confused jay Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Hi all. In desperate need of advice. Me nd my girl have been together for 5years nw. We r getting married in 2 months,bt im stil nt sure if realy love her or staying for our son. Iv never reali cheated on her bcoz iv never had a reason to. I jst thought it was love bcoz i never felt interestd in other girls. Two months ago me nd my collegue started chating nd we reali started enjoying eachothers company. One day,jst for fun, i kissed her nd she kissed back. Nd it turend into a passionate one. My heart raced. A feeling that iv never felt from my fiance. Not even the first time we kissed. We both are pretty good at kissing. Bt iv never felt a rush like that from her. I thought that it was jst bcoz of the risk i was taking out of lust. Nd thought it would blow over. It didnt. Me nd this girl see eachother every day at work nd every time we kiss ,its an explosion goin off. Nd each day it gets beta. Nd we hvnt even slept together... Prob nw is,i think iv fallen for her nd think she fell for me aswell. Iv never been the jelouse type. For the past 5 years iv seen my girl talk to guys she knew at school, exs etc. Nd never once felt threatend or jelouse. Even if i c thm checking her out. However, when i c a client flirt wit my collegue i cn almost lose it. Which never happend wit my girl in 5 years. Oh, nd when i hv sex with my girl it feels like i hv ED . Nd thats bfore me nd my collegue. It wasnt like that in the begining. Bt it started bout a year ago,where wed get into the mood,my penis would get hard bt thn jst goes down halfway through. Or id struggle to get an erection. Even if we perform oral sex on eachother. Sumtimes i would go all out,bt mostly hv a weak erection nd ejaculate early. Bt with my collegue she jst starts to kiss me thn im halfway hard. Wen i grab her ass i start dripping precum. Nd all men knw once u drip precum ur at ur hardest . So that re asured me that i dnt hv ED(phew!). So the prob nw is,do i go through wit the wedding for the sake of my son nd end it with my collegue. Or should i end it wit my babys mom. Nd take my shot at true love. Anyone with advice for me. Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 my opinion? End it with your baby's mom. Not because of FOR the mistress (because what you feel right now is how everyone feels at the beginning of any romantic relationship and is mostly due to hormones and brain chemicals). Break it off because you don't love your fiance enough to sustain a marriage and you're just going to cause her more heartbreak down the line. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 1. English lessons 2. Tell them about each other and let them decide 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused jay Posted August 14, 2016 Author Share Posted August 14, 2016 Aile D :But how do i break it off with her after all these years. I mean, we did have some gud times. No doubt about that. And what of our son. Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Aile D :But how do i break it off with her after all these years. I mean, we did have some gud times. No doubt about that. And what of our son. Why don't you start by talking to her about how you feel then going to a counselor together. Listen, this is her life too. Don't marry her without giving her the chance to decide if she wants to make a huge life decision with someone who feels the way you do. Just start by talking. Counseling might help if you want to try to stay together, maybe there is something that can be saved. as far as your child...i can't tell you. You separate, she will most likely get custody and you will have to live with the fact you probably will be the one that doesn't get to see him often and be in his daily life. But that will be up to you to step up and also will be up to what type of person she is (if she'd keep him from you out of spite, for example). I don't know. But don't do it for the mistress. Listen, the mistress IS NOT your soul mate. God doesn't send you a soulmate to break up a relationship with the mother of your child. your mistress is a symptom of the bigger problem you guys have in your relationship. She's convenient...and honestly, do you want to be with someone who is ok screweing around with a guy who is attached? she obviously doesn't care about the welfare of your child NOW, she won't in the future either. She's basically your "Out" out of the relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
hoellein Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Hi all. In desperate need of advice. Me and my girl have been together for 5years now. We are getting married in 2 months, but I'm still not sure if really love her or staying for our son. I've never really cheated on her because I've never had a reason to. I just thought it was love because I never felt interested in other girls. Two months ago me and my colleague started chatting and we really started enjoying each others company. One day, just for fun, I kissed her and she kissed back. And it turned into a passionate one. My heart raced. A feeling that I've never felt from my fiance. Not even the first time we kissed. We both are pretty good at kissing. But I've never felt a rush like that from her. I thought that it was just because of the risk I was taking out of lust. And thought it would blow over. It didn't. Me and this girl see each other every day at work and every time we kiss, its an explosion going off. And each day it gets better. And we haven't even slept together... Problem now is, I think I've fallen for her and think she has fallen for me as well. I've never been the jealous type. For the past 5 years I've seen my girl talk to guys she knew at school, ex's etc. And never once felt threatened or jealous. Even if I see them checking her out. However, when I see a client flirt wit my colleague I can almost lose it. Which never happened with my girl in 5 years. Oh, and when I have sex with my girl it feels like I have ED. And that's before me and my colleague. It wasn't like that in the beginning. But it started about a year ago, where we'd get into the mood, my penis would get hard but then just goes down halfway through. Or I'd struggle to get an erection. Even if we perform oral sex on each other. Sometimes I would go all out, but mostly have a weak erection and ejaculate early. But with my colleague she just starts to kiss me then I'm halfway hard. When I grab her ass I start dripping pre-cum. And all men know once you drip pre-cum you're at your hardest. So that reassured me that I don't have ED (phew!). So the problem now is, do I go through with the wedding for the sake of my son and end it with my colleague. Or should I end it with my babies mom. And take my shot at true love. Anyone with advice for me. First off, you're welcome for the edit. If you want real help, use proper grammar. Second, leave your fiance. Why? She deserves better. You say you have never cheated on her, yet you are. You should never, never stay together "for the kids". That never works out and always backfires. Let your fiance find a real man, a man that truly cares about her. Meanwhile, you can have fun with your fling. I bet once it's not longer a fling, the spark dies as well. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused jay Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 This is much more than a fling. If it was i wouldnt be asking for advice. Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 This is much more than a fling. If it was i wouldnt be asking for advice. Fling might not be the right word, but previous poster was right when they said "wait till the spark dies off" That's why I said don't base your decision to leave fiancé off of the new relationship. Because those relationships that start as the overlap, don't tend to work out once reality happens and you're out of the excitement phase and all that. You need to probably get away from both and evaluate your relationship with fiancé on its own and decide if it's with saving and if you honestly tried your best to save it. Chances are this next girl isn't going to be your true love no matter what it feels like now....read the stories, it's a pattern in thee types of situations Don't throw away your fiancé for this girl. Doesn't mean you have to stay with fiancé but don't do it BECAUSE you want to be with other girl. That's where regrets and resentments come in later 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused jay Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 Ohk. Thanx. That kind of puts things perspective. Il definatley think about it... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 And what of our son. Wouldn't that be a question you'd ask yourself before you got involved with another woman? Mr. Lucky 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 1. English lessons Or at least turn on autocorrect... Mr. Lucky 5 Link to post Share on other sites
lucy_in_disguise Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 It must be true love if you're "dripping pre-cum". You deserve happiness and strong erections, so I say leave her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I purposely didn't read one word of this thread. Just the title. And I can tell you the answer to Fiance or Mistress is: neither. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sincerly-KK Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I think you need to re evaluate your whole situation, First of all do the mistress know that you're engaged ?, if not you need to let her know. You need too be honest with your fiancé and tell her how you feel and what you have been doing, I am sure everything seem perfect right now with this new woman because you don't know anything about her and everything is just new and exciting let 6 months go back and see if you still feel the same way, I will honestly tell you don't continue the relationship with the mistress you your headed for a ride is disaster..... Pray about it.....think about your son Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 Hi Confused, having read your OP what I don't get is why you decided to father a child when you yourself seem to be juvenile and not ready for the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood. If you did not have a son with your fiancee then you could have walked out on her with nary a thought in your juvenile mind. However now that you have a son with her you need to do right by your son and by your fiancee. This is the reality of your situation and not the question of getting your rocks off with your new love. Have a good day! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused jay Posted August 16, 2016 Author Share Posted August 16, 2016 Im a great father for your info... I might not have been ready at the time,but who really is. You learn things as you go on. So i know what my responsibilties are. So you questioning my parenthood is irrelivent. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 Im a great father for your info... I might not have been ready at the time,but who really is. You learn things as you go on. I have a feeling you're setting yourself up for an educational experience, you'll learn something from this. If your relationship with your son is important to you, you're headed down a hard road... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 Im a great father for your info... I might not have been ready at the time,but who really is. You learn things as you go on. So i know what my responsibilties are. So you questioning my parenthood is irrelivent. Great fathers don'r screw around with the security if their child's family unit. Ask me how I know...... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Do a little research on how divorce affects children Then do a little research on how men usually get screwed in the visitation department. Then sit long and hard and think about the man that will replace you and be in your child's life daily as a father figure....replacing you. Then think about that mistress and if she's worth it, or it's more worth it to figure things out with the fiancé. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Wen i grab her ass i start dripping precum. Nd all men knw once u drip precum ur at ur hardest . I didn't read most of this nonsense post because I couldn't dumb myself down enough in order to comprehend Millennial text speak, so I had to rely on the posts of others who WERE brave enough to decipher it. But I've heard tell it's always a sign of true love when one is 'dripping precum,' so I highly recommend you choose your mistress. And a remedial English and grammar course as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 DO NOT marry your fiancée. You cannot even maintain an erection with her, how do you think that is going to pan out, long term? Break up with her asap, and work on being the best father you can be to your son and let your fiancée go find someone who does love her. Getting married here would be a disaster. YOU will feel trapped and upset and eventually angry, she will realise you do not love her and only married her for the son. She will grow to resent you and your poor son will be stuck in the middle. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Why did you post this in "Marriage & Life Partnerships" & not "Infidelity"? That's where you should be reading. You need to learn about the 'high' you're feeling groping your partner in crime & the devastation, complete agony that you are gleefully inflicting on your life partner. You're a father. You're not even married yet & you're already cheating on the mother of your child. Why plan to marry when you KNOW already that you're not capable of keeping your vows? Read about infidelity & you'll understand why you're getting the responses that you are. Adultery & good father don't belong in the same sentence. Adultery & "good" anything don't go together!! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 I suppose it depends on which is more important to you - your child or your penis. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Definitely go for the mistress. Call it off with your fiancée. She needs more than you are able to offer. Sort out child support and be amicable. Just tell her you aren't quite able to commit to her. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 I think you should choose neither woman. You aren't ready for a relationship and you are nowhere near prepared for marriage. End the engagement and co-parent with your fiance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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