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Ghosted Over A Year Ago...And It Still Hurts


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Old 20th August 2017, 11:06 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by somanymistakes View Post
When you start getting to the point where you won't believe a word anyone says, though, what's the point of communicating with them at all?

You know, maybe none of us are even having affairs. Maybe we all made them up because we're bored and like to entertain ourselves on the internet.
Not sure what the point of your post is? All I'm saying is why come to a message board a year after the A is over to announce to the world you're happy? Why now? Seems to me the OP is still pissed his exOW dumped him. JMO.
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Old 20th August 2017, 11:42 AM   #47
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That was a transparent post . Well done on ending it and working on your family.

I did ( am doing) almost the same, not writing notes but reminding all the perks of not being in an affair. It makes a lot of sense most of the time but I sometimes still get into tiny traps, reel for an hour or two and get out of them.

On your question... if at all he comes back ( its already been 11 months and he usually moves on quickly, so I dont think he will)... honestly, I will gloat a sec and then tell him to leave me alone because I am not in a stage to trust him again, its was too much pain he made me walk thru.. I am not taking any more chances.. lifes short.

All the best, keep staying strong and soon you will just remember it as an incident and not reel.

Last edited by freengreen; 20th August 2017 at 11:45 AM..
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Old 20th August 2017, 2:29 PM   #48
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Jenkins...

I wonder what your wife would think about this? You posting, talking about your A and your exOW even after all this time has passed?
I know this isn't directed at me, but I feel like I have to address this. It helps me heal to talk about my actions and my recovery. It helps me to listen and empathize with others, be it the OW/OM/BS/Wayward... whatever. It helps me to read all the perspectives and now that I'm working on how judgmental I was, keeps me open to all, whether I agree or not.

People might argue with me on this, but let me put it this way, if you have a spouse in AA, do they come to you and tell you everything that happened in AA? It is sticky because affairs start because of deception, but talking about past experiences is helpful to us waywards.

Mrs. Adam's affair was over 20 years ago. She comes on here and posts and helps others and her husband knows she does it and supports her. She's not posting because she's still thinking or "pining" over the guy, she's posting to help others. She talks about painful things to help others.

My BH knows I post here, knows my user name.. but chooses not to read anymore, that's his choice. But I will stand by every word I've written, even if it's painful for him to read because I try to live as honest as I can now.

So in my round about way, whatever Jenkin's wife thinks (or doesn't think about him posting here about his A) is his business. He is not being dishonest or unfaithful talking about past experiences, he's being honest and helpful to others. I think that goes for anyone here, even the OP posting after a year. We still have feelings and emotions we need to work out. It's okay to think, just not okay to act. To me, that's the big difference. And I think many people forget that.
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Old 20th August 2017, 6:07 PM   #49
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First of all,…thanks for the feedback. Positive and judgmental stuff…all appreciated.


I haven’t posted recently…but I’ve been reading and keeping up. I just want to clear up a couple things…and peeps can take it for what they want…or need to.


I didn’t throw out my xAP like garbage. She Ghosted me….suddenly. I didn’t Ghost her…thus I didn’t toss her aside. It was ME that felt like discarded trash.


If all is marital-bliss…then why am I posting here a yearafter. (I have thought about it.) Marriage is fine…and in good shape. I’ve stated it before…I’m not perfect and not in the market for Glass-Houses. I’m here because I’m struggling with the fact my xAP Ghosted me clean…and I don't know why. Simple as that. It was not a phase out…I did not see it coming. It was a hard, crisp and abrupt Ghosting. That is what’s bothering me. (but I’m getting better each and every day…) I guess I just wish we could have had that final "NC" talk. "This is wrong...we can't do this...I love you, but...........'bye'...."


I made a mistake. I can’t get those years back….but I can damn sure build on the future years. And ensure I don't let history repeat itself.


