howdoiknow67 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I have a 6 year old daughter who lives with me and my 1 year husband. He has 4 kids of his own that he rarely sees. lately, he's been very argumentative in front of her. She's cried. I've seen her scream and beg us to stop fighting. Today, I took her for a walk (she's 7) and told her I'm sorry ...and that she's right. No arguing in front other. My husband was mad because I booked a surprise getaway for him and her this weekend. He said we didn't have the 1k I spent. Turns out he was just mad because it would take away from the 7k trip he planned for January. SO i canceled and got a full refund...still wasn't good enough for him. He started screaming that no one was going on ANY trips. Well my daughter was super excited. He got in her face and said...NO ONE is going ANYWHERE... She's an innocent victim here. Then she started ignoring him while he was asking her if she indeed wanted to go. He said "don't act stupid..." She said that's not nice...he said "well don't act stupid..." Then he started screaming at me again...I told him I wasn't responding because I agreed with my daughter....no fighting. He said...I don't care what she thinks...this is my house and some kid isn't going to tell me how to behave. Now she's cryinng....locking herself in her bedroom etc. He says I'm not being a strong parent and putting her in her place.e Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I have pretty strong parenting beliefs. You're a stranger on the Internet but to be honest with you I was even turning into a mummy bear listening to your depiction of events! I want to jump through the screen & protect your daughter AND you!! I can't!! You NEED to do that job. Please tell me that he has some redeeming qualities!?!? I wouldn't have your H in my house if he spoke that way infront of children let alone TO children. In my opinion he's shattering your little girls self esteme & her view of adult relationships. If he talks that way to a 7 year old how does he talk to you? You asked, "Is this abuse?'. In my opinion YES!! Is he also verbally abusive to you? Is all of the shouting because you won't allow yourself to be bullied? I've been in an abusive situation....it only gets worse!! Little by little I lost myself & I'm not confident that my self-esteme will ever recover. Why would you allow a man to treat you this way? I feel bad for you. Why would you allow a man to do this to your baby? I'm angry with you! I think you, like many who post on forums, already know the answer to your question. Change your life! Best wishes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 She's not a stranger. Mods have been alerted. Don't waste your time or emotions. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I feel so sad for your daughter. If you don't want to leave this man, is there another responsible loving adult your daughter could live with? Maybe her father or grandparents? The environment she is in now is toxic and will damage her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 She's not a stranger. Mods have been alerted. Don't waste your time or emotions. It's as abusive as this. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/558967-abuse-should-i-leave Dozens of threads started, nothing has changed. Why, OP? Why? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 YOU start off by demeaning his character ( 4 kids. irresponsible) YOU are both fighting in front of your kid YOU are upsetting your husband with frivolousness and a forced guilt trip -literally YOU are now accusing your husband of abuse ..wow It sucks to be him.mmm Link to post Share on other sites
Author howdoiknow67 Posted November 26, 2015 Author Share Posted November 26, 2015 I don't believe I am characterizing him wrong. Yes he has 4 kids from a previous marriage. Not irresponsible but I must admit he has very little to do with them. He says he gave them up for me. He focused on me. Not them. I have always encouraged that relationship but he has said his focus is on me. Yes i had a surprise trip for him. It was 1k. I canceled it the minute he said it was too much. But HE had a 7k trip on "hold" That we could afford... Just 2 weeks after?? He fights in front of my daughter and grabs my computer and phone and goes through it in front of her. She has witnessed it. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 OP I have a sincere question for you? What are you getting out of posting these stories over and over again about your boyfriend? You start a thread telling us all the horrible things he has done and ask us if it's abuse. Everyone tells you, yes it's abuse, he's horrible and you need to leave. Then you come back, post more horrible stories and everyone tells you again that he is abusive and you need to leave. Over and over and over again. Why do you keep posting here? You don't heed anyone's advice and you don't change anything. You seem to enjoy your drama filled abusive toxic relationship so just go live it and stop complaining about it, but please don't subject your innocent child to this. Let your ex husband have her/him and you can go visit from time to time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I feel so sad for your daughter. If you don't want to leave this man, is there another responsible loving adult your daughter could live with? Maybe her father or grandparents? The environment she is in now is toxic and will damage her. I've said all along the father would be the better full time parent (when the daughter was a son, or whatever). IIRC, he's not a bad guy. Sad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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