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UPDATE: Sexless Marriage


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Hello,

My husband and I have been together for about 10 years, married for 3. Throughout our relationship I have known (we keep no secrets) that my husband enjoys porn, and has a collection on the computer. He watches porn almost daily. He has also had issues with keeping an erection, and according to him, this is something he suffered from even before he met me, and even during his "alone" time. My husband is 42 years old.

 

I am not the most sexually adventurous person, and I admit that. However, we NEVER have sex anymore. What troubles me, is that my husband continues to watch porn, and I have caught him masturbating in bed after I get up. I know he does this is the bathroom as well and when I leave for work. When we talk about it, he says that sex together is "vanilla" and boring and that I do nothing to arouse him. He also says that by doing things "solo" he doesn't have the pressure of performing. He told me that I have made him feel shameful and "dirty" all these years, finding what turns him on disgusting and letting him know every chance I get.

 

He continues to look at other women on the street, watch porn, masturbate, and never touches me. It makes me feel horrible to think that I am in a marriage like this. I feel as though he prefers to watch porn rather than be with me. And what he said about our sex life being "vanilla" hurt my feelings as well. Any thoughts?

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He's effectively having an affair with his computer.

 

His justifications are simply ridiculous.

 

Other than unhappily tolerating this, the only options I see are marriage counselling or divorce.

 

Do you have any children?

 

Take care.

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Hi Satu,

No, we do not have children. My husband has always wanted children, desperately. I have not wanted children and have always been hesitant to have any. Throughout our marriage, my husband has always made it known that he enjoys porn, looking at other women, and even taking pictures of them (on the beach, for example). His whole idea is to always have open communication and to enjoy these activities together. Over the summer, I had accepted to watch porn with him. It lasted for about two weeks until I felt as though he was looking at the computer more than me. But during that time, we would have sex 3-4 times daily. I honestly feel that he is not attracted to me at all (even though he swears up and down that he is) and that at this point, the computer has completely taken over. He wants me to do things to turn him on, but at this point, my confidence level with him, is down the drain. I feel that any woman off the street would be preferable to him instead of me.

I have been very verbal regarding my disapproval of all this, as I should be, for a long time. He sees that as criticism and tells me that his emotional connection to me is lost because every time we have sex he feels judged. All I can say is that I am tired of dealing with this.

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Hi Satu,

No, we do not have children. My husband has always wanted children, desperately. I have not wanted children and have always been hesitant to have any. Throughout our marriage, my husband has always made it known that he enjoys porn, looking at other women, and even taking pictures of them (on the beach, for example). His whole idea is to always have open communication and to enjoy these activities together. Over the summer, I had accepted to watch porn with him. It lasted for about two weeks until I felt as though he was looking at the computer more than me. But during that time, we would have sex 3-4 times daily. I honestly feel that he is not attracted to me at all (even though he swears up and down that he is) and that at this point, the computer has completely taken over. He wants me to do things to turn him on, but at this point, my confidence level with him, is down the drain. I feel that any woman off the street would be preferable to him instead of me.

I have been very verbal regarding my disapproval of all this, as I should be, for a long time. He sees that as criticism and tells me that his emotional connection to me is lost because every time we have sex he feels judged. All I can say is that I am tired of dealing with this.

 

In the light of that, I don't see any likelihood of him changing his behaviour.

 

I'd talk to a lawyer and divorce him. Definitely.

 

If you want to examine your options, some short-term individual counselling might be helpful.

 

Don't believe his justifications and excuses.

 

Take care.

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Michelle ma Belle

Dear OP - I feel your pain. I'm not going to rehash my history but I have discussed my story at great length on here many times.

 

I went through the same thing with my husband and it was one of the most painful and destructive things imaginable. I was with my husband a total of 20 years (4 years dating/16 years married) and spent at least half of my married life completely sexless because of his porn addiction...coupled with ED...add a heaping pile of denial...and a dash of resentment for always nagging him and VOILA! A cocktail for disaster.

 

All I'm going to say to this is that my happily ever after did not end happy. After fighting to save the marriage that included counselling and therapy, I couldn't bare the thought of living out the rest of my life sexless with a man who just wasn't "getting it". I was far too young and vibrant to be left for dead.

