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Is he watching porn?


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My husband works from home and so I am the one that usually leaves for work in the morning. This morning I forgot something and circled back to our house. He was still laying around on the bed (which is normal) but I did notice he's wearing his glasses. Then when he got up and greeted me, I hear voices. Turns out there was a video playing on his iPhone. He went back to the bedroom to turn it off. I didn't get to see anything but I hear a girls voice. Is he watching videos of other girls or porn? This is bothering me a lot and when I asked what it was, he said it must be an ad playing and he's not sure how it popped up and started playing What are your thoughts?

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My husband works from home and so I am the one that usually leaves for work in the morning. This morning I forgot something and circled back to our house. He was still laying around on the bed (which is normal) but I did notice he's wearing his glasses. Then when he got up and greeted me, I hear voices. Turns out there was a video playing on his iPhone. He went back to the bedroom to turn it off. I didn't get to see anything but I hear a girls voice. Is he watching videos of other girls or porn? This is bothering me a lot and when I asked what it was, he said it must be an ad playing and he's not sure how it popped up and started playing What are your thoughts?

 

Did you...umm....notice anything else when he got up to greet you...?

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somanymistakes

If all you heard was "a girl's voice" it could be literally anything. Random youtube funnies. Video ads on some website. Or, sure, porn. The only part that seems odd to me is if he brushed it off with a 'i dunno how that happened' instead of just showing you.

 

Why does it bother you so much? Is there something specific you're worried about?

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All of your posts display a staggering amount of paranoia. Please get therapy. I mean that sincerely, I'm not trying to be harsh. You need help!

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adreamwithinadream

Ok if he was watching porn he probably lied because he was embarrassed or thought you would be mad if he was watching porn. But if he was watching porn what is the big deal? I don't understand why people have such a problem with porn. Porn is just entertainment it's not cheating.

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For most guys porn is just the male version of a vibrator/dildo. Masturbation is a personal tasking. Why would he want to upset you over something that really isn't your business?

 

You gonna be the Masturbation police? (Oh man all my dirty sexy cop fantasies just went hog wild lol)

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I think it bothers me because he sounds like he lies about it. For instance he tells me that he doesn't know how it popped up by itself implying he wasn't using the iPhone. Really?? An iPhone randomly playing a video on its own out of no where?? No, the only way it could have been playing is either he was watching some video on his phone before I came in and didn't have time to pause it (or he thought he paused it) or he was using the phone and his finger slipped when he heard me come in. He knows I care nothing of what he does on his phone as long as he's not showing interest in other girls or porn. Hence why I'm suspicious.

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I think it bothers me because he sounds like he lies about it. For instance he tells me that he doesn't know how it popped up by itself implying he wasn't using the iPhone. Really?? An iPhone randomly playing a video on its own out of no where?? No, the only way it could have been playing is either he was watching some video on his phone before I came in and didn't have time to pause it (or he thought he paused it) or he was using the phone and his finger slipped when he heard me come in. He knows I care nothing of what he does on his phone as long as he's not showing interest in other girls or porn. Hence why I'm suspicious.

 

I'd probably lie about it too if I were in his situation with a wife trying to police my porn and masturbation.

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I think it bothers me because he sounds like he lies about it. For instance he tells me that he doesn't know how it popped up by itself implying he wasn't using the iPhone. Really?? An iPhone randomly playing a video on its own out of no where?? No, the only way it could have been playing is either he was watching some video on his phone before I came in and didn't have time to pause it (or he thought he paused it) or he was using the phone and his finger slipped when he heard me come in. He knows I care nothing of what he does on his phone as long as he's not showing interest in other girls or porn. Hence why I'm suspicious.

 

Yes an iPhone as well as any computer on an open page will often have that ad pop up and assault us with sound. After all something has to pay for this free stuff. Since you sound like his jailer is it any wonder that he will act like a prisoner to hide as his first impulse.

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This is not just about porn it is about a almost total lack of trust in her husband.

Each thread she makes is about something he does or has done to erode her trust in him.

Her gut is screaming daily and that may be due to jealousy and paranoia on her part, but her gut may be right, by what she writes, he could very well be cheating...

He certainly knows exactly how to push her buttons, he has checked out, he lies a lot, and she has the divorce threat continually hanging over her too...

 

OP you are obviously very unhappy here.

Go get counselling not necessarily to "cure" your jealousy/ "paranoia" but maybe to give you enough courage to actually walk away from this unhappy situation.

YOU may "love" him but he doesn't exactly make you happy does he?

YOU are only 35, time to reassess what you are actually doing with your life.

