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Snooped phone and found things from past


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 9th November 2017, 12:06 PM   #61
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Get over it and put this one did bed....she had no contract with you during that era. Everyone has sins from the pre marriage days...
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Old 11th November 2017, 12:21 AM   #62
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At the end of the day, she was banging other guys, and lied or "Misled" him about BANGING other guys !.
Period !.


Your off to a good start, with a liar, and cheat, cause she cheated with you , and then TOO you.


If she wanted to continue seeing other guys, she should have said so.
The fact she kept it secret is evident, and she sees these acts as non worrying.


But hey, I'm not the one getting married.. You are.


Maybe hold off till your over it, either way.


Till then, don't make mistake No. 2.




Ted.
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Old 11th November 2017, 8:17 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by standtall View Post
Get over it and put this one did bed....she had no contract with you during that era. Everyone has sins from the pre marriage days...
Get over her sins against others is one thing. Her sins against
the OP is a different story.
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Old 11th November 2017, 8:25 AM   #64
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As sure as one can be. My gut felt it before, and my gut was obviously right. My gut doesnít feel it now. I donít sense anything other than openness. Itís not done as a rule or anything, but there is no harm in using each otherís phones, iPads, etc. No hesitation to leave the phone on the bed with me while she is in the shower. No unaccounted for off-grid moments, etc. I feel secure now, mostly in that I believe my radar was easily set off previously. But admiringly, one can never fully 100% know. So in my mind, I am not in a bad place with her at all. Just some air to clear on the time period when this began that I think we both would eventually benifit from.
I miss the update till this morning. My thoughts is she read the
whole email bit denies doing so because she does not want to
admit to her cheating and her justifications to cheat.

Tell her you need her to finish reading that email today
and discuss it by lunch time today.

What is your response going to be after she owns up
to all of her cheating on you and if she reveals that she has
cheated on others before?
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Old 13th November 2017, 1:42 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by road View Post
I miss the update till this morning. My thoughts is she read the
whole email bit denies doing so because she does not want to
admit to her cheating and her justifications to cheat.

Tell her you need her to finish reading that email today
and discuss it by lunch time today.

What is your response going to be after she owns up
to all of her cheating on you and if she reveals that she has
cheated on others before?
She has been open to me that she has cheated before on others (outside a marriage), and so have I. We have been been clear with each other about this. And we have both had long conversations exploring the 'why' with each other. We have learned a lot about ourselves. I accept those things about her because I understand them quite thoroughly and have had the chance to ask any questions I had to really understand (and still can ask any time, which sometimes both of us do).

And it is not that I am un-understanding or crushed by what happened early in our relationship. I can understand why she had concerns that until my divorce was signed that she may be investing in something that wouldn't pan out. She never claimed to be exclusive with me at the time....her error came in telling me down the road that she HAD been exclusive with me when she wasn't. She wanted to paint a nicer picture of our developing relationship that was the reality.

So, I understand it, and I accept it. What I want now is to give it the conversation it deserves so it isn't a bad kept secret between us but instead is something we accept and move beyond together.
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