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Issues with fiance


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Old 11th September 2017, 4:58 PM   #16
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I'm. It often this blunt, but......

Marry him and you will make one or two people you dont even know yet very happy. Your therapist and your divorce lawyer

And my concern goes beyond his "me Tarzan, you Jane" way of treating you now
He isn't happy with anything unless it's his way. And if he's not happy with anything he doesn't hold it back. He lets it fly directly at you. I suspect you to be a Brit using the word whilst. I think slavery has been illegal in the entire Empire since the 1830's. Do you wish to undue nearly 2 centuries of that rule and become a slave to his every dictate?

Do you have any support you can turn to? You need an up front and personal consultation with a trusted friend or relative who can objectively tell you far better than my meager attempt as to why any continued relationship with this Neanderthal is both futile and damaging.

One last point. Those 5 years are gone. Spent. Vanished. Gone with the wind. Those years are not an investment. Look up "spent costs fallacy" which applies in many areas of life. But here it's about staying because you spent so much time and energy already. A bad way to think.

One last point #2. If you think breaking up is too hard now, just wait until marriage, kids and a mortgage. I think you understand my first line here.
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Old 25th September 2017, 1:55 PM   #17
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Thank you everyone for your helpful replies. After lots of going back and fourth with him and him ignoring me and saying he can't deal with me. We have decided to break up. I am on day 3 of no contact.
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Old 26th September 2017, 9:21 AM   #18
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Get out of the relationship now. This guy has major red flags going on. He wants you to be completely dedicated to him while he is playing the field. The only reason he wanted you to remove all the guys from your life is because he knew that he had side relationships and since he can't trust himself, he would never be able to trust you.
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Old 26th September 2017, 10:31 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cocoa342 View Post
Thank you everyone for your helpful replies. After lots of going back and fourth with him and him ignoring me and saying he can't deal with me. We have decided to break up. I am on day 3 of no contact.
You did the right thing.
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Old 26th September 2017, 2:28 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahurtgirl View Post
Get out of the relationship now. This guy has major red flags going on. He wants you to be completely dedicated to him while he is playing the field. The only reason he wanted you to remove all the guys from your life is because he knew that he had side relationships and since he can't trust himself, he would never be able to trust you.
Thank you, you make a very valid point and we are now over.
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Old 28th September 2017, 9:33 PM   #21
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I am on day 6 of no contact - when does this get easier?
The urge to contact is so strong it's driving me in sane!
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