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Drama between my parents and wife.


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Old 26th December 2017, 10:20 PM   #46
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Thanks for the comments. Man I wish my parents were more reasonable. My wife is very strong when it comes to standing up for what she believes. Her priority is her children not my crazy parents. It does make me stronger too but always creates a problem with the parentals.
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Old 26th December 2017, 10:27 PM   #47
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Also both parents have stated on the phone with me if everyone is not there for the full week and the 18th they will be disappointed. So whatever I do will create tension and drama. FYI my father still holds grudges with his sister. His father and mother passed not speaking to my dad. Ny dad wonít speak to his sister.
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Old 27th December 2017, 6:16 AM   #48
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Well, it's safe to say your parents didn't hit their 50th by learning the art of compromise. Here's to another 25, however they did it!
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Old 27th December 2017, 6:40 AM   #49
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When they say EVERYONE being there...is your wife included? Can't you go on your own and she stays behind?

I struggle with this...because my folks are all about the grandchildren.

I do feel for those with such difficult parents who feel entitled.

You must stand firm on this and if they continue to behave like immature people.... take a step back from them.

I can't recall if you have siblings...but in my family if my mum was acting this way my sisters would have a word with her.

Which parent wants to fall out with all their kids.

Good job your wife is firm on this .... you just need to be by her side and don't allow your parents to stress her out.

Sadly you have to carry all the stress.
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Old 27th December 2017, 11:11 AM   #50
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And let's say, they give you a perfect example of how NOT to behave with your children...
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Old 27th December 2017, 11:34 AM   #51
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I have two kids, 5 and 3. They will be 6
And 4 by August. All the kids and my wie must be present for the 7 days of the vacation.
I have a brother. Also has had many problems with them. But my brother is slowly turning into my dad. I cant really turn to him. His wife totally understands. But she is weak and lost in the dsyfunction. I like some of the posters have implied used to be weak with them. But I recognize it and posters are right I need to stand with my wife.
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Old 27th December 2017, 12:25 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
50 years!
50 years!
and you, their son is thinking of missing their celebration all for the sake of some child who will not even remember his first day of school.
Your parents will be heartbroken if you are not there.
Why on earth would you even think of asking them to move the date...?
smh

If they are celebrating 50 years they are not young, this may be the last year you even have parents...
Think on...
elaine567,

I am 100% in agreement with you on this! The idea that the 1st couple of days of school are more important than the celebration of a 50 year anniversary is completely absurd to me! 50 years of marriage is extremely rare these days and it should be celebrated and cherished! His parents have gone through the trouble of setting the dates and planning out the events and their son is willing to miss the celebration over 2 days of school!??

The 1st few days of school are not important, itís just meet and greet, socializing, and getting to know each other and the rules/structure of the classroom and teacher expectations; all things that his son will pick up very quickly when he returns to school the week after.

The son will have many 1st days of school, but a 50th anniversary celebration will never happen again!
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Old 27th December 2017, 3:50 PM   #53
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Just to clarify everything I will not miss the anniversary I will be there the whole week with my daughter but my wife and son will miss the first couple days of the vacation and then fly to the vacation for the anniversary party the problem is my wife and son missing half the vacation
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Old 27th December 2017, 8:14 PM   #54
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Originally Posted by todd18us View Post
Just to clarify everything I will not miss the anniversary I will be there the whole week with my daughter but my wife and son will miss the first couple days of the vacation and then fly to the vacation for the anniversary party the problem is my wife and son missing half the vacation
That is not a problem.
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Old 27th December 2017, 8:24 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by todd18us View Post
Also both parents have stated on the phone with me if everyone is not there for the full week and the 18th they will be disappointed. So whatever I do will create tension and drama. FYI my father still holds grudges with his sister. His father and mother passed not speaking to my dad. Ny dad wonít speak to his sister.
Too bad. They are grownups and can deal with disappointment. You're also a grownup and can deal with the fact that not everyone can be satisfied in every situation. You're doing your best and that will have to do.
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Old 27th December 2017, 8:37 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by todd18us View Post
Just to clarify everything I will not miss the anniversary I will be there the whole week with my daughter but my wife and son will miss the first couple days of the vacation and then fly to the vacation for the anniversary party the problem is my wife and son missing half the vacation
They are being ridiculously unreasonable. I'd just say "sorry you feel that way." And leave it at that.
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Old 27th December 2017, 8:40 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by xenawarriorprincess View Post
elaine567,

I am 100% in agreement with you on this! The idea that the 1st couple of days of school are more important than the celebration of a 50 year anniversary is completely absurd to me! 50 years of marriage is extremely rare these days and it should be celebrated and cherished! His parents have gone through the trouble of setting the dates and planning out the events and their son is willing to miss the celebration over 2 days of school!??

The 1st few days of school are not important, it’s just meet and greet, socializing, and getting to know each other and the rules/structure of the classroom and teacher expectations; all things that his son will pick up very quickly when he returns to school the week after.

The son will have many 1st days of school, but a 50th anniversary celebration will never happen again!
Todd will be there, all week with his daughter.

His wife and his son will miss a few days - of vacation.
They will be there, for the actual day of the anniversary and the family celebration.

The first day of school is important. They have found a way to compromise, so that everyone gets to enjoy the important days. So, they miss a few days of the family vacation - his parents are adults and they can get over it already,

Nobody is missing the actual day of the anniversary. If they plan to make is a big thing and cause hard feelings and anger, then that is their choice. If I was the mother of this child, I would be doing the exact same thing.

Last edited by BaileyB; 27th December 2017 at 8:42 PM..
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Old 27th December 2017, 8:44 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by todd18us View Post
Just to clarify everything I will not miss the anniversary I will be there the whole week with my daughter but my wife and son will miss the first couple days of the vacation and then fly to the vacation for the anniversary party the problem is my wife and son missing half the vacation
Because your parents are refusing to accept the compromise of all of you coming for the weekend when you can travel as a complete family but not force your son to miss his first day of school, I wouldn't go at all.

By splitting up you are telling your wife that her needs, wishes & expectations come AFTER your parents, that she's a 2nd class citizen in your marriage. By splitting up you both have to travel singly with a small child. That is a terrible plan. You also have to miss an all important day in your kid's life, one you won't get back. Your parents should be more understanding.
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Old 27th December 2017, 8:51 PM   #59
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[QUOTE=todd18us;7495628]Just to clarify everything I will not miss the anniversary I will be there the whole week with my daughter but my wife and son will miss the first couple days of the vacation and then fly to the vacation for the anniversary party the problem is my wife and son missing half the vacation[/QUOTE]

This seems a reasonable compromise.
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Old 27th December 2017, 9:01 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Because your parents are refusing to accept the compromise of all of you coming for the weekend when you can travel as a complete family but not force your son to miss his first day of school, I wouldn't go at all.

By splitting up you are telling your wife that her needs, wishes & expectations come AFTER your parents, that she's a 2nd class citizen in your marriage. By splitting up you both have to travel singly with a small child. That is a terrible plan. You also have to miss an all important day in your kid's life, one you won't get back. Your parents should be more understanding.
You've made excellent points.
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