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Is my husband jealous or upset ?


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Old 29th January 2018, 9:43 PM   #61
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Look lovelywife, just tell all your men friends that its temporary. Just explain to them that your husband threw a hissy fit, and laid the law down to you (yuck yuck ) and you just need to lay low until he calms down. So no crotch grabbing, or twerking or sexting for a few weeks until you put lovely husband back to sleep, and then it'll be fun fun, fun, fun, until the sun goes down once more.... and besides, even if you do get a Divorce and can no longer be lovelywife, you still can be lovely mistress to all those lovely office hunks... no need to deprive them of their fun after all....after you explain the situation to them I am sure they will understand and back off for the required time...
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Old 29th January 2018, 11:32 PM   #62
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LW I think it might be best for you to see a marriage counselor on your own.

Ask your husband to find one for you. Then explain everything you have done during the three years of your marriage to this person. After the counselor picks their chin off the floor, listen to what they say. Because you have no clue what it means to be faithful. Itís not about rules itís about loving the one you are with. If you did, you would have never acted out the way you have.

He gave you 6 months to realize yourself why the things you were doing were wrong. Hope you are able to figure it out.
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Old 30th January 2018, 11:53 AM   #63
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Does anyone else...

Does anyone else...find it hard to believe that LW has not slept with any of these guys since she has been married?

I am not accusing anyone, I am just asking the question?
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Old 30th January 2018, 12:44 PM   #64
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Does anyone else...find it hard to believe that LW has not slept with any of these guys since she has been married?

I am not accusing anyone, I am just asking the question?
I know women who are sexually liberal, but still have the ability to tell the diference between sexting \ twerking than explicit sex. So yes' it's possible.

Remember, her female friends let her do all this stuff with their husbands because they know her, she's their friend and they probably trust her her. Her husband, however, isn't friends with any of them. Of course he shouldn't trust them, and I think even if he did, her actions alone bother him, without the need to suspect cheating.

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Old 30th January 2018, 5:40 PM   #65
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Maybe. But for her sake I hope this was the wake up call she needs. The husband sounds like a doormat but I suspect there is a cultural aspect to this I'm missing.
Man you are tough. The husband met the OP at the airport with divorce papers and a post nuptial, and told her to sign whichever one that she wants, yet you call him a "doormat"? Just because he does not want to spend much time getting angry and laying down the law for the rest of his life, does not make him weak. When he had enough, he took decisive action.

In the Infidelity section, I am going to regularly start suggesting that OP's in that section hand their out of line spouses divorce papers and post nuptials, and to tell them to sign whichever one that they want. That is just so bad ass. If more posters did what the OP did, many of the treads in the infidelity section would be much shorter.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 9:55 AM   #66
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hi,

yesterday came back to Los Angeles,to spend some time with my husband.

shared my experience with hubby,how i had faced the situations and numerous promiscuous offer from opposite gender and the way i handle those situation.

My hubby passed a comment ,usually he don't pass such comments.

It looks like you are famous amongst men and they are approaching for their entertainment.

i was shocked, what kind of comment is this,

but i said sorry, i just wanted to share those things,not to put you down.

my hubby replied " sometimes, i can be humorous,and he laughed.

i dont know what to tell.

still he is distant and silent, not even holding my husband or giving me hug, not even a kiss,

i am dying of not able to touch him, caress him or making love to him.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 10:23 AM   #67
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Try -- I actually think the doormat finally had enough & is standing up for himself.

LovelyWife

At this point you have a lot to make up for. Do what your husband wants & put your needs on the back burner. Do be flirtatious with him. Listen. Be respectful & devoted to him.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 12:10 PM   #68
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Why don't you ask him directly what you can do to fix the damage you've caused?
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Old 3rd February 2018, 12:47 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
hi,

yesterday came back to Los Angeles,to spend some time with my husband.

shared my experience with hubby,how i had faced the situations and numerous promiscuous offer from opposite gender and the way i handle those situation.

My hubby passed a comment ,usually he don't pass such comments.

It looks like you are famous amongst men and they are approaching for their entertainment.

i was shocked, what kind of comment is this,

but i said sorry, i just wanted to share those things,not to put you down.

my hubby replied " sometimes, i can be humorous,and he laughed.

i dont know what to tell.

still he is distant and silent, not even holding my husband or giving me hug, not even a kiss,

i am dying of not able to touch him, caress him or making love to him.
You still can’t see the problem. You were playing the hotwife and your husband knows it now. These guys coming up to you expecting you to go along with what they wanted just proves it to your husband.

You acted like you were single while married.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 1:00 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
shared my experience with hubby,how i had faced the situations and numerous promiscuous offer from opposite gender and the way i handle those situation.

