LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships

boring sex life


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

Like Tree6Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 5th October 2017, 2:16 PM   #1
Established Member
 
newlywedder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 78
Red face boring sex life

My husband is my only sexual partner and my first. I find the sex between us really boring and want to explore new options. It just feels like a chore when we make love 2-3 times a month now that the baby is born. We only do missionary and me on top sometimes. I can't wait until it is over since I never achieve an orgasm. I only get one if I play with my Hitachi massager down there that I got on Amazon.

How can I spice up our sex life? I have fantasies of being with other men all the time but know I could never pursue that option. We are very religious so I don't know if he will consider porn.

Any help?
newlywedder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th October 2017, 2:59 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1,267
Marriage coach or sex therapist.
Cephalopod is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th October 2017, 3:06 PM   #3
Established Member
 
RecentChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 4,083
Well...

First I am not a huge fan of the wand - it's a beast of a toy and can desensitize you, so be careful with that one.

Do you masturbate with your fingers on your clit? If not, start practicing - because if you can bring yourself to an orgasm that way, it will be easier to incorporate into sex with your husband.

And you don't need porn, you need trust and communication.

Oral sex? Is that part of the equation? Sure fire way to spice things up if not. Start giving him enthusiastic BJs, talk to him how you would like oral as well.

Try new positions, ride him in different ways, reverse cowgirl, or squatting, or lay on him more horizontally.

Ride him and play with your clit - this should be get you closer to an orgasm.

And more and more positions.... You can have him spoon you then guide him in. You could tell him you would like to try doggy position (personally I am not sure if life is worth living without doggy!).

What about sex on the couch or a big chair? One of my faves is to sit him down, crawl up on his lap and ride him while we are face to face - add kissing etc

If you want things to change - start making the first steps - hopefully he will follow your lead. If he resists - time for more talking.

This is your husband, your partner for life, you need to be able to talk about sex with him.
RecentChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th October 2017, 4:19 PM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 38
If you're married you need to be able to have this conversation without placing blame. My wife and I have had this talk a few times and it seems to be the key. You two should be able to play and experiment without expecting anything spectral happening. Have and experimental night try new things don't be afraid to say what feels good and what doesn't.
Mr R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th October 2017, 4:34 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by newlywedder View Post
My husband is my only sexual partner and my first. I find the sex between us really boring and want to explore new options. It just feels like a chore when we make love 2-3 times a month now that the baby is born. We only do missionary and me on top sometimes. I can't wait until it is over since I never achieve an orgasm. I only get one if I play with my Hitachi massager down there that I got on Amazon.

How can I spice up our sex life? I have fantasies of being with other men all the time but know I could never pursue that option. We are very religious so I don't know if he will consider porn.

Any help?
Sounds like you want passion and aggression. People should screw like wild animals that have lost their minds. It's the only way.
Thegameoflife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th October 2017, 4:57 PM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 3,893
Indeed, you don't need porn - you need communication and a sense of adventure.

Recent change has given some good suggestions. Talk with your husband and suggest that you experiment. Nothing too crazy, just try something new. If you haven't done so already, try a new position or try giving and receiving oral. Buy a nice massage lotion and give each other a massage before sex. Even leaving the baby with family and going to dinner and renting a nice hotel room... There is always something new to try...

Most important, is to try these things without expectation - you are just experimenting together... Have fun! Sex should be fun...
BaileyB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th October 2017, 5:47 PM   #7
Established Member
 
RecentChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 4,083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thegameoflife View Post
Sounds like you want passion and aggression. People should screw like wild animals that have lost their minds. It's the only way.
The only way? Naw.... One of many way. Variety is the spice of life. Sometimes slow intimate love making is perfect, sometimes an animalistic F'ing is, and all sorts of things in between
RecentChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2017, 9:47 AM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: India
Posts: 1,574
Hi Folks, shouldn't this thread be in the Sexual matters forum? That said said I think RC has expounded beautifully on the subject with relevant additions by others. As they say, practice makes perfect so get as much practice as you can. OP, you have'nt mentioned whether your husband's libido matches your own. That, too, can play spoil sport. If he has low testosterone levels then he may need to see a doc to get some sort of booster shots or patches.

