grateful heart Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 I live with my ex-husband and have for the past year. We divorced 4 years ago totally because I wanted to end it. Married over 20 years, 3 kids. He had and still has issues with alcohol and anger. Mellowed out after the divorce. Youngest child and I needed a temp. home before moving to another state, long story short, my new job fell through and I ended up having no where to go. Still here. Now daughter wants to finish HS here and I'm stuck. Does anyone else live with their ex and have any advice on what the protocol is when sharing a household with them? And how will I be able to break ties and move out once she graduates? I feel completely stuck! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 Why are you letting a 17 year old dictate your life? She can finish HS there by living with dad. You go live someplace else. You asked in another thread what can you do for yourself. Answer: MOVE. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author grateful heart Posted September 26, 2017 Author Share Posted September 26, 2017 There is no way I would move till she graduates. As you already know by my other thread I have always put my kids first. There is a light at the end of the tunnel with her. She will be out of HS soon. I'm just trying to muddle through till then. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 You don't have to move out of town, just out of the house you currently share with your EX. That is untenable. I get it; it's only 1 year not even just 'til June. Still, don't do it. Rent a room somewhere. Get a roommate. Do anything except live with him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 You don't have to move out of town, just out of the house you currently share with your EX. That is untenable. I get it; it's only 1 year not even just 'til June. Still, don't do it. Rent a room somewhere. Get a roommate. Do anything except live with him. I know divorced couples who have become neighbors for just this purpose. If you can afford it, move out temporarily to somewhere close by. Worry about something more permanent later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author grateful heart Posted September 26, 2017 Author Share Posted September 26, 2017 I am saving money to move out. I know how unhealthy it is to be doing this. There is a reason we divorced Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 Good. Hope you get your new place soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 I have to ask if you are really trying if it's taken you 4 years and you don't have enough saved up to move into a rental. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 Find a job, find another house & move on. Pretty simple really, you say you were looking for temporary accommodation a year ago. What have you done to change things? In your shoes I'd be getting any job I could in the area, and moving out of the house and into a neutral environment, then planning my next move after daughter graduates. Link to post Share on other sites
cocoa342 Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 It would be so hard living with an ex. Don't think you could ever truly get over them completely with having them in your face everyday. You can move out to shared accomodation near by? Link to post Share on other sites
Author grateful heart Posted September 27, 2017 Author Share Posted September 27, 2017 One of the things I love about boards is the honest replies you get. Bottom line is I have moved to an extremely rural area where I know no one. Work from home, have committed to finishing out my daughter's hs career here. Ex and I are amicable. I know this is a completely ridiculous arrangement. I have dug myself a hole and I guess what I was looking for were the steps to begin the process of getting out of it when she graduates. Thanks for all the honesty though! Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 Wow, I understand that the two of you had problems but he gave you a helping hand when needed and all you are doing is complaining. Not one word about how he didn't have to take me in but he did. Just wow. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 As you already know by my other thread I have always put my kids first. And that is probably a part of the reason of why you're divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
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