Lucybee31 Posted July 18, 2017 Share Posted July 18, 2017 (edited) I don't know where to start. I love my husband very much did something that broke my trust and left me heart broken . I found he looked at woman on the Craigslist personal ads. Of course he first denied it but I got him to admit it but at first he claimed it was not what I think. He also admitted he lies to me because I can not handle the truth. He told me I act emotional and cry a lot so it causes him to need a escape. So I asked him if he would have sex with these woman and he said he would snap and yes. Then he changed his answer to no immediately. I don't know what to do. He is a amazing husband loving caring, he listens to me, comes home every night and takes great care of me. We have only been married a year. I only caught him looking but not acting. In the past he would look at woman on fb and I would cry about it. But I'm still so heartbroken and can't look at him the same. I'm sincerely lost and need advice. Edited July 18, 2017 by Lucybee31 New title Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted July 18, 2017 Share Posted July 18, 2017 He blamed YOU for his own actions, that's a huge red flag this will never get better. He's got no accountability to himself for his ****ty behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucybee31 Posted July 18, 2017 Author Share Posted July 18, 2017 He apologized but he Did turn it on me and my faults Link to post Share on other sites
avvril3000 Posted July 18, 2017 Share Posted July 18, 2017 LEave him. it's not going to get better. This is just the start. If after only one year, he is already thinking of being unfaithful, i'm sorry honey but its not going to be fun. Save yourself and your heart, and do the leaving before he REALLY hurts you. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 18, 2017 Share Posted July 18, 2017 (edited) I found he looked at woman on the Craigslist personal ads. Of course he denied it at first. He also admitted he lies to me because I can not handle the truth. He told me I act emotional and cry a lot so it causes him to need a escape. I asked him if he would have sex with these woman and he said he would snap and yes. Then he changed his answer to no immediately. I don't know what to do. Of course, he denied looking at the women on Criag's list personal ads... Until he admitted that he did it, and blamed you. Somehow, it was your fault that he was looking for sex with other women on the Internet. If you didn't get emotional and cry, then he wouldn't need to escape... And then, he wouldn't need to lie to you... After all, he's lying to you to protect you from the harsh truth (that he is trolling for sex on Criag's list). And, he said he would have sex with other women... "No, wait... That sounded wrong... No, I what I meant to say... Of course, I would never have sex with these women..." But, you just don't know what to do? Really? Darling, do you see how ridiculous this sounds? You caught him trolling the personal ads looking for women to have sex with - it probably wasn't the first time and he pretty much told you that he would do it - if he hasn't already done it. And then, he had the nerve to blame you for his bad behavior when he was caught. You are a silly woman if you stay with this man. I would never trust him again... I'm sorry, I just would never trust this man again. It's not the fact that he was looking at the personal ads as much as his answers to the questions you asked him. There is absolutely no accountability for his behavior. That is a BIG RED FLAG! Think about the STD's he could bring home to you? Think about how hard it will be to divorce and raise two children as a single mother if you stay and he actually does what he said he would do... I would leave now, before it gets even harder. I'm so sorry... Edited July 18, 2017 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 18, 2017 Share Posted July 18, 2017 In the past he would look at woman on fb and I would cry about it. That was the time to leave, but you loved him and he wouldn't do it again and now you are married and he is up to his old tricks... DO NOT wait till you are pregnant or with three kids, get out now whilst you are still young and find a man who IS husband and father material because this one surely ain't.. Link to post Share on other sites
j2415p44 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 I’m so sorry that you feel that way. Please talk to your husband and tell all your concerns. According to an article, good communication is a lifeblood of successful marriage, so when spouses stop talking at a deep level, their marriages slowly begin to die. If you both want to make your marriage work, this can be fixed. I would like to encourage you to forgive your husband because forgiveness is important for any marriage to bloom. Hoping for the best in your marriage, praying for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ahurtgirl Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Having been on Craigslist personals as a female, I want to advise you to not walk but run from him. I have talked to many men and their intentions are never just to look. I purposely had done this to catch my ExMM talking to more married women on Craigslist. I set up fake ads and caught him over and over. I found many other men responding to the ads also and I would test them to see how far they were actually willing to go. Almost all of them tried to move things a long so they could try to meet up. I stopped responding at those points. Guanteed... If he is looking at personal ads in CL, you have yourself a cheater. Set up a fake ad and catch him. He might use a different email account and a fake name too. You might have to gain his trust through numerous correspondences. Eventually they all will tell you who they are and then you will have your proof. Link to post Share on other sites
xenawarriorprincess Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 What do you mean by “In the past he would look at other women on FB”? Was he just searching FB profiles and getting some eye candy? Or was he messaging them and attempting to contact them? And if you knew he was looking at other women on FB and it would upset you to the point of tears, why did you allow it and why are you so shocked now? He’s doing the same thing he did before except now he is using a different website, so what’s the difference? Also, if he is acting in a way that you find completely inappropriate, why then say that he is an amazing and loving/caring husband? Based on what you have written, it appears that you are feeling hurt, betrayed, and conflicted……none of those coincide with a husband who is treating his wife in an amazing or loving/caring way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JHandy Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 In my previous life, I did what your husband is doing. There is nothing loving or caring about it. I wanted to check out what was out there because I wasn't happy. My former wife and I were in marriage counseling but it didn't help. We both wanted different things. Id do some marriage counseling for a bit to see if there are things you both can do to find some common ground. He's not happy and you're justiably hurt and untrusting. In spite of my first marriage, I believe there is always a solution to keep a marriage going and going even stronger than before. I've learned this in my current marriage. It might be interesting for you to learn what he wants from you and conversely he may be pleasantly surprised to find out what you want from him in each of your perfect worlds where you let your inhabitions and convention go. But if you want to leave this martiage behind, you are fully justified at this point to do so. He hasn't done himself any favors. If he hasn't cheated yet, he's definitely got his sites on it. Otherwise he wouldn't be checking. Link to post Share on other sites
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