It was stated that until I come clean with my BS, my marriage cannot be healthy. I see this point…and I won’t dispute it. I feel each situation is different though. If I tell my BS….and give her all the history…I do think she will stay in the marriage….although it will destroy her. What I will be doing….is passing my burden on to her. Now we both are in pain. I’ve researched a lot about whether to “tell BS or not”….and from the professionals....it’s 50/50. My heart and my gut tells me not to tell her. Yes…judge me please…cause one reason I’m not confessing to my BS, IS because I’m protecting my xAP. Yes, I see the hypocrisy in that…and how one can tell me that I’m choosing my xAP over my BS. True….But I will also stick with…the damage it’ll do to my spouse outweighs the benefit of coming clean. I'm not afraid to tell my BS about the A. It's just that the benefit of doing so, in my situation, doesn't make sense....in the whole scheme of things.


Tearing down my xAP in my mind: Yes….I’m trying that. Know why?? Because it HELPS me heal. Just because the A is over….doesn’t mean the feelings stop. I want to forget about her. I’m not angry with her…In fact it’s the opposite. I just want to forget about her. I KNOW that for me to be fully vested with my spouse…I need to get xAP out of my frickin’ mind. You don’t just forget the xAP once it’s over...sans narcissists. There’s a process that needs to occur…and everyone’s situation is different.


Thank you freegreen: I like your words-of-wisdom: “..you will just remember it as an incent…” #Goals


Maybe none of us here are really having affairs: Haha!! I had to laugh…because I’ve wondered a few times how many stories on here are for real???


Now for some Randomness:
I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know how many miles are left to get out of the tunnel...but I see a light at the end. I'm having positive thoughts.


Jenkins: This is very important. I gotta know... Cabernet wine?? (my go-to of choice)


DeadSoul: Change yourusername please…because your soul is far from dead. If it was dead…you wouldn’t be here….and you are quite honestly one of the most logical, intelligent, insightful posters on here…. (nod to you and Jenkins95…and some others.) Souls that are actuallydead….can’t articulate so clearly the rawness of your experience, thoughts and feelings. And your words-of-wisdom to others. I took some notes on your journey. just some random thoughts I had as I read through the pages of your situation.

Final Thoughts:
I heard something today that’s resonating with me a lot.
"...Often time the things that matter the most to you...the things you might need the most.....are often times the very same things that you UNDER appreciate the most...."
Ask yourself...what are those things that you take for granted....that you need the most....yet you go days, weeks, months, years...or more....without actively appreciating them. Maybe that "thing" is your spouse...??? What ever it may be... Dig deep in your soul....find what it is you truly need...and ask yourself if you are living out loud your appreciation. #Gratitude.
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Old 20th August 2017, 6:43 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by Back2Good View Post
First of all,…thanks for the feedback. Positive and judgmental stuff…all appreciated.


I haven’t posted recently…but I’ve been reading and keeping up. I just want to clear up a couple things…and peeps can take it for what they want…or need to.


I didn’t throw out my xAP like garbage. She Ghosted me….suddenly. I didn’t Ghost her…thus I didn’t toss her aside. It was ME that felt like discarded trash.

Ghosting is a cowardly act. Our egos hurt because how could they just throw us out like yesterday's garbage without a second thought? I truly believe that any "residual" feelings I have are my ego from being rejected. Truly.

If all is marital-bliss…then why am I posting here a yearafter. (I have thought about it.) Marriage is fine…and in good shape. I’ve stated it before…I’m not perfect and not in the market for Glass-Houses. I’m here because I’m struggling with the fact my xAP Ghosted me clean…and I don't know why. Simple as that. It was not a phase out…I did not see it coming. It was a hard, crisp and abrupt Ghosting. That is what’s bothering me. (but I’m getting better each and every day…) I guess I just wish we could have had that final "NC" talk. "This is wrong...we can't do this...I love you, but...........'bye'...."

You are looking for closure, and there is a fantastic post about it and I wish I remembered who wrote it. No matter how it ends, you never truly get closure. Those of us who were ghosted seem to need that, but I'm learning that closure comes from within. Closure is when you get to the point where in your head you tell that person, "Thank you for the experience and thank you for the lessons."