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Sloppyseconds

I really don't get what would be so wrong. Thinknof it this way... you hadn't circled back, and it was just a normal day. You get home, you eat dinner and do the evening routine. Bedtime comes and he seems to be feeling frisky. You've got the energy and want to play. He does a few tried and true things and then sneaks in some new things. Fun things. things you may even like. You have really great night because he saw something and tried it. Also, you cannot possibly be there for his needs 24/7 and I am sure the same goes for him being there for you. No harm watching something you like to take care of a little business. Porn is a non issue in my house. If we watch it we watch it and if we don't we don't. There's no need to hide it from each other. He may have turned it off when you got there out of embarassment, the whole being caught thing. Maybe some open comminication between you could help define what it is that you both seek intimately, and not to be harsh, but you're not his mother. He is an adult and you can't exactly tell him what he can or cannot do. Even if you have clear mindset on what you think regarding porn, it is YOUR view and he may feel differently. He isn't cheating if he is just watching videos. You've never watched a movie with a sex scene? He just went right to the good part! ;)

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People lie about watching porn because they're embarrassed. If it's not something you enjoy together in your relationship then it's awkward for him and he may feel like you'd look down on him. Especially if you've made random comments in the past about porn.

 

Why don't you let him walk in on you watching porn as a way to open up the conversation?

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I can't say if he was watching porn or not, but holy god, I would feel like a captive in a maximum security prison if I were under the sort of scrutiny it sounds like he's on.

 

This sounds more about your own insecurities rather than any sort of behavior your husband is exhibiting. Based on your other posts, it sounds like nothing short of your husband denying the existence of the female species would assuage your fears and insecurities.

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If you do decide to leave him over this, good luck finding a guy who doesn't watch porn...

 

Why not deal with your insecurities and suggest you watch a porn together?

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This is the exact reason I always shut the sound off when I rub one out :laugh:

 

It sounds like he was watching some porn.. if you have an issue with it then speak to him about it otherwise don't let it bother you...

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Okay but coming back to this after reading some of your other threads it's clear something is setting you alert radar off. People do face time and video chat on their phones. They also have phone sex that way.

 

I'm not saying that's what happened. .. In all likelihood he was using porn to self satisfy. But if your radar has been bleeping this much maybe it's time to go Sherlock Holmes.

 

I hope that it's just a case of playing whack a mole with himself when you aren't looking but better safe than sorry. Take leave to come home unexpected one day. See what happens.

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This is the exact reason I always shut the sound off when I rub one out :laugh:

 

Headphones, my friend. Headphones...

 

Really?? An iPhone randomly playing a video on its own out of no where??

 

If this was a true indicator of porn, I'd be in jail on perversion charges. Every website from Yahoo to Sports Illustrated has this annoying feature.

 

Wait - is he allowed to look at Sports Illustrated :confused: ???

 

Mr. Lucky

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somanymistakes

Considering that her radar goes off if he walks past a woman in a crowd, I'm not sure that encouraging her to be MORE paranoid is sensible.

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YES, YOUR HUSBAND IS WATCHING PORN. It's what guys do. He's not cheating on you he's being a GUY.

 

Don't give him crap about it because he's not going to stop no matter what. Accept it and move on. Maybe try watching it with him.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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HereNorThere

I hate to break this to you, but nearly ALL men watch porn. Scientists have tried to study men who don't watch porn and literally couldn't find a single one.

 

If this is something that bothers you, you could always try women. I have to warn you though, they're A LOT more complicated than men. ;)

 

All men watch porn, scientists find - Telegraph

 

Research Suggests All Men Watch Pornography | The Huffington Post

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I just want to state....

 

Watching porn is normal, but there are warning signs if things are really bad.

 

Does he chose porn over sex with you?

 

Does he hoard porn and have it hidden all throughout your home?

 

When he is suppose to be doing something else (ie at work, helping around the house, watching kids) does he ignore those responsibilities and watch porn?

 

These are warning signs that its an addiction. If he is just watching porn once in awhile to please himself, its completely normal.

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He knows I care nothing of what he does on his phone as long as he's not showing interest in other girls or porn. Hence why I'm suspicious.

 

Why does porn bother you so much?

 

I suggest you learn to choose your battles. If porn "celibacy" is that important to you, you should have made that clear early on in the relationship so that the people who feel differently can leave. Otherwise, this way you're just going to burn your relationship to the ground over such a minor thing. Nobody likes feeling policed or (s)mothered. Assuming that the usage is moderate/occasional and it doesn't negatively impact other areas of his life (and I'm guessing it doesn't, otherwise your post would have included that), porn is a relatively harmless indulgence that most people indulge in, like deep fried food or reality TV.

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BettyDraper
All of your posts display a staggering amount of paranoia. Please get therapy. I mean that sincerely, I'm not trying to be harsh. You need help!

 

I have to say that I agree.

 

OP, your paranoia will end up destroying your marriage and I know that you don't want a divorce based on your old posts. You are suffocating your husband with your jealousy. Porn is the least of your worries.

 

It might be a good idea to go see your family doctor for a referral. Speaking to a psychiatrist could be helpful.

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georgia girl

If your husband isn't watching porn, he would literally be the sole man in the universe not watching it. They all do it and they all masturbate. It's a part of life. He likely knows you would disapprove and he would be embarrassed by it or worse, you would actually argue over it. That would be especially cringe-worthy.

 

BUT, it is also very possible it was a pop up - CNN has those annoying pop ups and I look at it every morning before I get out of bed.

 

Pick your battles and hint, this ain't one of 'em.

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