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another 2 years... and no significant progress


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 5th October 2017, 9:34 AM   #31
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What if you just said "no" to most of her demands and rules - and went about doing what's right for you?

She can leave - thats her choice.
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Old 5th October 2017, 11:51 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
The girl with the camisole/vest top on playing the piano?
Yes, that's the image - thanks for taking the time to look.
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Old 5th October 2017, 12:53 PM   #33
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Yes, that's the image - thanks for taking the time to look.
Well that is a bit ridiculous.
I hardly noticed it on first scanning the page, but I thought it was going to be a bigger more sexualised image, not a tiny pic of a woman playing the piano.
But if she is being triggered by such images the "ridiculousness" will not be getting through to her.
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Old 5th October 2017, 2:11 PM   #34
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You need to go to an educational psychologist and have a full diagnostic study done to determine what you may have. There are a lot of different disorders other than Autism Spectrum Disorders that can cause the behaviors you display: ASD, ADHD, ADD, schizoid personality disorder as well as various phobias.


An educational psychologist shpuld be able to do a fairly accurate assessment of what your issue and how to get help for it.


Right now you are just guessing, and that gets you nowhere.
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Old 6th October 2017, 2:40 AM   #35
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...It is controlling emotional and verbal abuse to the extreme.
Thanks, I hadn't seen it like that. I just saw it as her setting her limits which, I guess after what has happened, she is entitled to do.
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Old 6th October 2017, 1:30 PM   #36
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Thanks, I hadn't seen it like that. I just saw it as her setting her limits which, I guess after what has happened, she is entitled to do.
And you are entitled to decide if those limits are reasonable. Literally every response here has indicated they are not. What do YOU think of her limits? The fact that you started this thread gives me an answer.
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Old 7th October 2017, 10:28 PM   #37
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Dave--This comment may see a bit odd, but I wonder whether she enjoys punishing you. Some rush to divorce, others engage in revenge affairs and some keep bringing the A up to remind the WS that he/she is not a decent human being. (The latter often as a defensive strategy).

But here she wants to control everything you do. She must know that eventually you'll reach your breaking point. Do you think you can reach that point without violence? (Against yourself or
Her) Or will you simply disappear?

You are neither a toddler or puppy needing training. And most people
With toddlers or puppies provide love in addition to instruction and discipline.

Counseling? Spiritual guidance? See a lawyer to learn what divorce is all about? At a minimum keep reading and posting here.
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Old 21st October 2017, 5:03 AM   #38
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This is such an awful environment to be in. Your wife controlling you in this matter will not help the fact that you had an affair. She's clearly very insecure and controlling and both of you must be miserable.

This is an abusive situation and you must leave if your wife will not give you the freedoms that someone deserves in life. You can't be expected to pay for an affair for the rest of your life. If she's unable to move on, then you're going to have to. Without her.
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