I made a mistake. I can’t get those years back….but I can damn sure build on the future years. And ensure I don't let history repeat itself.
exactly

It was stated that until I come clean with my BS, my marriage cannot be healthy. I see this point…and I won’t dispute it. I feel each situation is different though. If I tell my BS….and give her all the history…I do think she will stay in the marriage….although it will destroy her. What I will be doing….is passing my burden on to her. Now we both are in pain. I’ve researched a lot about whether to “tell BS or not”….and from the professionals....it’s 50/50. My heart and my gut tells me not to tell her. Yes…judge me please…cause one reason I’m not confessing to my BS, IS because I’m protecting my xAP. Yes, I see the hypocrisy in that…and how one can tell me that I’m choosing my xAP over my BS. True….But I will also stick with…the damage it’ll do to my spouse outweighs the benefit of coming clean. I'm not afraid to tell my BS about the A. It's just that the benefit of doing so, in my situation, doesn't make sense....in the whole scheme of things.

No judgment. I truly believe that confessing is a personal choice and I do believe you can have a healthy marriage without confessing. Believe me, I read so much crap about it and people are always going to judge one way or another. You and your wife know your relationship and no one else does. I don't believe anyone has the right to say your marriage won't be healthy if you don't do this or that. It's easy for us to stand outside the situation and judge. But I refuse to tell people that just because confessing was right for my situation, it must be right for all situations. Every situation is different and I truly believe that no one else knows what your marriage is except you and your wife.


Tearing down my xAP in my mind: Yes….I’m trying that. Know why?? Because it HELPS me heal. Just because the A is over….doesn’t mean the feelings stop. I want to forget about her. I’m not angry with her…In fact it’s the opposite. I just want to forget about her. I KNOW that for me to be fully vested with my spouse…I need to get xAP out of my frickin’ mind. You don’t just forget the xAP once it’s over...sans narcissists. There’s a process that needs to occur…and everyone’s situation is different.

Exactly. It took me a long, long time to realize that I still had feelings. Hey, I'm human, sue me. I know now that feelings are okay, actions are not. I really struggled with the fact that because I had feelings, I must not be all in for R. My OP was able to just put me out of his head obviously like yesterday's trash. That's great for him and I'm happy he isn't suffering like I was. But I'm not like that and I've come to accept that it's okay. All my life I was told feeling certain ways was bad and just now, in my mid-life, I'm accepting that my feelings are okay. It's my actions that determine my character.

Thank you freegreen: I like your words-of-wisdom: “..you will just remember it as an incent…” #Goals


Maybe none of us here are really having affairs: Haha!! I had to laugh…because I’ve wondered a few times how many stories on here are for real???


Now for some Randomness:
I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know how many miles are left to get out of the tunnel...but I see a light at the end. I'm having positive thoughts.


Jenkins: This is very important. I gotta know... Cabernet wine?? (my go-to of choice)


DeadSoul: Change yourusername please…because your soul is far from dead. If it was dead…you wouldn’t be here….and you are quite honestly one of the most logical, intelligent, insightful posters on here…. (nod to you and Jenkins95…and some others.) Souls that are actuallydead….can’t articulate so clearly the rawness of your experience, thoughts and feelings. And your words-of-wisdom to others. I took some notes on your journey. just some random thoughts I had as I read through the pages of your situation.

My user name is from a Nine Inch Nails song. Except the song is Dead Souls (originally by Joy Division)..... I also was going to choose "Somewhat Damaged" but I figure we all are if we're here. I would love to see your notes and your thinking. It helps me to see other perspectives.

Final Thoughts:
I heard something today that’s resonating with me a lot.
"...Often time the things that matter the most to you...the things you might need the most.....are often times the very same things that you UNDER appreciate the most...."
Ask yourself...what are those things that you take for granted....that you need the most....yet you go days, weeks, months, years...or more....without actively appreciating them. Maybe that "thing" is your spouse...??? What ever it may be... Dig deep in your soul....find what it is you truly need...and ask yourself if you are living out loud your appreciation. #Gratitude.
I very much under appreciated my H and I try each day to specifically notice the things he still does for me, even when I don't deserve it.

Last edited by deadsoul; 20th August 2017 at 9:43 PM..
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Old 21st August 2017, 3:33 AM   #51
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Jenkins: This is very important. I gotta know... Cabernet wine?? (my go-to of choice)
Yes!!

