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Husband constantly gropes me, wants sex all the time?


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I am with my husband two years, married one, We have had a volatile relationship since we met but we love each other dearly. As much as I love him, lately I feel i can't breathe with him.. he is always around me and wanting sex- most mornings, every night, when out sometimes he'll follow me into the public bathroom and even now i cant have a shower in peace the only break i get is when i am in work, Dont get me wrong I love him and want to please him but its constant, im exhaused! On top of this he is really jealous, more than I thought

 

For example: The other day when i got back from a day with my friend, I had a Starbucks coffee, The guy who served me wrote You're Gorgeous x :) on the take away cup, As i was still drinking it when i got home I had honestly forgotten about the writing but my husband spotted it and freaked out, again. After yet another argument just to p!ss him off i stupidly said that 'maybe the Starbucks guy wouldnt be as insecure with me like he is'

 

This triggered him and he threw the cup at the wall, Grabbed my chin, put his head level with mine and told me to behave myself. We are okay now but his reaction annoyed me, My best friend always says that his fear of losing me is so intense that he'll end up pushing me away. Is there any truth to that? I love him so much & i know i shouldnt complain but he's driving me crazy. How do i handle this?

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We are okay now but his reaction annoyed me, My best friend always says that his fear of losing me is so intense that he'll end up pushing me away. Is there any truth to that?

 

How do i handle this?

 

Probably so. It appears he's already driving you away. Driving a wedge in the relationship at the very least.

 

How do you handle it? You can talk to him. Set some boundaries - let him know you need some quiet time and alone time at home to recharge your batteries so to speak.

 

I'm not sure there is anything you can do to change his sexual desire for you or his jealousy though. Maybe you all can compromise on sex. The jealousy is a personal issue he's going to have to fix.

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Grabbed my chin' date=' put his head level with mine and told me to behave myself. [/quote']

 

Oh HELL NO. He scolded you like a dog. I would never allow a man to control me, let alone man handle me like this.

 

Why do you accept this? I fear his insecurity coupled with a lack of impulse control is going to result in domestic violence. He is already handling you in a disrespectful way.

 

Stay on your toes, do not accept mal treatment. To me, there are some huge red flags flapping here.

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are you really in love with him? (sexually) attracted to him? do you desire him? the way you write it, if I were him (and a man) i would end it with you, you two dont sound compatible whatever the reason:(

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Oh HELL NO. He scolded you like a dog. I would never allow a man to control me, let alone man handle me like this.

 

Why do you accept this? I fear his insecurity coupled with a lack of impulse control is going to result in domestic violence. He is already handling you in a disrespectful way.

 

Stay on your toes, do not accept mal treatment. To me, there are some huge red flags flapping here.

 

This is the first time he has reacted like that with me.

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This is the first time he has reacted like that with me.

 

There is always a first time...

 

....and it won't be the last.

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....and it won't be the last.

 

My initial question was what to do with him wanting see so much . Do you guys think I should just walk away from my marriage?

It's not that easy being in the relationship and being in love with him.

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It'd be kinda reckless to say you should end your marriage based just on a couple posts on the internet, but in general a marriage where there's a weighty controller element on one side and other red flags and some precedent of bad behavior already established isn't a particularly good or promising sounding one. With the most significant danger being that the further in you get, the harder it is to get out.

 

To put it bluntly, if any guy tried to do to me what you described he did to you, there'd be a fist fight. So yeah it's that serious, even if not everyone would react the same way.

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Yeah, I'm not going to tell you that you should or should not end your marriage...

 

But, I will say that sex in a relationship needs to be negotiated such that it meets both peoples needs. I would definitely have a problem with the behavior you describe, it sounds very smothering and controlling.

 

And to say it again, Oh HELL No would any man ever threaten and put his hands on me like that. It may be he first time, but it would definitely be the last.

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It seems like he is laying his claim on you, and that having sex with you so often will ensure you are not taken away by someone else. It is all over the top behaviour and no wonder you are feeling smothered

His jealous streak seems a bit dangerous too. He sounds unstable.

He is, I guess an accident waiting to happen, only I think he will not be the one to get hurt.

Proceed at your peril.

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Grabbed my chin, put his head level with mine and told me to behave myself. We are okay now but his reaction annoyed me,

 

You should be more than annoyed. His behavior is scary and abusive.

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Here is the thing OP, some of his behavior does seem abusive, so you are going to have to deal with that. He really needs to get himself together because some of that stuff is just over the top. If he can't pull it together then you may be forced to get a divorce.

 

On the other hand, let's face it, you are a beautiful woman. Do you blame him for wanting to have sex with you all the time. I sure don't.

 

Also there are a ton of women out there in the real world whose husbands don't have sex with them hardly at all. Trust me, I have been with a lot of them.

 

So, If he can't stop the strange side of his behaviors you may have no choice. But, if he can, through therapy or whatever you could have a great sexy marriage.

 

Also, I am assuming that when it is done properly, the sex is good. Otherwise you would not still be in the marriage.

 

Or am I wrong about that?

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Well I'm going to take an opposing view and say that both of you are bringing trouble to the marriage. Your husband has problems for sure but you also seem to like pushing his buttons. Comparing your husband unfavorably to another man (the starbucks guy) is obviously going to trigger a negative response as it would in anybody. Not saying that it's okay for him to grab you but I get the impression that you are both contributing to the problems.

 

However the grabbing incident combined with his constant groping and expectations of sex whenever he wants it does really warrant concern. Sexually he is treating you like a blow up doll, an object without feelings that should be ready to please him at every moment regardless of where you are at emotionally or mentally. Ugh..actually the more I think about it the more I'm inclined to agree with the other posters that your husband has major issues that could become frightening. Sexually he doesn't treat you like a person. He sees you as a possession and that never ends well.

 

I think that you need to sit him down and tell him this is not the kind of marriage you want to have. His groping and jealousy is disrespectful and makes you feel objectified. Then tell him the only way forward is with professional counselling. If he refuses then I really think you should consider ending the marriage.

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OK so you had a volatile relationship....getting married doesn't make it better, in fact it makes it worse.

 

marriage counseling is your only answer.

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Just so you know, he is using sex as control, not because he is horny. It's a form of abuse, borderline rape. If you can't get him help, which he does, you are going to find yourself in a real bad situation.

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MissCongeniality
....and it won't be the last.

 

Sad but true look because it's Impossible to tell anything about a persons life online even when information is supplied so I oftentimes try avoiding saying anything that will make the relationship end so I suggest anger management and or counseling. If he gets worse leave.

 

Sad thing is I doubt you will leave.

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Well, it's good that gropes you and wants sex all the time, imo. I'd love that. Jealousy, I understand and don't mind, but his little anger display is a red flag. He's probably going to turn scary.

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MissCongeniality
Well, it's good that gropes you and wants sex all the time, imo. I'd love that. Jealousy, I understand and don't mind, but his little anger display is a red flag. He's probably going to turn scary.

I can honestly say the only issue I'd have would be the anger issues as well. So again I'd suggest anger management, counseling but I think for him getting a hobby something to focus is anger on would be wise.

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I can honestly say the only issue I'd have would be the anger issues as well. So again I'd suggest anger management, counseling but I think for him getting a hobby something to focus is anger on would be wise.

 

Agreed. A little space is always good, as long as you're kind about it. If she just continued to do things without him sometimes, he would have to either accept it and learn to enjoy the space too (the best response) or blow up and turn into a scary person, who she'll probably leave.

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