 

Hopefully you story has a better ending but the odds are against you. Until your hubby sees the affects his porn addiction is having and is willing to seek counselling, it will never get better. And your resentment and anger and frustration will only grow more toxic for both your marriage and especially for you and your well being.

 

There are no easy answers here just self-awareness and lots of hard work.

 

Good luck.

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Well if he's told you that sex with you is "vanilla" compared to porn and is not suggesting anything to give the sex more flavor with you is a problem. It sounds like he has completely lost interest in sex with you. You have said you are not very sexual so what do you do to arouse him? Also the fact that he wants kids desperately and you don't want any has p;robably caused him to secretly resent you. Did you guys discuss having kids before you married?

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Dear Sweet Lady ,

 

-what are your sexual preferences ?

do you like to explore new things ?

-Are you coming from different social background ?

 

-have you rejected him for a long period ?

 

A Man would punish his partner by rejecting her when he feels that she would do no extra effort to make him happy ....

 

I am not defending him I am describing a fact most women are not aware of.

 

Note that during those moments of rejection he could be hiding his desires of wanting you ; because he believes that you are not willing to sacrifice .

 

 

The important is to ask yourself few questions :

 

-Apart from his addiction and issues ; does he treat you well ?

do you enjoy being with him ?

 

-do you fight a lot ?

 

-Is he a nice person, worth sacrificing for ?

 

if the answers are acceptable ; I would say , you need to look at the problem as a sickness ; meaning that if your husband is sick would you just turn your back , definitely shouldn't .

 

If he doesn't treat you well , kick the jerk out of your life even if satisfy your sexual life 5 times aday.

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One more thing ,

 

remember we men express our love physically .

 

and while the lovely Venus tend to be ready for sex only if she is comfortable , we Marsians tend to become comfortable when we have sex.

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He told me that I have made him feel shameful and "dirty" all these years, finding what turns him on disgusting and letting him know every chance I get.

 

There lies the root of your problem. What did you do / say ? Once you make someone feel shameful for being sexual in a committed relationship, you bring the downfall yourself. I dont blame him for taking charge !

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my wife used to tell me just after we finish intercourse that my smell when I sweat is bad even if I took a bath 10 min before...

 

she never accepted to go down on me , even if I am very very clean ,....

 

she never dance for me , or waer lingerie ,or exites me visually ...

 

all above desires are abnormal ...

for years she rejected me though I told her it hurts me a lot ;

 

I hope you are not doing the same ...

 

because if you do , you killed him slowly.

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OP, he's responsible for his actions, and you yours.

 

If the current milieu is unacceptable, state that. Ask him what he suggests to resolve it. Listen.

 

I found, after such a conversation (different marital issues) with my exW after a substantial amount of MC, stating to her face that a D was the healthiest resolution felt really good.

 

IMO, accept the real, establish appropriate boundaries and move forward. If there is fear, accept and address the fear. Same with anger; same with sadness; same with any other emotion relevant to the interaction. Don't fight it. Embrace it and work it. If he's not interested in engaging, that's OK. Move forward without him.

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Do you think there is any chance that part of this started long ago when he wanted children, knew you didn't, and he either became too nervous that you would get pregnant or resented you for not wanting children as he did?

 

Also, no offense, he sounds incredibly lazy when it comes to sex. It's easy to watch porn and pleasure himself, because he can be 100% selfish and not have to worry about you and how you feel. He can then turn it around on you and blame you for not meeting his needs when there is no way he is meeting yours. You also mention that when you were watching porn with him, you'd be having sex with him 3-4 times daily, it's probably not as good for you as it is for him, unless you are in to "quickies". He's getting what he wants, you feel, like crap, and then he blames you for not being interested in sex? Gee, I wonder how THAT happened?:rolleyes:

 

Does he not see his role in this whole dynamic at all?

 

btw, what's with taking pictures of women on the beach and wanting you to be in to that too? That's kind of odd. Is the porn he wants the kind with two or more women and no men? If so, why does he expect you to be interested in that just because he is? It would be one thing if you found watching women to be a turn on, but if you don't,then why does he have the idea that you would want to watch it?