Cabernet Sauvignon Louis de Camponac, 2014. I only wish you and I could get together in person, share a few glasses...and solve the world's problems

I must say, this thread is full of great posts, Back2Good, and I see a lot of similarities between you and I. I am going to read the hole thing today and I will have lots to say I'm sure.

Good luck Back2Good, and keep posting!
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Old 21st August 2017, 4:27 AM   #52
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Jenkins...

I wonder what your wife would think about this? You posting, talking about your A and your exOW even after all this time has passed?
Hi (((TurningTables))), how are you today?

I think deadsoul and Back2Good have pretty much covered my response in the excellent posts they made following yours yesterday. But here are some of my thoughts to add: -

Basically, I am a fragile, broken person. I’m damaged goods and this is my own fault for making bad life choices and not respecting boundaries. I come to LS for comfort and support, and also to try to support others and give the benefit of my experience. As time goes on, it tends to be less of the former (support for me) and more of the latter (me supporting others), which is a natural progression I guess. So, anyway, why am I “damaged goods”?: -

1. Having been a "good" man for basically 40 years, I suddenly did something crazy, destructive, selfish, damaging, irresponsible and totally out of character. I need to understand why.

2. I hurt my wife very badly and risked her and my family's stability. I want support to understand the best way of repairing all this.

3. An OW also got hurt because of my actions. There is rightly no contact between us and I truly hope she is happy and will have a great life. The fact that I am in genuine reconciliation on my marriage and am giving it everything does not mean that I don't still think about her and feel regret for how she, along with many other people was hurt. One of the reasons I tend to "hang around" the OW/OM forum is because this is the part of my own A that I no longer have access to - because we are in permanent NC and rightly so. The pain I caused my wife, the risks I took on my family, the recovery, hope, etc. - I see those right in front of my face every day, but the xOW is no longer accessible to me. I therefore like to read other OW stories to try to understand and send supportive message to OW when I can. I hope that if my own OW sought help on the web, that she was supported in a similar way.

4. I hurt myself! As well as all the other people that were impacted by my actions, I am very damaged and hurt myself and I feel comfort being here. I used to be a confident, happy-go-lucky, calm man at peace with the world. An affair tends to undo all that! But I am, very slowly, getting back to my old self!

So that, in summary, is why I am here. The fact that I am still here two years after the end of my A does not mean that my reconciliation is not genuine, because it is. But it does show that the damage from affairs can last a long time. I am a long way from fully recovered. Also, despite how it may often appears, many MM (and I think Back2Good also fits into this category) do not just forget about the OW and move on immediately. Even though our relationship was selfish and inappropriate, genuine feelings developed and they cannot be just switched off. In fact, I no longer want to switch them off, I now accept that my xOW will always occupy a place of affection in my mind. I often now smile at some of the memories (they no longer hurt so much), and as I said, I wish her nothing but the best. She is just a good person who made bad, selfish choices – just like me! And this does not in any way undermine my reconciliation with my wife and family at home. In fact, it feels a little like acceptance - a certain level of peace. Peace which I haven't felt for a very long time.

As for what my wife would think. Well, she knows I use the internet a lot for support. It was her choice after D-day that we did not get counselling. I wanted to, but I respected her choice and she accepts and encourages my use of the Internet for support. In my writing, I tend to support reconciliation where I see hope, try to encourage people to get out of toxic affairs and I try to give comfort and hope to BS, WS and OW/OM alike. I think my wife would be very happy with the stance I take in my posts because it supports my own actions in going into reconciliation. I also like to think that my xOW would approve of my posts because they are consistent with the exact reasons I gave her as to why I didn't want to give up on my marriage and also that SHE could have a far better life by NOT getting mixed up in my MLC and my circus.

Wishing you all the best guys!
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Old 21st August 2017, 4:51 AM   #53
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Thank you for your honest answers. As an xOW I can't help but get angry at your answers. Did my MM hurt me this much then Throw himself back into his marriage?! Is he having sex 3 times a week now?! And if your marriage is so good you can't possibly still have feelings for Ow!!!

