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Husband wont talk to my dad?


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Old 4th November 2017, 11:57 PM   #1
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Husband wont talk to my dad?

So it happened that me and my husband had a huge fight and he started yelling and saying insulting stuff to me infront of my dad.My dad wanted to talk to him and calm him down,but when my husband continued to insult me my father lost his temper and insulted him back

Now me and my husband are ok,he says he knows about his faults and will work on that to change.but he wont talk to my father again becaus he insulted him?i told him he is wrong,he reacted like any father would but he doesnt agree,,he says since it was between us 2 he shouldnt have said anything.Now he wont talk to my dad,and i do not know what to do?
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Old 5th November 2017, 4:16 AM   #2
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So it happened that me and my husband had a huge fight and he started yelling and saying insulting stuff to me infront of my dad.My dad wanted to talk to him and calm him down,but when my husband continued to insult me my father lost his temper and insulted him back

Now me and my husband are ok,he says he knows about his faults and will work on that to change.but he wont talk to my father again becaus he insulted him?i told him he is wrong,he reacted like any father would but he doesnt agree,,he says since it was between us 2 he shouldnt have said anything.Now he wont talk to my dad,and i do not know what to do?

If your husband had a daughter he would understand.

Depending on the level of insulting I may have broken a few teeth or small bones of a man doing that to my daughter.

Technically (and I suppose in some religious circles) a marriage trumps parental roles so your husband may have a point, but he was in the wrong in starting this (particularly in front of your dad) and needs to make amends.
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Last edited by dichotomy; 5th November 2017 at 4:19 AM..
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Old 5th November 2017, 4:42 AM   #3
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If your husband had a daughter he would understand.

Depending on the level of insulting I may have broken a few teeth or small bones of a man doing that to my daughter.

Technically (and I suppose in some religious circles) a marriage trumps parental roles so your husband may have a point, but he was in the wrong in starting this (particularly in front of your dad) and needs to make amends.
exactly what i told him but he does not agree.so i have no idea what to do.do i leave it or fight over it ,or what?
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Old 5th November 2017, 5:29 AM   #4
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Adna, I had a quick look at your posting history for context. Your marriage is nothing short of toxic. The thing you should do is leave.

Can you go back home to your parents?
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Old 5th November 2017, 7:02 AM   #5
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Adna, I had a quick look at your posting history for context. Your marriage is nothing short of toxic. The thing you should do is leave.

Can you go back home to your parents?
Another example of why starting new posts is not a good idea.
No background so advice would be faulty.

Based on basil, demand MC, if he won't go, then divorce.
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Old 5th November 2017, 7:04 AM   #6
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exactly what i told him but he does not agree.so i have no idea what to do.do i leave it or fight over it ,or what?
Just give it time for now. See if it works itself out.
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Old 5th November 2017, 9:52 AM   #7
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You husband is NOT OK. He refuses to take any accountability for his poor behavior/anger issues. This is a dangerous road you are on with a man that is in denial.

You need not be sitting on your haunches to see what he does. You have every right to communicate to your husband that his behavior was uncalled for, and should seek out counseling/therapy because he owes it to you, your marriage and relationship with your father. He needs to man up and apologize.

Your father did nothing wrong. He tried to protect his daughter, and properly diffuse the situation like any mature adult would. Obviously your husband didn't respond to that so your father stood up to him, like all of you should. Your husband is the problem, and if you are not careful, he's going to ruin any relationship you have with your father.
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Old 5th November 2017, 10:00 AM   #8
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I agree with basil. How much longer are you going to stay with this terrible man...
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Old 5th November 2017, 8:59 PM   #9
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I agree with basil. How much longer are you going to stay with this terrible man...
It is hard for me to call him terrible since he really helps out as much as i do,almost more with children and house.Our fight i admit usually start because of me,this time it was me that started blaming him why he is still in touch with his best friend because his best friend just recently married and allready shows he doesnt respect his wife and mentions other women in front of my husband .my husband answered thats his bussines i do not care about his marriage life but he is my best friend since childhood important thing is i do not agree with him..but i continued until he lost his temper and started yelling then i called my father and it all continued.Basically when he looses his temper he knows of no limits,this is the only thing that stopped me from divorce(the fact it all starts because of nothing)

Last edited by adna89; 5th November 2017 at 9:06 PM..
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Old 5th November 2017, 9:08 PM   #10
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You husband is NOT OK. He refuses to take any accountability for his poor behavior/anger issues. This is a dangerous road you are on with a man that is in denial.

You need not be sitting on your haunches to see what he does. You have every right to communicate to your husband that his behavior was uncalled for, and should seek out counseling/therapy because he owes it to you, your marriage and relationship with your father. He needs to man up and apologize.

Your father did nothing wrong. He tried to protect his daughter, and properly diffuse the situation like any mature adult would. Obviously your husband didn't respond to that so your father stood up to him, like all of you should. Your husband is the problem, and if you are not careful, he's going to ruin any relationship you have with your father.
I would never let that happen,especially since i know what his mother did to us and he still says she is the best mother for him.He says i can go visit him and he can visit me but he wont
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Old 5th November 2017, 9:57 PM   #11
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It is hard for me to call him terrible since he really helps out as much as i do,almost more with children and house.Our fight i admit usually start because of me,this time it was me that started blaming him why he is still in touch with his best friend because his best friend just recently married and allready shows he doesnt respect his wife and mentions other women in front of my husband .my husband answered thats his bussines i do not care about his marriage life but he is my best friend since childhood important thing is i do not agree with him..but i continued until he lost his temper and started yelling then i called my father and it all continued.Basically when he looses his temper he knows of no limits,this is the only thing that stopped me from divorce(the fact it all starts because of nothing)
Adna, will all due respect... your husband has an issue with anger and this kind of fighting is not normal in a healthy and happy relationship. Don't take responsibility for his bad behavior (ie. the fights start because of me).

I know that you feel stuck in your marriage such that divorce is not an option. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say...
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Last edited by BaileyB; 5th November 2017 at 9:59 PM..
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