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Married men -- How do you KNOW your wife loves you.


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

 
 
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Old 29th July 2005, 2:59 PM   #1
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Unhappy Married men -- How do you KNOW your wife loves you.

How do you ever know if your wife really loves you. Mine has been hurt so much in the past I sometimes can't believe she could ever really love me. How do I know if she really does or just wants the security of a relationship, and a father for her son. (my step son). Which, sometimes, I think that's all it really is.
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Old 29th July 2005, 3:09 PM   #2
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luv

if you're having sex with her and you are the ONLY man having sex with her then she loves you
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Old 29th July 2005, 3:13 PM   #3
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Re: luv

Quote:
Originally posted by alphamale
if you're having sex with her and you are the ONLY man having sex with her then she loves you
Yep. Action, not words.
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Old 29th July 2005, 3:44 PM   #4
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from a chick perspective: she delights in doing those little "things" for you. Like buying you a case of Starbucks Frappachino's from the wholesale warehouse club because she knows how much you love them but refuse to pay five bucks for a four-pack from the grocery store. Like renting DVDs of movies YOU like, then getting a chick-flick for herself if she's got enough money to get one. Like not bxtching about gathering, sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting away your laundry every week. Like making sure you've got a clean towel for when you get out of the shower. Like not complaining when she steps in your cat's yak, but just cleans it up then tells you to keep an eye on the cat because it may be having an allergic reaction to its food. Like spending her last $10 on a tub of your favorite ice cream.

stuff she really doesn't have to do, but does because you're her man and she loves you ...
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Old 29th July 2005, 3:48 PM   #5
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have to do

Quote:
Originally posted by quankanne
stuff she really doesn't have to do, but does because you're her man and she loves you ...
so does she really have to spend all his money AND suck the life outta him too??

god, i am NEVER getting married again.
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Old 29th July 2005, 3:57 PM   #6
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Re: have to do

Quote:
Originally posted by alphamale
so does she really have to spend all his money AND suck the life outta him too??

god, i am NEVER getting married again.
So I take your wife left ya with no money and no sole.. did she keep your ballz on the mantle too ?
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Old 29th July 2005, 3:59 PM   #7
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Re: have to do

Quote:
Originally posted by alphamale
so does she really have to spend all his money AND suck the life outta him too??

god, i am NEVER getting married again.
Sorry you had some bad experiences, Alpha. Lots of us women pay our way in the relationship -- either with money we earn, or with hard work. Often both. And as for sucking the life out of someone, that's just a sign that the relationship isn't about love at all. Real love fills your life and invigorates you! You know this And I hope you found it with your sweetie.

I've always had a good job, make a good income, own my own home, nice car, take care of my retirement accounts.... When I choose to be with a guy, it's not for his money, his house, or his car -- it's for him. I want to share the things in life that bring joy and meaning to us. Money can make life more comfortable, but it is not my focus. And I think for a great many women, the really important thing in life is sharing love and friendship with someone we really care for. All the rest takes a back seat.

To be fair, priorities may change as we get older. I'll be 42 this year, so I'm not seriously interested in having more kids. If I were to get married again, it would be strictly for love and looking forward to sharing my golden years with someone I can really say is my partner and soul mate. And if I never find that soul mate, then I won't settle for someone; I'd rather never get married again than *settle.*
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Old 29th July 2005, 4:48 PM   #8
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I practically have to keep a flyswatter around at all times to keep her from kissing, and groping me when I'm at home - and this is after 10 years of marriage - Good lord woman, quit harrassing me!!!!
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Old 29th July 2005, 5:13 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blackfrost
I practically have to keep a flyswatter around at all times to keep her from kissing, and groping me when I'm at home - and this is after 10 years of marriage - Good lord woman, quit harrassing me!!!!
I do that to my husband ALL the time. I am always kissing him, touching him, groping. Most of the time he doesn't mind it, but I do it when he's trying to get ready for work. I dance around him, naked, shaking away and he gets kinda irked with me...

We've been together 12 years now and still going strong.

You sound really happy in your marriage, so you both must be doing something right...Or you just love that she's all over you all the time! It's fun! (Seriously, ask her WHY she does it. LOL!)
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Old 29th July 2005, 6:15 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blackfrost
I practically have to keep a flyswatter around at all times to keep her from kissing, and groping me when I'm at home - and this is after 10 years of marriage - Good lord woman, quit harrassing me!!!!
Haha... that sounds like Mr. B - I chase him around from time to time just to grope his cute butt, or hang on him and he will laugh and swat at me saying "get off me woman!". Its sort of a joke between us. We have been married nearly ten years, too. I still find him as sexy as ever, and I let him know that.