Sorry just letting off steam
Hey Jemima. I know Back2Good's answers hurt and angered you. But as an xMM myself, I don't think it is as black and white as you are saying. If it's anything like my situation, and I think Back's, yes, your xMM is trying to honestly reconcile his marriage, and much as this may hurt at a personal level, it has to be a good thing in the long run, doesn't it? I mean wouldn't it be even worse if he's ended your affair and then gone into false R...or ended it completely and become single, still not choosing you?

As for the sex, well, that's a difficult one. I doubt they are suddenly having amazing, "new" sex several times a week. It takes a while to build up trust and intimacy and the shadow of infidelity affects things for a long time. Also, as with any relationship, sex becomes less exciting with time - this is just natural. I imagine that their sex life may be steady and loving and they are probably making an effort, but it's probably nothing like the excitement, urgency and general hormone-fest of an affair!

And, most of all, please don't think he's forgotten you and just "got over you" immediately. Let me quote something from a post I wrote earlier today: -

"Also, despite how it may often appears, many MM (and I think Back2Good also fits into this category) do not just forget about the OW and move on immediately. Even though our relationship was selfish and inappropriate, genuine feelings developed and they cannot be just switched off. In fact, I no longer want to switch them off, I now accept that my xOW will always occupy a place of affection in my mind. I often now smile at some of the memories (they no longer hurt so much), and as I said, I wish her nothing but the best. She is just a good person who made bad, selfish choices – just like me! And this does not in any way undermine my reconciliation with my wife and family at home. In fact, it feels a little like acceptance - a certain level of peace. Peace which I haven't felt for a very long time."

Some narcissitic MM are able to flick a switch and move on immediately, but most of us are just normal people, lost, confused, hurt and vulnerable. Even if we chose our marriages, this doesn't mean we have zero feelings for the other person.

I wish you all the best Jemima. Keep posting x

Last edited by jenkins95; 21st August 2017 at 5:13 AM..
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Old 21st August 2017, 2:41 PM   #54
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Hey Jemima. I know Back2Good's answers hurt and angered you. But as an xMM myself, I don't think it is as black and white as you are saying. If it's anything like my situation, and I think Back's, yes, your xMM is trying to honestly reconcile his marriage, and much as this may hurt at a personal level, it has to be a good thing in the long run, doesn't it? I mean wouldn't it be even worse if he's ended your affair and then gone into false R...or ended it completely and become single, still not choosing you?

As for the sex, well, that's a difficult one. I doubt they are suddenly having amazing, "new" sex several times a week. It takes a while to build up trust and intimacy and the shadow of infidelity affects things for a long time. Also, as with any relationship, sex becomes less exciting with time - this is just natural. I imagine that their sex life may be steady and loving and they are probably making an effort, but it's probably nothing like the excitement, urgency and general hormone-fest of an affair!

And, most of all, please don't think he's forgotten you and just "got over you" immediately. Let me quote something from a post I wrote earlier today: -

"Also, despite how it may often appears, many MM (and I think Back2Good also fits into this category) do not just forget about the OW and move on immediately. Even though our relationship was selfish and inappropriate, genuine feelings developed and they cannot be just switched off. In fact, I no longer want to switch them off, I now accept that my xOW will always occupy a place of affection in my mind. I often now smile at some of the memories (they no longer hurt so much), and as I said, I wish her nothing but the best. She is just a good person who made bad, selfish choices – just like me! And this does not in any way undermine my reconciliation with my wife and family at home. In fact, it feels a little like acceptance - a certain level of peace. Peace which I haven't felt for a very long time."

Some narcissitic MM are able to flick a switch and move on immediately, but most of us are just normal people, lost, confused, hurt and vulnerable. Even if we chose our marriages, this doesn't mean we have zero feelings for the other person.

I wish you all the best Jemima. Keep posting x
Thank you Jenkins this post is hugely helpful to me! It really helps me understand the mind of xMM. I still struggle with one thing - if he truly loved me then how can he love his wife and be intimate with her? I know crazy thoughts eh!
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Old 21st August 2017, 6:35 PM   #55
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"My user name is from a Nine Inch Nails song. Except the song is Dead Souls (originally by Joy Division)..... I also was going to choose "Somewhat Damaged" but I figure we all are if we're here. I would love to see your notes and your thinking. It helps me to see other perspectives."

