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Wife taking roadtrip from Croatia to Germany with male friend


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 3rd October 2017, 3:00 PM   #16
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Big mistake. I lost a fiancé and girlfriend like that. One thing I learned is that you never let your women hang with men especially out of your sight. Drinking, having emotions to the guy, if only friendship, and loneliness rarely end well.

I have had sex with 4 or 5 married women many decades ago when I was young, horny and foolish. I also had sex with the girlfriends of both my friends and strangers. One lesson I learned is that when it comes to sex, never trust a man with a woman. I even had sex with a girlfriend and a wife, in their house while one was sent to get more beer and the other fell asleep drunk. Both said that they loved their partners but were horny and sex got boring.

My wife had sex with my best friend I had had sex with his wife. Heck, my wife even had sex with three of her friends, all girls. Who would suspect that. My wife is not allowed to be friends with men, travel with men or even go on business trips with men since I had sex with 3 female co-workers on business trips after drinking all night.

I am not rare either as others were doing the same even more frequent than me. Work overtime so she could afford to go alone or with just a girlfriend. For me, since my wife is bi, even having her go away with a girlfriend is not something I would want her to do. I do not go out with girls and took another job that did not involve a lot of travel and drinking all night with co-workers who felt as lonely as I did while spending months overseas.

Too bad so many people have to suffer the consequences of their actions just to do what they think is being open minded. It is a free for all out there and put two people together, especially one who has sex with wives and it will be partially your fault if they do have sex. They probably will but you may never know about it. My wife knows about two girls I had sex with but not the other 10. She never asks and I do not tell. I have no idea of who she has sex with when I am away on the other side of the world for 3 months of the year. I do not care because it has never even caused a ripple in our marriage and kept her happy when I was gone. We were not monogamous because we have not seen it work well for others. For us, as long as a fling is the exception and not the rule and our marriage is held above all else, it is not a deal breaker. As my wife says, what the eyes do not see, the heart cannot feel. The only danger is if they fall in loved and have a full blown emotional affair. We were poly so we were more prepared for the dangers than most are. Even then, I fell in love with my secretary and left my wife for a month before coming to my senses. My wife fell in love with her best friend and moved her into our home. At least she hooked her girlfriend up with me often enough so that I too fell in love and could share her.

As I said, men and women together is stranger danger and even more so when there is at least some emotional feeling, even if friendship. I have seen the most religious of wives who swore to never cheat, cheat under the right circumstances. Of course not all do this but if you show a person on a diet enough deserts, there is a good chance they will try one or two.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 3:21 PM   #17
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If you trust your wife you have nothing to worry about.

There's much projection on here. Not every married women will sleep with a man who hits on here.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 3:27 PM   #18
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I think most of the posters (MALE) missed the part where ANOTHER FEMALE is going with them.

OP, it will be two women and one man, correct?
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Old 3rd October 2017, 3:47 PM   #19
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I think most of the posters (MALE) missed the part where ANOTHER FEMALE is going with them.

OP, it will be two women and one man, correct?
I did not miss any part. For there is the threesome threat.
Then her GF is having a great time and tells the OP's wife
she deserves some fun too, loosen up and party and or the
wife gets envious of the GF and she loosens up. Then
there is always the situation where the GF's BF at the last
moment brings a friend or they run into a friend of the BF.

Before you can say I knew the wife's panties hit the floor
on this vacation.

I seen this story too many times on forums.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 5:42 PM   #20
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If you trust your wife you have nothing to worry about.

