seperation. Just enough time for him to snap out of it and for you to get back on track. He has to know how you feel. If he really loves you, he'll work on it. If you don't want to move out yet then....

 

I know it might sound selfish.....but you need take care of yourself first then the rest will fall in place.

 

1. See a doctor and tell him or her what you have been experiencing lately, your situation. Feeling depressed, sleeping too much and irriability are all signs of serious depression and can be treated. Just to help you get started. I can relate because i was diagnosed, took Zoloft for awhile. Doing alot better now!

 

2. Start with the MC or IC. Even if he does'nt go at first. These are professionals and they help! Once you're doing better, you can focus on your son.

 

3.Your son! Check into those schools I wrote about in last thread. Plus, kids his age need to interact with others. It's good for him. While he's in school, you could look into going part time to school and working. All depending the outcome of your pellgrant. You decide!

 

4. Sit down with hubby and make a list of things you BOTH want out of life. If yall both agree then work on it together as a FAMILY!!! Communication is always the most important thing in a marriage. Believe me... I learned the hard way. Feel free to read my threads!

 

Well, Mcgee...you take care and good luck! Keep us updated!

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I am not physically in danger, but I am getting very depressed, sleeping too much, irratable, etc, which is not good for my son.( Whom I am the main care-taker of...)However, I do understand your point, and I will consider it.

 

Heavenlyflower9 addresses this point quite well, & I do concur. You do need to fix yourself before you would be of much use in fixing the relationship.

 

A separation is a major step, with serious ramifications. We only wish that your decision be an informed one.

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