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my husband slept with my sister


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jeanniemarie

I don't know what to do. I found out that my husband had sex 4 different times in one day with my older sister. I love my husband very much but don't know what to do and there is no one for me to talk to at all that can help me. There only reason that he says he did it was because he wanted too. And she wont tell me the truth all she will say is that he is lying. There is no reason for him to lie to me at all. why would he lie to be about doing this. Half of me wants to leave and the other to stay. We have children. i just need some help

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This is pretty bizarre. You got this information from your husband, so obviously he cares nothing about hurting your feelings. Even if this never happened, the fact that he would tell you he had sex with your sister is sufficient grounds to end a relationship. How can you trust a guy like that ever again? Your children are much better off without a father who has sex with their mom's sister. This is just so weird the only way I think anybody could handle it is just to get away...as far far away from the situation as possible.

 

Your husband is a low life scumbag. I just don't see how you could ever patch this up unless he is on some kind of heavy duty drugs now and could change dramatically if put in a treatment program. If he's handing you this garbage straight, he's worse than a worm.

 

I wish Lorena Bobbit were on this site giving advice. She'd tell you EXACTLY what to do.

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I find it hard to imagine that you could forgive such an act. Both your husband and your sister behaved so wrongly.

I am sorry for your pain, and wish you luck with your future. Think very carefully about what he has done.

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How disgusting!! They have zero respect for either you or your children. I feel for you, I really do. :(

 

It's up to you what you want to do about it though. Marriage counselling? I don't know. I don't think I could stay in a relationship if that happened to me.

 

I know though, that my sisters would never do anything of the sort

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Originally posted by RecordProducer

I think this is a TROLL! It doesn't sound like a genuine post to me.

A husband would never tell the wife such a thing... plus say he wanted to... and 4 times in a row? C'mon... be more creative next time! ;)

 

Maybe he either decided to come clean, or she somehow found out about it. Who knows? But I would leave if my husband had such little respect for me to do such a thing..

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jeanniemarie pay no mind to some rude posters who call you a troll. It's an awful situation and it sounds like this guy is a jerk. Has he done stuff like this before?

 

To RP: trolls seldom register, and would hardly list their location as something as mundane as 'middle Idaho' :rolleyes:

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LucreziaBorgia
Originally posted by jeanniemarie

I don't know what to do. I found out that my husband had sex 4 different times in one day with my older sister. I love my husband very much but don't know what to do and there is no one for me to talk to at all that can help me. There only reason that he says he did it was because he wanted too. And she wont tell me the truth all she will say is that he is lying. There is no reason for him to lie to me at all. why would he lie to be about doing this. Half of me wants to leave and the other to stay. We have children. i just need some help

 

Here's what you do.

 

1. Out the affair. Tell his parents, and your parents, and her H/BF if she has one - what happened. This will immediately blow any lies out of the water. If one of them is lying, hopefully this step will expose that.

2. Go see a lawyer and get some legal advice on what sort of settlement you can expect - make sure you get a lawyer who will push for the maximum per child, plus as much alimony as you can get. Don't make a move yet to sign anything, just find out what you are entitled to in case you need it - and have the paperwork handy.

3. Your lawyer may be able to advise on a counselor to help you out with personal issues as well.

4. If you want to try to save your marriage, then tell your H he has only ONE choice: marriage counseling or divorce. If he refuses to go to marriage counseling, then you will have little choice but adapt to life with a man who will cheat on you for the rest of your life, or divorce and try to make a better life for you and your children.

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i think you should leave its not only the fact that he cheated on you but with your sister obviously he has no idea what family and morales are. just leave you will be better off without him

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Originally posted by Tony T

This is pretty bizarre. You got this information from your husband, so obviously he cares nothing about hurting your feelings. Even if this never happened, the fact that he would tell you he had sex with your sister is sufficient grounds to end a relationship. How can you trust a guy like that ever again? Your children are much better off without a father who has sex with their mom's sister. This is just so weird the only way I think anybody could handle it is just to get away...as far far away from the situation as possible.