There's much projection on here. Not every married women will sleep with a man who hits on here.
This. My guy would trust me to go on a road trip with another male friend and a female friend. And if he didn't then we would have issues. I do not tolerate insecurity and jealousy well at all. And if he wanted to go on a road trip with a female friend? I'd tell him to have fun and text me when he gets there.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 11:18 PM   #21
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Your concerns are JUSTIFIED! But you need to speak with her and express your concerns in a manner that is devoid of accusation. Ultimately though, jealousy is born from mistrust, is there any reason you don’t trust her? Bring up your concerns and tell her that you love her and was worried about him, not her and after this talk, well, you have to place your faith in her and trust that she will honor her commitment to you and your marriage. My wife cheated on me, I forgave her, there are days where I still don’t trust completely and it’s been close to ten years since the incident. But I had to make the decision to trust her completely when I decided to make up and restore our marriage, otherwise it wouldn’t have worked out the way it has. I have to remind myself of this periodically but realistically, you have to trust like you did when you first started dating and were married. I wish you the best, it is difficult, but after the talk, leave it to her and leave it alone. Trust in her.
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Old 4th October 2017, 10:33 AM   #22
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Thanks for the responses. So i looked at her instagram messages, she posted a picture of a cup of coffee. And the guy messaged her and said "you didn't call me?" and he put a confused emoji. I'm starting to get worried. I want to confront her but i want to see more evidence first. I'm beggining to get upset. What should i do?
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Old 4th October 2017, 10:43 AM   #23
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Thanks for the responses. So i looked at her instagram messages, she posted a picture of a cup of coffee. And the guy messaged her and said "you didn't call me?" and he put a confused emoji. I'm starting to get worried. I want to confront her but i want to see more evidence first. I'm beggining to get upset. What should i do?
Does she let you see her IG messages or did you sneak a peek?


Tell her you are not comfortable with this situation and that you do not trust this man. However, you cannot control her nor do you have any desire to do so.


Gently say to her that you have boundaries, and that those boundaries include 1) you will not be cheated on, and 2) you will not have your generosity and good nature taken advantage of. If she steps over those boundaries, then you will do what you need to do to protect yourself and your health and mental well-being, which probably would mean breaking up with her.


And then just leave it at that. This way you have communicated your feelings, communicated your boundaries, and communicated what you will do to protect yourself from being taken advantage of.
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Old 4th October 2017, 10:52 AM   #24
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This. My guy would trust me to go on a road trip with another male friend and a female friend. And if he didn't then we would have issues. I do not tolerate insecurity and jealousy well at all. And if he wanted to go on a road trip with a female friend? I'd tell him to have fun and text me when he gets there.
I disagree.


Jealousy is a perfectly acceptable and valid emotion in any committed relationship. What is a committed relationship worth if the two people in it are not looking out for the well-being of the relationship and protecting it?


Now...if you are talking about possessiveness, that is a different thing altogether. Possessiveness and trying to control your mate are damaging to a relationship.


Having said that, no girlfriend or wife should ever put her mate into a position where he has to watch her go off with a male who he doesn't know or who all the parties know is a player or womanizer. Why would any woman who professes to love her husband or BF do that to him? Is a fun trip really worth ruining a relationship over?


It is all about choosing which battles to fight and which to avoid.
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Old 4th October 2017, 11:08 AM   #25
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I snuck a peak at her instagram. I couldn't help it. Should i stay quiet and wait for more evidence or confront right away
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Old 4th October 2017, 9:26 PM   #26
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I snuck a peak at her instagram. I couldn't help it. Should i stay quiet and wait for more evidence or confront right away
Well, if you decide to confront, never tell her your sources. If you do, they will just go away. She will change her password... If there is time, I would just monitor her social media. They have to be talking in order to coordinate their plans and you can learn a lot from how they interact. Once you have your ducks all lined up, then confront. But friend, I have to say, your wife is either incredibly naïve to have put you in the position you are finding yourself in. Either that or she is actively planning to deceive you...
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Old 5th October 2017, 9:11 AM   #27
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Are you kidding? Evidence? Of what?? This is the most jealous & paranoid thread I’ve ever seen on LS. If your wife has given you no reason to mistrust her, there is no reason for her NOT to share a car ride with another man AND woman. Goodness, do you think she’s so weak that mere proximity to a horn dog will cause her to drop her panties? Sheesh. Trust her to behave appropriately until she doesn’t.
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Old 5th October 2017, 1:57 PM   #28
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OP if you trust your wife then let her go. Don't say anything about the Instagram stuff for now. Watch her behavior after she gets back from the trip. If she is acting weird then you will know something might have happened.


Bottom line is, no one can control their spouse. If someone wants to cheat, they will find a way to cheat. All you can do is control the way you respond to betrayal or lies. You can only control you.
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Old 7th October 2017, 10:55 AM   #29
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Hi OP, how old are you and how old is your wife? How long have you been married? How long will this journey take and is there a might stop over? Also what is the arrangement for the return trip? How close is your wife to this guy and how well do you know him? The fact is that human beings are weak creatures and sometimes, even when they don't want to or expect to, they give in to temptations or do things which they wouldn't in the normal course of things. Also remember sex is a very powerful drive. All I can say is I wouldn't like to be in your position. Warm wishes.
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