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In law hell


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Old 22nd September 2017, 5:29 PM   #1
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In law hell

I feel like I'm married to his awful family.

I love my husband from the tips of his toes to the top of his hair BUT I have lost all respect for my him when it comes to his family.

My MIL is the typical MIL from hell. She makes life a living hell if you dare to have a life outside of her. She will yell, demand, manipulate, exaggerate and expects to comes first in both her son's lives.

She pushes myself and my SIL out of the family as much as she can. She won't speak to her sons unless both daughters-in-laws are out of the room.

His brother has stolen around $900,000 from my husband through deception and my husband's kind heart.

In the past and even now my husband puts their needs ahead of his own and usually mine too.

I want to live a life of balance and freedom. We don't have any children of our own and value living a life I can do what I want anytime I want. But we can't because they are so needy. He/we are constantly putting out their fires, they are all drama queens and see them around 3 times a week.

My husband does not like this family but feels incredibly responsible for them.

His idea of escape is us leaving the state after he gets his redundancy. This redundancy has been coming for the last 6 years and I'm at my witts end trying to cope with this toxic family in the meantime.

I no longer know how to cope. Our marriage is wonderful outside of his family and I mean wonderful. In every other way is a fantastic husband, not perfect ( but who is) but it's a joy to spend my days with him.

I have no respect for how childlike he becomes with his family. Letting them pick at him like savages for their own gains. I can't stand it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

We've had SO many fights about this. I want him to act like an adult and put his/our needs ahead of theirs. He feels he does but I am suffering, our business is suffering and quality of life is suffering.

He sees it but he wants to maintain the peace until we leave so that means he gives into them in every way so we can have some peace; ironically there is none anyway.

I don't know how to cope. Anyone have any suggestions?
Sophy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd September 2017, 11:59 PM   #2
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He needs to finally man up and put you first no matter what. To have your back and defend you to his mom.

DO NOT have children with this man until this family drama has been sorted out and you all talk (MIL too). Eventually this has to happen! If not your marriage is doomed to be full of the same crap you're dealing with now.

Your husband has a kind heart but needs to learn to say NO. It's okay to say no once in a while especially since his brother is stealing from him! Why is he so afraid to stand up to his family and start calling the shots. if they don't like it, tough crap for them.
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Old 29th September 2017, 6:21 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophy View Post
I feel like I'm married to his awful family.

I love my husband from the tips of his toes to the top of his hair BUT I have lost all respect for my him when it comes to his family.

My MIL is the typical MIL from hell. She makes life a living hell if you dare to have a life outside of her. She will yell, demand, manipulate, exaggerate and expects to comes first in both her son's lives.

She pushes myself and my SIL out of the family as much as she can. She won't speak to her sons unless both daughters-in-laws are out of the room.


His brother has stolen around $900,000 from my husband through deception and my husband's kind heart.

In the past and even now my husband puts their needs ahead of his own and usually mine too.

I want to live a life of balance and freedom. We don't have any children of our own and value living a life I can do what I want anytime I want. But we can't because they are so needy. He/we are constantly putting out their fires, they are all drama queens and see them around 3 times a week.

My husband does not like this family but feels incredibly responsible for them.

His idea of escape is us leaving the state after he gets his redundancy. This redundancy has been coming for the last 6 years and I'm at my witts end trying to cope with this toxic family in the meantime.

I no longer know how to cope. Our marriage is wonderful outside of his family and I mean wonderful. In every other way is a fantastic husband, not perfect ( but who is) but it's a joy to spend my days with him.

I have no respect for how childlike he becomes with his family. Letting them pick at him like savages for their own gains. I can't stand it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

We've had SO many fights about this. I want him to act like an adult and put his/our needs ahead of theirs. He feels he does but I am suffering, our business is suffering and quality of life is suffering.

He sees it but he wants to maintain the peace until we leave so that means he gives into them in every way so we can have some peace; ironically there is none anyway.

I don't know how to cope. Anyone have any suggestions?
OMG this! Sorry to selective quote, but I was a MIL from hell, too! Luckily it's only my MIL who is the problem; the rest of my husband's family are nice - my FIL especially so.

I've had issues with my husband not standing up for me when his mother has been causing me grief. However, when it comes to standing up for his own issues, there's never any concern there *rolleyes*

I think you need to reinforce to your husband just how bad the situation is with his family. You don't have kids yet which is probably a good thing.

My MIL comes around all the time, I see her at least three times a week and sometimes up to five. She's extremely overbearing and quite simply does my head in!

There's not a lot else that I can offer you by way of advice. Maybe just try to hang tough but make it clear you can't live like this forever and if he doesn't get his affairs in order something will eventually give!

Good luck.
Chardonnay Renée is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th September 2017, 7:28 PM   #4
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He needs to set some boundaries with his family.

Or, you really need to move. One of my coworker's has this problem... They moved thousands of moves away... She says, it was the only thing to do.

I'm sorry.
BaileyB is offline   Reply With Quote
 

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