 

Your husband is a low life scumbag. I just don't see how you could ever patch this up unless he is on some kind of heavy duty drugs now and could change dramatically if put in a treatment program. If he's handing you this garbage straight, he's worse than a worm.

 

I wish Lorena Bobbit were on this site giving advice. She'd tell you EXACTLY what to do.

 

What Tony said!

 

Why do you not believe your sister? It sounds like you want to believe your husband but not your sister. In either case - dump the creep and get a lawyer to protect you and your children. Get some outside counseling to help you sort this out---you need someone to talk with in person. Talk to the guideance counselor at your kids school -- they may need some help adjusting to the separation especially if they don't know the reasons and maybe the guidance counselor can give you some help too or help you find someone to talk with. Are you active in Church? Maybe there is a ministerial program that can help you.

 

So when your husband comes home and finds his clothes on the lawn and his broken electronics and the locks changed and asks you why you did it, say "because I wanted to".

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billybadass36

Hold on a second....did your husband have sex with your older sister before or during your relationship with him? I think everyone's assuming it was during the marriage, but your initial post isnt' exactly clear on that. It just says that your husband told you he had sex with your older sister.

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jeanniemarie
Originally posted by jeanniemarie

I don't know what to do. I found out that my husband had sex 4 different times in one day with my older sister. I love my husband very much but don't know what to do and there is no one for me to talk to at all that can help me. There only reason that he says he did it was because he wanted too. And she wont tell me the truth all she will say is that he is lying. There is no reason for him to lie to me at all. why would he lie to be about doing this. Half of me wants to leave and the other to stay. We have children. i just need some help

Ok This is what happened)))))

 

IN May of this year i took a trip to OKlahoma which is where my sister and her husband. After being there for a month of vacation they decided that they wanted to move to Idaho with me and be closer to me and my family. At this point she had never met my husband. So 2 days before we leave her husband says that he won't beable to come to Idaho for about 2-3 mopnths and that she should go a head and he will be here soon. So I brought her back to Idaho with me. She was only here for 1 month. She had a bus ticket to go back because our mom got ill and needed to go and help her. Her bus left on June 17th at noon. On June 16th was a daughters 1ST birthday party. On Friday June 15th i was helping a friend move and this is the day that they had sex. Twice before picking up my son from swim lessions then twice when they got back adn put the kids down for a nap. I knew something was wrong because my husband was acting weird. On Monday the day after she left i told my husband that "SHANNON" was going and telling people that she had sex with him (which was a lie that i was telling just to get the truth) well after 3 hours he finally told they did it. 4 times in the office while i was moving a friend. "Shannon" won't tell me the truth. Why would he lie about if he wanted a divorce all he had to do was ask. now that is the whole story.

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Sal Paradise
Originally posted by jeanniemarie

I don't know what to do. I found out that my husband had sex 4 different times in one day with my older sister. I love my husband very much but don't know what to do and there is no one for me to talk to at all that can help me. There only reason that he says he did it was because he wanted too. And she wont tell me the truth all she will say is that he is lying. There is no reason for him to lie to me at all. why would he lie to be about doing this. Half of me wants to leave and the other to stay. We have children. i just need some help

 

Leave him! There is no forgiving this piece of **** excuse for a human being. He is a worthless waste of sperm (as is your sister). I'd cut them both out of your life for good.

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To screw around is bad enough, but with your sister? That is the ultimate betrayal. I would never be able to forgive my husband or my sister if that ever happened to me. It was one thing for your husband to be such a pig but your sister should have had enough heart to know better than to do that.

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RecordProducer

So the sister and her husband decided to move to Idaho then the sis comes alone, stays there for a month, has sex with the husband and goes back because the mother is sick?!?!?! :rolleyes:

 

And Jeannie senses that something is weird so she tells the husband "my sister is telling people around that she had sex with you"! And that was just a provocation! Like anyone normal would do that... :D

 

Nice try with the dates though... ;)

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A man you can get rid of, your sister impossible, I really feel for you if this is true.

