Kejiiraa Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 Because the person I loved more than anything lied to me for a year. I'm so depressed. I want out. I want a divorce. How could he do this to me? I lost my car today because he lied to me for a year about our finances. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 That's terrible, I feel really sorry for you. Let me guess, gambling or credit card spending? I think there's a special place in Hell for people who do this to a spouse. Are you working? If you are then maybe you have a kind friend who can put you up until you save enough to rent your own place, or family who will help you until you get on your feet? Whatever happens just remember that this awful moment will pass soon enough. Sounds lame when you're about to lose everything you've worked for, but life will go on. Most important thing is to remember it's not your fault and put your mind to looking to make sure you don't get saddled with any debt that he's run up. I hope you're OK. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 If he is in debt, make sure you are not liable for it. Did you sign any loans for him ? Get an attorney asap Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 Get an attorney Work with the bank & make sure to talk to the IRS. He probably didn't pay the taxes either. Oftentimes they have innocent spouse relief because you really didn't know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kejiiraa Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 Thanks guys for the advice. I didn't sign any loans for him, but we were both in on the mortgage payment. Now we are fighting because he is upset with me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kejiiraa Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 Didn't end up losing the house. The mortgage company is working for us. I lost my car though. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 You need to tell how you got where you are and then we can help you get to where you need to be and to prevent a repeat of this again. All we can do now is read about you venting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 You need to tell how you got where you are and then we can help you get to where you need to be and to prevent a repeat of this again. All we can do now is read about you venting. She's made TWO posts. And while it is prohibited in other places, I am assuming venting is allowed here. OP, I am so sorry you are going through this. The fear that comes with financial distress, especially when you had no clue it was coming, is terrible. Your husband is upset with YOU? Don't let him flip this on you. Was he the one who was supposed to be in charge of paying things and he just lied? Does he also have a problem that causes him to spend (gambling, addiction, etc.)? I do echo the advice to see an attorney and contact the IRS. Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I would make sure those mortgage payments are made and on time from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 She's made TWO posts. And while it is prohibited in other places, I am assuming venting is allowed here. OP, I am so sorry you are going through this. The fear that comes with financial distress, especially when you had no clue it was coming, is terrible. Your husband is upset with YOU? Don't let him flip this on you. Was he the one who was supposed to be in charge of paying things and he just lied? Does he also have a problem that causes him to spend (gambling, addiction, etc.)? I do echo the advice to see an attorney and contact the IRS. Do not put words or your meanings into what I said to the OP. I did not say it was wrong to vent. I did not say for her to not vent. I pointed out that OP only venting makes it difficult for us to give the best helpful advice possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Kejiiraa, I am going to assume somethings. Your post does not leave much information, but maybe I can be of help. First, you have every right to be angry. Betrayal, lying and placing the family in financial danger is a form of infidelity, and is more of a cause for divorce then cheating. Your feeling of being lost, not knowing just what to believe from your husband are real, and painful. Do not think that because he did not cheat on you physically with another women, does not mean your faith in him and your marriage is shattered. Second, what to do. It is the same as in sexual infidelity, he must be transparent. He must let you control the money in the marriage, until he recovers some of your trust. He must show by his actions that he knows and is remorseful for what he has done. If you divorce him, gather the evidence, as while the law just does not care if cheating has gone on, are you in the US?, they will weight his action on your joint finances seriously, and take that into account. You will have more fire power to come out with the assets, and him the debts. Keep that in mind. Also, if you gather evidence, the IRS will forgive any tax issues if you can prove what he did, was with out your permission or knowledge. There are things that you can do. See a Lawyer, and a account. Third, please post more of your story, and if you think you may want to reconcile, or divorce. We can be of more help then. I wish you luck...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kejiiraa Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 I'm reconciling. Don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I don't trust men. That's for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Be careful. Sign a contract or something that you won't be liable for any of his debts etc. He has done it once , he will most likely do it again. Keep your finances separate for a long time from now on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I'm reconciling. Don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I don't trust men. That's for sure. Why would you reconcile with someone who lied about finances for a year? That makes absolutely NO sense to me. Plus, you say you don't trust men. Your husband is a man, so why are you reconciling with someone you don't trust? You will up in this EXACT same position again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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