 

Is there any way that you could reach a compromise, and tell him you will watch porn with him, but you want to be the one to select what you will watch, and that it has to be more than "wham-bam-thank you ma'm". Sex shouldn't be all about what he wants and what turns his crank, it should also be about you and your needs too. If he continues to ignore them, then you need to ask yourself if you feel you can live the rest of your life like this. If the answer is "no', and if he is not willing to meet you halfway and do at least some of the heavy lifting when it comes to sex, then you have some tough decisions to make.

 

One thing to keep in mind is that there are lots of men out there who will treat you well, and if your H is not willing to work with you to improve your sex life and other areas in your M that need some fine tuning, then you may have reached the end of the line in your marriage to him.

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One more thing ,

 

remember we men express our love physically .

 

and while the lovely Venus tend to be ready for sex only if she is comfortable , we Marsians tend to become comfortable when we have sex.

 

 

I understand where you are coming from, but for a woman, if your spouse wants sex multiple times a day, and is only interested in his own release- if you get what I mean- then it can be an extremely hurtful experience for the wife.

 

She ends up feeling like she might as well be an intimate object, interchangeable with any other woman, his hand, what have you. Any feelings of love that he may be trying to express can be lost. I'm not saying that every time has to be some long, marathon session that lasts for hours, but that if sex is always focused on his needs, and as soon as he's done that's it, then I'm not surprised she doesn't see it as a bonding experience. Rather, that can make a woman feel very used, and extremely alone.

 

I have a feeling men are probably like that too.

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SomethingToSay

Heres my thoughts:

 

 

1. He obviously has a porn addiction that has caused severe damage to his normal libido. Would he ever be willing to go cold turkey at least for a period of time? Or see a sex counselor?

 

 

2. I agree with prior poster that you judging him and labeling his sexual turn ons as "disgusting" (if you in fact did that) is very damaging.

 

 

3. Im curious how the relationship is otherwise? Im guessing not good?

 

 

I don't see how you two could recover frot his and be happy and healthy without help from a professional and serious willingness to change on both your parts. His changes will be harder as it involves giving up porn and gaining intimacy through sex. Yours will be stopping the judgment and degrading of his turn ons.

 

 

if his turns ons truly are disgusting to you and you cannot /will not get over them, then I see no way around divorce.

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Hello,

My husband and I have been together for about 10 years, married for 3. Throughout our relationship I have known (we keep no secrets) that my husband enjoys porn, and has a collection on the computer. He watches porn almost daily. He has also had issues with keeping an erection, and according to him, this is something he suffered from even before he met me, and even during his "alone" time. My husband is 42 years old.

 

I am not the most sexually adventurous person, and I admit that. However, we NEVER have sex anymore. What troubles me, is that my husband continues to watch porn, and I have caught him masturbating in bed after I get up. I know he does this is the bathroom as well and when I leave for work. When we talk about it, he says that sex together is "vanilla" and boring and that I do nothing to arouse him. He also says that by doing things "solo" he doesn't have the pressure of performing. He told me that I have made him feel shameful and "dirty" all these years, finding what turns him on disgusting and letting him know every chance I get.

He continues to look at other women on the street, watch porn, masturbate, and never touches me. It makes me feel horrible to think that I am in a marriage like this. I feel as though he prefers to watch porn rather than be with me. And what he said about our sex life being "vanilla" hurt my feelings as well. Any thoughts?

 

Are you telling him this, or is he just assuming that? Even worse, is he making that up that to try and make you feel guilty and remove his responsibility for the situation?

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Why did you get married when he wants kids and you don't? I think he resents you for this...but he should have left before now.

 

Have you asked what he'd like to make it not vanilla? He does sound like he can't be bothered and isn't into you sexually any more

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Hello,

My husband and I have been together for about 10 years, married for 3. Throughout our relationship I have known (we keep no secrets) that my husband enjoys porn, and has a collection on the computer. He watches porn almost daily. He has also had issues with keeping an erection, and according to him, this is something he suffered from even before he met me, and even during his "alone" time. My husband is 42 years old.