Also, allure would play a sizeable role in your husband's desire. You could get sexy lingerie, perfumes and other accessories to ramp up excitement in the bedroom. I should think foreplay would also be a very necessary part of working up desire in each other. Foreplay should not be restricted to the bedroom just before you do the deed. It can start in the morning with a kiss or a touch or whatever form of endearment does the job for you. Keep the momentum going after the two of you return from work and gradually build it up till you are ready for bed. Also, if you have fantasies then talk about them to your husband. Ask him for his fantasies. Fantasies can be a big turn on. I would suggest you buy an illustrated copy of the Kama Sutra to spice up things. Have fun.
Just a Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th October 2017, 5:05 AM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: India
Posts: 1,574
Hi Newlywedder, I just went back and read through your other thread. In one of your responses there to someone, describing your assessment of your husband, you said that he is a great lover. That seems in direct contrast to what you are maintaining here on this thread. Lady I think there may be other problems than the ones that you are stating here on these threads. Are you really in love with your husband and do you truly value him as a man and a romantic partner or are you looking for greener pastures? By making confusing posts all you have done is create a doubt in the mind of folks on here. Just be honest with yourself and clear as to what you really want. Wish you well.
Just a Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th October 2017, 6:01 AM   #10
Established Member
 
coolheadal's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 3,102
Quote:
Originally Posted by newlywedder View Post
My husband is my only sexual partner and my first. I find the sex between us really boring and want to explore new options. It just feels like a chore when we make love 2-3 times a month now that the baby is born. We only do missionary and me on top sometimes. I can't wait until it is over since I never achieve an orgasm. I only get one if I play with my Hitachi massager down there that I got on Amazon.

How can I spice up our sex life? I have fantasies of being with other men all the time but know I could never pursue that option. We are very religious so I don't know if he will consider porn.

Any help?
So you are telling me you never achieve an orgasm with your husband. Prior to being with him before marriage did you ever achieve one or did you wait to have sex after marriage. You need to talk to him if you still in love with him. Otherwise your feelings for him don't run that deep enough for him to get you going. Do you feel horny when he touches you down there do feel anything with him. You must have you had a child with him. So you like to be excited enough but your Amazon pleasure tool that achieve your orgasm. It should be your husband doing that to you with his hand, mouth. Do you let him go down on you. No excuse today for a man that can't get his wife/woman off. Before the baby was sex better or was it even worst?
__________________
Age doesn't matter, but Love does matter! Which love it's the magical one "I love you" also I am in love with you" More powerful than anyone age! If you really love that person you are so interested in you would move heavens and mountains to reach them!'
coolheadal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th October 2017, 11:57 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Elswyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 24,797
Quote:
Originally Posted by newlywedder View Post
I find the sex between us really boring and want to explore new options
Have you told him that? If you have, what is his response?

What in particular are you interested in trying?
__________________
~Perfection is about accepting that we cannot control everything and letting go of some of our preconceived notions.~ -Spiritofnow-
Elswyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th October 2017, 10:02 AM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: India
Posts: 1,574
Hi Folks, what happened to the OP? Was she serious about what she wrote or is it something else? Why would someone let their thread lapse if they were really in a spot about what they had posted about in their OP? I'm just wondering.
Just a Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th October 2017, 10:08 AM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,401
You need to tell this to your husband. Have you? Until you talk to him nothing is going to change.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th October 2017, 10:01 AM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just a Guy View Post
Hi Folks, what happened to the OP? Was she serious about what she wrote or is it something else? Why would someone let their thread lapse if they were really in a spot about what they had posted about in their OP? I'm just wondering.
She's a devout religious woman with impure thoughts. She confessed her thoughts to us so that she can be judged, and therefore absolved for her sins.
Thegameoflife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th October 2017, 12:44 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Elswyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 24,797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just a Guy View Post
Hi Folks, what happened to the OP? Was she serious about what she wrote or is it something else? Why would someone let their thread lapse if they were really in a spot about what they had posted about in their OP? I'm just wondering.
Lots of people forget about their threads. The OP has been around since 2014 and her posts appear to be fairly consistent IMO.
Elswyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Living a boring life oberkeat In Search Of... 34 13th December 2015 8:17 PM
My life is so boring... fromlonelytogreat Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being 1 15th November 2008 1:59 PM
Boring life Randy Archive 3 10th September 2001 9:59 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:10 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.