Friend met Guy One Month & Engaged the Next Month

[inhighwater]

Names are changed to privacy.

 

My friend Jan got ahold of me the other day after we had not talked in a long time. Jan told me that she was busy, busy. And then she said, "Did you know that I am getting married?" And I was very happy for her and I am still happy that she seeing someone but once I heard this next part I got worried. See Jan is the type of person that when the opposite sex gives her attention she falls for them head over heels very quickly even if they are just friends. Well, I asked her to give me the goods on her new man. She told me that he was in his early twenties (Jan is in her mid twenties) and that she met him on the internet and that they met (I'm assuming this is when they met face to face) just a little over two months ago. And he just asked her to marry him not even a month ago. They are planning for their wedding to be in the winter of this year. I never said anything to Jan that I was worried about this being too soon to marry. Jan is a very Bull Headed person and she doesn't listen very well when people try and warn her about things and then she gets hurt. Then when you do say something to her she gets mad at you. And this marriage could go Great but I just feel that they should date a while longer before they get married. This guy could go from being the greatest guy in the world to showing a very bad side of himself. You just never know these days.

 

Help! Any advice would be great!

[d'Arthez]

This is the fourth time this post is posted.

[inhighwater]

I did not want people to have to listen to two peoples agruement that got totally off the subject of my post. I apologize for my duplicate posting.

 

I also wanted different peoples views that were in different situations.

[whichwayisup]

All I can suggest is be happy for her, support her in any way that you can, and be there for her as a friend if this marriage or the engagement ends. I'm sure she has her family telling her some negative things, that she's moving too fast etc., she doesn't need to hear it from you too.

 

Maybe he is the one, who knows? Hope it works out for them and I hope that your friendship with stays on a high note.

[FolderWife]

Let me just say that I knew my husband (KNEW him...not dated...KNEW him) for a month and a half before we got married. We're doing pretty good as of late.

[jmargel]

You know as well as I do that this probably won't last. Anytime an engagement is made while still in the 'puppy dog love' stage it's not good. Right now they are just head over heels with each other. Wait until the arguing starts, wait until they start living together and finding out about each other's annoying habits. She really doesn't know this guy and you are worried about her.

 

I wouldn't pretend like all is roses. I would talk to her, tell her you care about her alot and kinda mention what I said. She probably won't take it a good way, but just tell her to really think about things. Taking things slow doesn't mean you won't marry him, but just to get all the wrinkles ironed out. Marriage is for life.

[Treasa]

As one of the "two people" mentioned, we DID give you advice. That's no reason to post multiple times, unless you're absolutely obsessed with this woman's life. Stop worrying about it. She may be a friend, but it's none of your business. I know people who have gotten engaged after two months and are still together, years later, and others whose relationships fell spectacularly to pieces. I'm sure you have other things to do than worry about what's going to happen to her.

[moimeme]

Let me just say that I knew my husband (KNEW him...not dated...KNEW him) for a month and a half before we got married. We're doing pretty good as of late

 

Well congratulations. You were lucky. You, unlike many women, didn't find out after the fact that he was a drug user, gambler, con man, or abusive. Thank your lucky stars. But don't encourage others to do the same because they may not be as fortunate.

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Originally posted by inhighwater

I did not want people to have to listen to two peoples agruement that got totally off the subject of my post. I apologize for my duplicate posting.

 

I also wanted different peoples views that were in different situations.

 

Oh yeah sorry about that. I replied in context with your thread and then she took it off topic.....and I had to defend myself. But like I said in the previous thread. Let her make her mistakes. What she thinks is love right now....is only puppy love. But she blinded. I would say something. Just so you know you did something. If she doesn't listen to you then that's her problem and its going to be her problem when she finds out he likes to run around naked while playing the ukulele. Just sit back and enjoy the show. Now I'm a bitch when it comes to thing's like this. I would tell her not to come to you can cry b/c you told her how you felt and you gave her advice and she didn't take it. So tell her that you don't want to hear her cry when it doesn't work out cause you knew it from day 1

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Originally posted by Treasa

As one of the "two people" mentioned, we DID give you advice. That's no reason to post multiple times, unless you're absolutely obsessed with this woman's life. Stop worrying about it. She may be a friend, but it's none of your business. I know people who have gotten engaged after two months and are still together, years later, and others whose relationships fell spectacularly to pieces. I'm sure you have other things to do than worry about what's going to happen to her.

 

See, getting defensive...We were wrong Treasa leave it at that.

[Fritz]

Well, it sounds like she's in love and foolishly jumping in head first without checking water depth. If she's so bull headed, let her know what you think, gauge it as best you think, and then congratulate her and move on. Just be glad she's not preggers (hell, maybe she is lol). Knew a guy who got a single mom pregnant 3 months into their relationship and married 4 months after that.