 

I am not the most sexually adventurous person, and I admit that. However, we NEVER have sex anymore. What troubles me, is that my husband continues to watch porn, and I have caught him masturbating in bed after I get up. I know he does this is the bathroom as well and when I leave for work. When we talk about it, he says that sex together is "vanilla" and boring and that I do nothing to arouse him. He also says that by doing things "solo" he doesn't have the pressure of performing. He told me that I have made him feel shameful and "dirty" all these years, finding what turns him on disgusting and letting him know every chance I get.

 

He continues to look at other women on the street, watch porn, masturbate, and never touches me. It makes me feel horrible to think that I am in a marriage like this. I feel as though he prefers to watch porn rather than be with me. And what he said about our sex life being "vanilla" hurt my feelings as well. Any thoughts?

 

I almost never say this... but dump him. You're wasting your time trying to get somebody to change when they really don't want to. Read any book on sex addiction, and you'll see that without intervention and without the addict truly WANTING to change, it's just not going to happen. And it sounds to me like he doesn't even think he's got a problem. He wants to whine about how you're running down his self esteem when he calls sex with you "vanilla" and prefers his computer screen? He's the victim??? :rolleyes:

 

I don't think so.

 

Seriously, you don't want to be sitting around decades from now wondering where the hell your LIFE went. Get out. If he manages to pull his head out of his hindquarters before you find a man who's into an actual relationship and a REAL woman, great. If not, you've only lost about 200 pounds of dead weight.

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Dear OP: There has to be context to this story because My ex couldn't kiss me for the duration of our relationship, was not affectionate, not into hugging, or cuddling. She would make comments like "do I have to sleep with you again" and would not ever think about wearing lingerie for me. She made it seem like I was disgusting for wanting to see her in lingerie. But she had no problem doing any of that for her ex-boyfriends including making sex tapes...sorry...but anyway... I withdrew. Its difficult to maintain enthusiasm when you are repeatedly shutdown. So, is his reaction ( his porn obsession ) something that has always been there or did it follow after you made him feel "shameful", "dirty", and "disgusting"? I think depending on the answer you should either leave immediately or seek mutual counseling.

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I totally understand where your husband is coming from. A kink is something you want to do. A fetish is something you have to do or it will gnaw at you until it is fed. My wife realized that vanilla sex was not enough for me and did something that most wives would not do. She invited her girlfriend to have sex with me and then live with us. My wife knew my reputation years before we even met so she knew what I needed. Her girlfriend was into my main fetish and willing to try anything I suggested.

 

My wife's girlfriend and I were together for most of our 40+ year marriage and she and my wife became lovers too. When that ended a few years ago, I turned to porn because my wife had gone through menopause and had a very low libido and could not have intercourse anymore due to medical reasons and preference. Porn allows me to be in an orgy one night and then have my butt whipped by a dominatrix, the next night. I can orgasm to any type of sex that I fancy each night. These days, many men are living their sex life online. If you visit fetish and sex websites and forums you will find men posting about things that they never really do in real life but do them online.

 

There really is no solution to a marriage between vanilla and fetish people. You can at least try things. My wife tried almost everything and found that she liked a few of them or did them just to please me. I also had the freedom to seek out sex partners outside of my marriage so my wife knew that if she declined to try something it meant that I would find someone else to. When her girlfriend was with us, she was as kinky as me so she satisfied those sexual needs that my wife could not or would not fulfill. It worked for us and kept our marriage alive and fun for more than 40 years.

 

We may not be the poster married couple but we were more interested in preserving our love and marriage than being monogamous. My wife did things that she would never tell anyone about. Sometimes she did it just to please me. At least she tried and perhaps you can try. Read about the fetish. Many have psychological roots and if you can understand them, you might enjoy them.

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dreamingoftigers
I almost never say this... but dump him. You're wasting your time trying to get somebody to change when they really don't want to. Read any book on sex addiction, and you'll see that without intervention and without the addict truly WANTING to change, it's just not going to happen. And it sounds to me like he doesn't even think he's got a problem. He wants to whine about how you're running down his self esteem when he calls sex with you "vanilla" and prefers his computer screen? He's the victim??? :rolleyes:

 

I don't think so.