NIN and Joy Division, be still my beating heart. Excellent. No wonder you are so deep.

Your honesty and self-reflection is refreshing.
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Old 21st August 2017, 7:30 PM   #56
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Hi (((TurningTables))), how are you today?

I think deadsoul and Back2Good have pretty much covered my response in the excellent posts they made following yours yesterday. But here are some of my thoughts to add: -

Basically, I am a fragile, broken person. I’m damaged goods and this is my own fault for making bad life choices and not respecting boundaries. I come to LS for comfort and support, and also to try to support others and give the benefit of my experience. As time goes on, it tends to be less of the former (support for me) and more of the latter (me supporting others), which is a natural progression I guess. So, anyway, why am I “damaged goods”?: -

1. Having been a "good" man for basically 40 years, I suddenly did something crazy, destructive, selfish, damaging, irresponsible and totally out of character. I need to understand why.

2. I hurt my wife very badly and risked her and my family's stability. I want support to understand the best way of repairing all this.

3. An OW also got hurt because of my actions. There is rightly no contact between us and I truly hope she is happy and will have a great life. The fact that I am in genuine reconciliation on my marriage and am giving it everything does not mean that I don't still think about her and feel regret for how she, along with many other people was hurt. One of the reasons I tend to "hang around" the OW/OM forum is because this is the part of my own A that I no longer have access to - because we are in permanent NC and rightly so. The pain I caused my wife, the risks I took on my family, the recovery, hope, etc. - I see those right in front of my face every day, but the xOW is no longer accessible to me. I therefore like to read other OW stories to try to understand and send supportive message to OW when I can. I hope that if my own OW sought help on the web, that she was supported in a similar way.

4. I hurt myself! As well as all the other people that were impacted by my actions, I am very damaged and hurt myself and I feel comfort being here. I used to be a confident, happy-go-lucky, calm man at peace with the world. An affair tends to undo all that! But I am, very slowly, getting back to my old self!

So that, in summary, is why I am here. The fact that I am still here two years after the end of my A does not mean that my reconciliation is not genuine, because it is. But it does show that the damage from affairs can last a long time. I am a long way from fully recovered. Also, despite how it may often appears, many MM (and I think Back2Good also fits into this category) do not just forget about the OW and move on immediately. Even though our relationship was selfish and inappropriate, genuine feelings developed and they cannot be just switched off. In fact, I no longer want to switch them off, I now accept that my xOW will always occupy a place of affection in my mind. I often now smile at some of the memories (they no longer hurt so much), and as I said, I wish her nothing but the best. She is just a good person who made bad, selfish choices – just like me! And this does not in any way undermine my reconciliation with my wife and family at home. In fact, it feels a little like acceptance - a certain level of peace. Peace which I haven't felt for a very long time.

As for what my wife would think. Well, she knows I use the internet a lot for support. It was her choice after D-day that we did not get counselling. I wanted to, but I respected her choice and she accepts and encourages my use of the Internet for support. In my writing, I tend to support reconciliation where I see hope, try to encourage people to get out of toxic affairs and I try to give comfort and hope to BS, WS and OW/OM alike. I think my wife would be very happy with the stance I take in my posts because it supports my own actions in going into reconciliation. I also like to think that my xOW would approve of my posts because they are consistent with the exact reasons I gave her as to why I didn't want to give up on my marriage and also that SHE could have a far better life by NOT getting mixed up in my MLC and my circus.

Wishing you all the best guys!
Jenkins. This post right here represents why you are desperately needed on message boards such as this one. You put yourself out there so raw and so honest and you own it all. The insights you have help so many (I'm one of them! If there's a groupie club, sign me up) and I aspire to pay it forward. I'm not quite in the place you're at, but I know now I'm going to get there, where as just a few months ago, didn't think it was possible.

