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How do broach this subject


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Old 12th January 2017, 7:43 PM   #1
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How do broach this subject

Iím not sure how to approach this subject with my girlfriend, but I feel like she has no interest in me or shows no interest in how Iím doing throughout the day. Weíve had some problems in the past but have compromised on doing better for each other. This may sound like Iím a pussy or something but I have an interest in her day. I text her every so often asking how her day is going. But she never once asks me how Iím doing or how work is going. When we first starting dating she did, but now she doesnít. Iíve read the 5 Languages of Love and one of my languages is affirmation. I do try to speak her love language and I mostly do pretty well in the category. Here is the tricky part on how I should approach this: Iíve looked in her phone to see who she is conversing with because I want to see if she has time to text her friends during the day and not text me. Iíve found out that she does text her friends throughout the day but basically all the texts between us are me starting the conversation or she doesnít reply. How do I bring this up to her without her bringing up the fact that I know that she texts her friends during the day but not me?
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Old 12th January 2017, 8:00 PM   #2
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More info needed.

Do you live together?
How often do you see each other?
How is your relationship in general?
Have you tried not initiating texting for a few days?
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Old 12th January 2017, 8:00 PM   #3
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I looked back through your previous posts.

Let me ask you this - is she reading relationship books?
Is she writing to forums asking for advice on how to make this relationship work? Is she laying awake at night wondering what she's doing wrong in that you aren't connected with her anymore??
Does she wonder why you aren't interested in what is going on in her life?

She's not????

Then there is your sign.
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Old 12th January 2017, 8:07 PM   #4
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Here is my advice - back off.

Waaaay off.

Stop calling. Stop checking up. Stop pursuing.

Her actions will show you her level of investment and commitment.

If you never hear from her again, you'll know she's not into and it wasn't meant to be.

If after a matter of weeks she contacts you and says you need to "have a talk," you'll know she's not that into you and that it is the end-game.


If she immediately shows up on your doorstep begging and pleading to not pull away and to not walk out on her -

....... Well, we both know that is not going to happen don't we.

I think it's time to start hardening up your heart and getting yourself mentally prepared for the inevitable here.
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Old 12th January 2017, 9:06 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oldshirt View Post
Here is my advice - back off.

Waaaay off.

Stop calling. Stop checking up. Stop pursuing.

Her actions will show you her level of investment and commitment.

If you never hear from her again, you'll know she's not into and it wasn't meant to be.

If after a matter of weeks she contacts you and says you need to "have a talk," you'll know she's not that into you and that it is the end-game.


If she immediately shows up on your doorstep begging and pleading to not pull away and to not walk out on her -

....... Well, we both know that is not going to happen don't we.

I think it's time to start hardening up your heart and getting yourself mentally prepared for the inevitable here.
Except for that very last part which is a little on the harsh side, I agree with this, in lieu of actually just asking her...OP, why DON'T you want to just ask her? Leaving out the part about snooping, I mean. You say she used to ask, now she doesn't. That's enough for your conversation and your complaint. Are you afraid that she'll just bail if you come right out with it? If so, that's another clue, actually, how one-sided this association is. I don't know...I definitely would back way way way way off...if this were me. I'd let her initiate and if she didn't, I'd realize she just wasn't crazy about me and I'd be looking around.
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Old 12th January 2017, 9:15 PM   #6
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Then there is your sign.
And thefilmguy24, not your first one. From wanting "space" to refusing to engage with you, she's been telling you she's just not into this relationship. You're OK to pass time with, but the deeper connection you want isn't happening.

Not sure why you don't get the message, it's been loud and clear...

Mr. Lucky
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Old 12th January 2017, 9:57 PM   #7
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text

My very first thought is, you sound like your very clingy, and its a big turn off to have a BF or GF texting every few hours asking the same questions.. you need to back off..give her some space....
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