 

Seriously, you don't want to be sitting around decades from now wondering where the hell your LIFE went. Get out. If he manages to pull his head out of his hindquarters before you find a man who's into an actual relationship and a REAL woman, great. If not, you've only lost about 200 pounds of dead weight.

 

Married to one myself.

 

It was about a five year fight, him slipping a disc and us separating that finally sparked some change. It's still crappy though with our sex life. It improves slightly and then nosedives again (although right now it is more pregnancy linked).

 

And mine KNEW he had a problem.

 

Sweetheart, RUN RUN RUN and don't look back.

 

You could turn yourself into a human pretzel trying to appease this man and he won't even look at you because he's hooked on strange.

 

If I could do it over again, I would just pack up. You'll find the VAST majority of past and present wives of porn addicts say exactly the same thing.

 

There are plenty of men out there that want to get it on and they are taking pictures of strange at the beach (how creepy).

 

Find a man that appreciates you and leave this dud to his whatever. He'll figure out eventually that you are gone.... somehow.

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ShatteredLady

By this.....

 

"He told me that I have made him feel shameful and "dirty" all these years, finding what turns him on disgusting and letting him know every chance I get."

 

....does he mean pointing out his porn addiction & how much it hurts you?

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And your resentment and anger and frustration will only grow more toxic for both your marriage and especially for you and your well being.

 

Sweetheart, RUN RUN RUN and don't look back.

 

I almost never say this... but dump him.

 

Wow. Three who've gone through the same thing give remarkably similar advice. OP, plan accordingly...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Yes, exactly right! He was into online porn from the beginning. But he was never secretive about it. He never has been secretive because he wants a relationship "where he can be himself" (his words) and he wants a "partner". I have simply asked him throughout the years "do you know how I feel when you look at other women and you watch porn everyday?' "What do you think that does to my self-esteem and my motivation to try and seduce you?" "How would you feel if I had sex with you once in a while, but everyday I watched porn, at times took pictures of other men walking around?" His answer to the last question has always been: "I feel secure in our relationship and I wouldn't care. At the end of the day you are with me. Looking doesn't matter."

He has an answer for everything. Yesterday morning I got up and went downstairs to make coffee. He was still in bed. I went back up to the bedroom and he put the covers back on himself quickly. I know he was masturbating. I sat on he bed and he seemed annoyed and said "What's up?" He didn't even look at me. I simply sat up and walked out of the room.

I don't know if he knows I understood what he was doing, but his reaction really hurt me. I am right here, in the house, and he prefers to do things by himself.

I have been in other relationships before him, and I have never felt so disconnected from my own sexuality and my own attractiveness as a woman. I feel he values a porn star more than me. I resent him for that.

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dreamingoftigers
Yes, exactly right! He was into online porn from the beginning. But he was never secretive about it. He never has been secretive because he wants a relationship "where he can be himself" (his words) and he wants a "partner". I have simply asked him throughout the years "do you know how I feel when you look at other women and you watch porn everyday?' "What do you think that does to my self-esteem and my motivation to try and seduce you?" "How would you feel if I had sex with you once in a while, but everyday I watched porn, at times took pictures of other men walking around?" His answer to the last question has always been: "I feel secure in our relationship and I wouldn't care. At the end of the day you are with me. Looking doesn't matter."

He has an answer for everything. Yesterday morning I got up and went downstairs to make coffee. He was still in bed. I went back up to the bedroom and he put the covers back on himself quickly. I know he was masturbating. I sat on he bed and he seemed annoyed and said "What's up?" He didn't even look at me. I simply sat up and walked out of the room.

I don't know if he knows I understood what he was doing, but his reaction really hurt me. I am right here, in the house, and he prefers to do things by himself.

I have been in other relationships before him, and I have never felt so disconnected from my own sexuality and my own attractiveness as a woman. I feel he values a porn star more than me. I resent him for that.

 

Don't expect that to improve.

 

Seriously.

 

I can't explain why these guys feel it's okay to treat their wives / gfs that way, but I have rarely found one conflicted about it.