I remember in your early days here (when I was a wee lurker), you took a lot of heat, but you took every bit of it and responded to every bit of it as well. Many people just up and leave, but you didn't. You stayed, listened to the good and the bad and I truly think that's one of the things that help you move forward. I know you still have challenging days, as I do too, but I'm in such a better place than I was exactly a year ago. And I finally have hope that next year at this time will be even better.

In no way are you hurting your spouse posting here. I refuse to believe that. I really think it is part of your healing, what makes you a better husband, father and man.

You, Midnight, Southern and quite a few others... you've always put it out there, the good and the bad and you've taken your share of lumps, but you've all reached places that I'm working a day at a time to get there.

So i thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all are like my AA. Or should I say, CA (Cheaters' Anon)

Sorry for the thread jack OP.
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Old 21st August 2017, 7:33 PM   #57
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"My user name is from a Nine Inch Nails song. Except the song is Dead Souls (originally by Joy Division)..... I also was going to choose "Somewhat Damaged" but I figure we all are if we're here. I would love to see your notes and your thinking. It helps me to see other perspectives."

NIN and Joy Division, be still my beating heart. Excellent. No wonder you are so deep.

Your honesty and self-reflection is refreshing.
Music is in my blood... All types. Except Country. I just can't do country (sorry, not sorry). Go figure, I'm the most drawn to the darkest ones with demons in their souls like mine.
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Old 21st August 2017, 10:05 PM   #58
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Same--no Country for me. Music is one of my greatest passions. Can totally relate to your tastes in music and men. If you like Joy Division you may listen to Interpol. Another great (baritone) voice is Matt Berninger of "The National" esp the LP "The Boxer". Trent's "Something I can Never Have (Still)" on piano in candelight is one of my all time favorites performances.

Oh what is it like to only stick your toe in the kiddy pool and stay out of the deep end?

Sorry for the thread jack LS.

Last edited by Doublegold; 21st August 2017 at 10:08 PM..
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Old 21st August 2017, 10:27 PM   #59
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Same--no Country for me. Music is one of my greatest passions. Can totally relate to your tastes in music and men. If you like Joy Division you may listen to Interpol. Another great (baritone) voice is Matt Berninger of "The National" esp the LP "The Boxer". Trent's "Something I can Never Have (Still)" on piano in candelight is one of my all time favorites performances.

Oh what is it like to only stick your toe in the kiddy pool and stay out of the deep end?

Sorry for the thread jack LS.
Uhhhh... Something I can never have on piano is my absolute favorite song from Trent/NIN. I have watched that video countless times. Trent wrecks me with that song. Absolutely wrecks me. Other one is the piano version of The Fragile.

I will check the suggestions out, I'm always looking for "new" music.

Sorry OP! I swear, we will get back on topic. How are you today ? ;-)
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Old 22nd August 2017, 7:01 AM   #60
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Uhhhh... Something I can never have on piano is my absolute favorite song from Trent/NIN. I have watched that video countless times. Trent wrecks me with that song. Absolutely wrecks me. Other one is the piano version of The Fragile.

I will check the suggestions out, I'm always looking for "new" music.

Sorry OP! I swear, we will get back on topic. How are you today ? ;-)
Oh Puhleeeezzzzz....... HIJACK away!!
deadsoul: My favorite NIN song is "Closer." Not for just the reason(s) you might think.... Although I do love the animalistic approach of the song... But those lyrics tho! "..I've got no soul to sell..." "..help me get away from myself.." That song is really more about self-destruction and not about how he wants to fk her. But really,....the reason that song is my favorite NIN is I saw them in concert August 2008... The way they presented "Closer"....was mind blowing. It was sensory overload with how they used the lights...fog, effects...instruments. To see it live....was just simply unexplainable. Trent performs as if he's performing for the very fist time in front of a crowd. I've seen so many established bands that are just seemingly lazy in their performance..(looking at you steven tyler.)


Music is a HUGE part of my life.....daily! I'm a musician...been in bands and all that stuff....and strive to grow/improve my abilities every single day ...


Btw.... My username also comes from a song.


So YES!!!....HiJack away Doublegold & deadsoul...
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