How do I show him I love him? Besides the sex part - its all in the little things. Kisses that are warm and sexy and not just the 'functional peck'. Compliments, thoughtful gestures, stuff like that. Pretty much anything to show him that I still love him, want him and care about him as a person and not just as "the husband." I treat him like I did when we were dating - showing him that he has value to me, by doing the things I do. When I see him, I tell him I'm happy to see him and I show him that I'm happy to see him - and I truly am. He does the same sort of mushy stuff for me, too.

I expect if your wife treats you like just another piece of functional furniture, and does absolutely nothing intimate or affectionate to show you that she loves you, then there is a problem there.
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Last edited by LucreziaBorgia; 29th July 2005 at 6:27 PM..
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Old 29th July 2005, 7:03 PM   #11
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yep, you KNOW it's got to be love if your mate can still catch your eye after all those years together. DH has a gooseable bottom, too ... he gets a lot of complimentary butt rubs, but he thinks it's purely for altruistic reasons

*leers*

so does she really have to spend all his money AND suck the life outta him too??

only a beetch does that, alpha. Smart gals know that it's nice when he shares, but it's more gratifying when she can buy or do whatever she wants because she's footing the bill with her own money.

sucking the life out of him? I guess we're not talking about Ol' One Eye being coaxed into giving up the goods with a bit of tongue-work, are we?
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Old 29th July 2005, 10:23 PM   #12
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Re: Married men -- How do you KNOW your wife loves you.

Quote:
Originally posted by thegoodhubbie
How do you ever know if your wife really loves you. Mine has been hurt so much in the past I sometimes can't believe she could ever really love me. How do I know if she really does or just wants the security of a relationship, and a father for her son. (my step son). Which, sometimes, I think that's all it really is.
You have to trust her and accept the love that she gives you, and understand that her past may make the quality of her love for you seem different from what you would expect, but trust that it is LOVE and not an ulterior motive.

Why wouldn't she love you? Ask yourself what it is about you that she could/should love and what it is about you that you think would make it impossible for her to love you. Understand and respect yourself so that you can trust her love for you.

I wonder sometimes why my husband loves me -- there are times when I don't see how that could be possible and times when I've thought all he wanted was a meal-ticket (he doesn't work and I support the family). But that was my own insecurity surfacing and when I step back and look at the marriage outside of finances, I can trust that it's ME he loves and not what I can earn or do for him.

Last edited by HokeyReligions; 29th July 2005 at 10:26 PM..
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Old 30th July 2005, 11:18 AM   #13
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Re: have to do

Quote:
Originally posted by alphamale
so does she really have to spend all his money AND suck the life outta him too??

god, i am NEVER getting married again.

Too fu(kin' hilarious!! ............ that was a joke, right Alpha???

Last edited by SummerRae; 30th July 2005 at 11:25 AM..
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Old 30th July 2005, 1:12 PM   #14
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Re: Re: have to do

Quote:
Originally posted by SummerRae
Too fu(kin' hilarious!! ............ that was a joke, right Alpha???
yes
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Old 30th July 2005, 2:11 PM   #15
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Men and women are more different than just physical appearance would suggest. Women, generally speaking, love their man in the way that they themselves would like to be loved. Usually, more in an emotional and nurturing way.

I suppose that's true of everyone, really. You show your love for your S/O in the manner in which you would most like to receive it and recognize it.

Quote:
Originally posted by quankanne
from a chick perspective: she delights in doing those little "things" for you. Like buying you a case of Starbucks Frappachino's from the wholesale warehouse club because she knows how much you love them but refuse to pay five bucks for a four-pack from the grocery store. Like renting DVDs of movies YOU like, then getting a chick-flick for herself if she's got enough money to get one. Like not bxtching about gathering, sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting away your laundry every week. Like making sure you've got a clean towel for when you get out of the shower. Like not complaining when she steps in your cat's yak, but just cleans it up then tells you to keep an eye on the cat because it may be having an allergic reaction to its food. Like spending her last $10 on a tub of your favorite ice cream.

stuff she really doesn't have to do, but does because you're her man and she loves you ...
I'm in agreement with Quankanne here.

But if you're not feeling loved in the relationship....that's something you need to help your wife understand. What good is it to love your partner, if he can't feel it? It's like not loving at all.




p.s to Alpha...
Quote:
so does she really have to spend all his money AND suck the life outta him too??

god, i am NEVER getting married again.
I don't think you're in too much danger of being slung up over some woman's back and hauled unceremoniously off to the sacrificial alter of marriage.

Membership in 'The He-Man Woman-Hater's Club' DOES have it's priviledges. Just show your membership card!
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