My hubby passed a comment ,usually he don't pass such comments.

It looks like you are famous amongst men and they are approaching for their entertainment.

The area that I highlighted is your husbands observation of
what other men think of you.

They think (these other men) that you are easy to get in bed
from the way that you act with these other men in public.
Even if your husband is there you act inappropriate with the
other men right in front of your husband.

You will have to stop this behavior and never repeat such
behavior again. You need to keep showing your husband
that your new behavior is permanent by never acting
inappropriate with other men again.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 5:53 PM   #71
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Don't you agree that when a person (especially female) says NO, it's a NO? Even if she has a reputation of that kind, she has the right to say "No more". If she proves that she did say NO in a very clear and unambiguous way... that she doesn't want it any more, the other side must stop, and will find it very hard to defend themselves, while facing a solid evidence of the NO that was clearly pronounced.
I absolutely do. However as you can tell by LW's last post she still is not getting the point of the entire exercise. So how can you expect her to actually even get to a point where it becomes an issue? I mean look at her replies....

That whole scenario isn't even in the equation. The simple fact is that she continued the behavior because she LIKED it.

************************************************** **********


OP, I am sorry, but your head is too far in the clouds to even be close to your husband feeling safe around at present.

I feel sad for you. Your posts would lead most to conclude that you really have no idea what you have been doing to your husband.

You may not have slept with any of these men(cough). However, by even acting out in public like that in front of your husband is pretty much second only to having sex in front of him with another man in the Disrespect My Spouse Department. Some people put up with it for a long time and accept their spouse's conduct as Fate. Some put up with it for awhile, then stop. Some refuse to put up with any of it from the outset.

In due time, your husband may come to the same conclusion and will be one of those who had put up with it and stopped,

You better get your head on straight and get it straight Toot Suite. You can't ask for reconciliation when you don't even understand that your husband is waiting to see what ACTIONS you are taking to make you a safe partner.

He is giving you every opportunity to either redeem yourself or hang by the rope you keep leaving behind you.


OP, you have a very hard road ahead of you. Good Luck
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Old 3rd February 2018, 6:00 PM   #72
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It seems you only know to behave sensual, because you crave attention....low self esteem much? This is how you gotten by throughout your life to be accepted. Time to grow up. You need to shut it off, be mature and respectable. Time to put the french maids outfit into the closet.......in fact just burn it.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 7:25 PM   #73
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Like I said before, I don't think you realize how much you've disrespected and embarrassed your husband. Married men or women, should not be acting the way you've acted around the opposite sex. Again, I don't recall an explanation given by you for why you thought/think it's okay to behave that way when you're married, or in a committed relationship at all.

Your husband was just saying exactly that in fewer words. Men see you as a flirt and most likely an easy lay. Someone to get their jollies off a little maybe, and not much more than that.

I have a feeling someone like you, who seems to have little self or situational awareness, would be extremely surprised and even more hurt if you had any real idea how people in your life truly see you.

If I were in your husbands shoes, I imagine I'd have little respect for you at this point and would be trying to maintain as much dignity and self-respect as possible for my own sake.

As someone else said, maybe ask what you can do to help your husband. And I forgot if you said you were in therapy or not but again I'd recommend it.
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Old 5th February 2018, 8:43 AM   #74
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so finally i told my husband ,we have to be more open and i do understand my acts and texting and flirting were in appropriate,but i will need some time to change those things, for that you have to trust me,

i am ready to work on that, but it seems to be that you are not even ready to put any effort into this.

my husband replied really ? or are you serious ?
then he started laughing.

after that i started crying, he asked me politely to stop crying,

after wards he ordered pizza for us and he fed the pizza through his hand.

i was happy and i asked him, can we sleep together on the same bed and without clothes,

my husband quickly replied no way.

then today early morning i came back to chicago.

i know, its a long way to go for both of us.
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Old 5th February 2018, 9:09 AM   #75
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so finally i told my husband ,we have to be more open and i do understand my acts and texting and flirting were in appropriate,but i will need some time to change those things, for that you have to trust me,

i am ready to work on that, but it seems to be that you are not even ready to put any effort into this.
Three things:

He is not required to make an effort. He is the wronged party. You have to do all the work making it up to him for what you put him through.

He doesn't "have to trust you." You have to earn his trust.

Finally, there is no "time to change." You need to stop flirting like a shameless hussy immediately, right now, not over time. It's an on/off switch.

In your shoes I might send him nightly love letters / emails so he knows you are home thinking about him not out screwing some other guy.

Best wishes. I do hope you can turn this around but I'm not optimistic. You don't seem to understand how gravely you messed up or what is required to fix this & it's not sex or getting naked.
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