 

If this is true their would be more to the story than a man saying "I wanted too". He would give excuses or try to make it seem as if it's a lie. A man doesn't admit he's wrong that easily, c'mon realisticly!

 

At this point she had never met my husband.

 

So you didn't have a wedding ceremony? And she never came to it, your own sister? :confused:

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My sister was not present when I got married. SO what?

 

 

Tell her husband and your parents and out the affair. You have every right to take your time to decide whether or not to boot your husband out the door. Infidelity is a huge trauma and you need some time to get your thoughts together.

 

 

I feel for you, you are going to have a really tough time no matter what you decide.

 

 

Frankly, I hope you get rid of them both. But more so your sister!

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Well, I don't know if this will make you feel any better or not, but you're not alone in having gone through this. My wife's first husband did the same thing to her...slept with her sister at least once while they were married.

 

I don't believe that she ever truly forgave him. I know that it took years (at least 10) before my wife truly forgave her sister too, but she has and they're actually very close now.

 

When I met my wife and we started dating, I had no idea why she kept throwing her sister at me...setting up all kinds of situations where something could have happened. It boils down to the fact that she was really scared of it happening again.

 

But...my wife is the lady I love, and I wasn't (and still am not) interested in her sister. We've been married 18 years now.

 

Just thought I'd share with you that this isn't the first time something like this has happened. Personally, I suggest that you and your husband both seek counseling...both marriage counseling and individual counseling to help you repair your marriage and to help yourselves to heal from this.

 

Good luck regardless.

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whichwayisup
Originally posted by jeanniemarie

I don't know what to do. I found out that my husband had sex 4 different times in one day with my older sister. I love my husband very much but don't know what to do and there is no one for me to talk to at all that can help me. There only reason that he says he did it was because he wanted too. And she wont tell me the truth all she will say is that he is lying. There is no reason for him to lie to me at all. why would he lie to be about doing this. Half of me wants to leave and the other to stay. We have children. i just need some help

 

The two people you should be able to trust fully, both let you down. It's selfish what they did and honestly they both need to suffer the consquences of their actions. Have you told her husband what they did?? He needs to know the truth too.

 

It really is sad that the kids are the ones who lose out the most, unfortunately neither of them thought of the children let alone you and her husband...

 

I hope you can concentrate on dealing with your feelings and emotions, maybe seek some one on one therapy so you can cope better.

 

All the best and keep posting.

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  • 2 months later...
Just passing through

I am writing because, this happened to me also and I just wish that I had outed EVERYONE when it happened. My ex-husband was a sexual pervert who cheated constantly with anyone who would give him the time of day. BOTH of my sisters slept with this man!!!!!! The youngest one was 18 and she was a virgin. I felt so guilty for allowing him the opportunity to get at her. The other sister was 24 and was warned but she wanted to believe his lies. He told them both that they were the sisters he wished he met first. He told everyone that he could fall for them more than for me and if they played their cards right, they could be the next Mrs. XXXX XXXXX. Anyway, they both got angry with me because he didn't mean it. Both my sisters left ME to deal with this cheating abuser. I finally got out of there with what was left of my sanity and re-established my relationship with my parents but my sisters have always remained angry with me. This happened almost 20 years ago and I am through groveling for a relationship with my sisters. They hated me and had no respect for me to begin with or they would have done what so many of my good friends did, say NO.

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  • 4 weeks later...
I don't know what to do. I found out that my husband had sex 4 different times in one day with my older sister. I love my husband very much but don't know what to do and there is no one for me to talk to at all that can help me. There only reason that he says he did it was because he wanted too. And she wont tell me the truth all she will say is that he is lying. There is no reason for him to lie to me at all. why would he lie to be about doing this. Half of me wants to leave and the other to stay. We have children. i just need some help

 

 

I Have this done two me and it is the worst thing ever but im still with him and i talk two my sister still but some times i want two leave him but i think that would be for the best then i can start a new life with my children and dont let eny man in my life again i cant trust them and i dont think i ever will:( :( :( :(

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