 

It's like dating a drug-user. They don't want to quit. They want you to shut up about it. And no, they don't really care "if you use drugs too" because at least then, you would shut up about it or not have some "moral high ground."

 

And if you bring up how their drug use affects you, they play victim. "Oh you act like I am a bad person or bad boyfriend or something. Wahhhhh."

 

Don't do this to yourself anymore. It doesn't get any easier over time and you just end up feeling like you are wasting your life.

 

My husband and I got down to less than 10 times a year and honestly, it just seems like a chore to him. Blah. And that's without the porn around anymore. I swear, it just fried his brain and there's just not the same connection at all.

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Don't expect that to improve.

 

Seriously.

 

I can't explain why these guys feel it's okay to treat their wives / gfs that way, but I have rarely found one conflicted about it.

 

It's like dating a drug-user. They don't want to quit. They want you to shut up about it. And no, they don't really care "if you use drugs too" because at least then, you would shut up about it or not have some "moral high ground."

 

And if you bring up how their drug use affects you, they play victim. "Oh you act like I am a bad person or bad boyfriend or something. Wahhhhh."

 

Don't do this to yourself anymore. It doesn't get any easier over time and you just end up feeling like you are wasting your life.

 

My husband and I got down to less than 10 times a year and honestly, it just seems like a chore to him. Blah. And that's without the porn around anymore. I swear, it just fried his brain and there's just not the same connection at all.

 

This makes a lot of sense.

 

Your H expects certain things from you, but is not willing to reciprocate. He is all for "openness" when it comes to what he wants, but is unwilling to give your needs the same respect. He is unwilling to try and understand why your self esteem has been put through the wringer.

 

He also sounds incredibly lazy, and no offense, a little creepy. Expecting his wife to enjoy taking photos of women at the beach with him, then insulting her because she isn't in to that? The laziness comes in when he would rather watch porn and pleasure himslef than have sex with his wife. It's easy to "go solo", as all he has to do is think about himself and what feels good to him. He doesn't have to take the time to make sure you are enjoying the sex as well.

 

Ask yourself this, if the tables were turned, and you were the one watching porn that was all nude men while ignoring him, expecting him to enjoy taking photos with you of men at the beach in their speedos, doing a 180 to stare and drool over every cute guy that walks by while you are with him, wanting to have sex but only for as long as it took for you get off and then it was over, and he was the one left feeling frustrated and hurt. If he tried to talk to you about it, you basically told him to suck it up buttercup and stop complaining as you aren't meeting his needs?

 

How would that make him feel?

 

What if, after all that, you turned it around and blamed his feelings of hurt on him for being so "vanilla" and not as " open" as you? If you used his need for intimacy that goes beyond watching porn to hurt him and take pot shots at his sense of attractiveness and self worth? If the only needs that mattered were yours, and you made him feel about two inches tall for expecting him to value and cherish you?

 

It's one thing to be sexual adventurous and try new things in the context of a loving relationship. That's a two way street, and depends on both parties feeling good about it. One would not hurt their husband or wife. If they knew that they were, they would talk about it and try and find a solution that worked for both.

 

It's quite another to treat your spouse like crap and completely ignore the fact that you are hurting them. This is what your husband is doing to you.

 

If this is a sexual addiction and not just him being a jerk who gets off on hurting your feelings, then you can't make him understand how your are being hurt by all of this. Like any other addiction, his need for a "fix" will override everything else, and he will walk all over anyone in order to get it.

 

If he's just being a selfish boor, again, you can't expect him to see your side of things as he simply doesn't want to.

 

In both cases, he is what he is, and you have spoken to him about how you feel. He made the choice not to listen.

 

Ask yourself how much longer you are willing to live like this. If the answer is " not anymore" than I would suggest you see a lawyer, if only so that you have the information you need about your options so that you can make informed choices about your future.

 

I would also suggest that you separate, if only for a little while, to give both of you a chance to gain some clarity and decide what you really want without all the stress of being under the same roof. This doesn't automatically equate to a divorce, but it will give you both some time to think about what your next steps will be.

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