vernix Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) This maybe the most daring post I did ever on the Internet. Some of you may have remembered me from previous post. Apparently, we really have lots of downs than ups in our relationship. I couldn't count how many times I've caught my husband's viewing Japanese Porn from the internet. The links are not in the browser history, but I found it from the Search history of his Gmail inbox. He is saving Japanese porn links to his emails, and I think it's for future viewing purposes. Today, I checked his Pc again and found a Saved Folder with 3D pictures of Japanese school girls of about Elementary age. I got really disgusted by it. Now, I'm wondering if my husband has a mild pedophilia or he was just curious one time. But heck why would he save it? I also think that this is the reason why he likes Japanese porn, the age and the youthful actress really is his addiction. So, what I did was configured our Internet and blocked known Japanese porn sites even the American ones just in case. [This is what] he will view whenever he attempts to visit porn. I can't wait for his response. To be honest, this is making me sick to my stomach. I think my husband is sick and I need to bring him in a counselor or therapist. I felt cheated still, because of his porn addiction. Anyways, just wanted to release my thoughts with you guys. Edited August 31, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I don't see anything wrong with porn usage as long as no one is withholding sex from either partner. OP, do you and your husband have regular sexual relations? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Why didn't you just discuss it with him directly? What you've now done is very passive aggressive. Blocking him? He's a grown man and obviously will do what he wants. Seems you have a decision to make = you either stay knowing he views porn knowing you don't like it Or You divorce him Take action if this actions are unacceptable to you and he's not planning to change. But talk with him. That's what adults who are healthy do. Communicate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vernix Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 I don't see anything wrong with porn usage as long as no one is withholding sex from either partner. OP, do you and your husband have regular sexual relations? I would be posting here if don't have a good sex life. So yeah, we don't. I'm lucky to have it once a month, or once every 2 months. I really do believe though that this is the reason why we have a dried out sex life. I would always initiate, but nothing. He even lost his erection so many time during our sex. Please check my previous threads. I've discussed this with him and he said he's trying to stop. I have no one else to turn to, I live far away from my family and so I figured releasing my thoughts here. We would always talk. But it appears he's really not going to change. I keep hoping that something inside him would somehow change. but nope. Yea, I'm very aggressive now. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 We would always talk. But it appears he's really not going to change. I keep hoping that something inside him would somehow change. but nope. Yea, I'm very aggressive now. I believe you have a bigger issue than porn usage; that is just one of many symptoms to a larger problem. Have you discussed marriage counseling and the lack of intimacy in your relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 But it appears he's really not going to change. I keep hoping that something inside him would somehow change. but nope. Then you have your answer, no magic phrase any of us here can give that will change his preference. Seems your choices are limited: - get him into counseling - live with it - don't live with it. You might ask his opinion as to what you should do, his response might be telling. Sorry for your difficult situation... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Winterina Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I am surprised that everyone overlooked that the porn he is viewing is that of elementary school girls!! If this content is viewed and saved on his computer, the criminal law says that the guy is a pedophile. They are scumbags of society. Hope OP does not have kids with him. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I am surprised that everyone overlooked that the porn he is viewing is that of elementary school girls!! If this content is viewed and saved on his computer, the criminal law says that the guy is a pedophile. They are scumbags of society. Hope OP does not have kids with him. Agreed the defence of the viewing of porn is NOT applicable to this topic. This is a very serious issue indeed. The police would be very interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Today, I checked his Pc again and found a Saved Folder with 3D pictures of Japanese school girls of about Elementary age. I got really disgusted by it. I don't see anything wrong with porn usage as long as no one is withholding sex from either partner. I see something wrong with his porn usage. He's a grown man and obviously will do what he wants. Seems you have a decision to make = you either stay knowing he views porn knowing you don't like it... That's what adults who are healthy do. Communicate. Does he sound like a healthy adult to you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Do you know for sure these girls aren't of age, or do they just look young. Highly doubt your husband just has free willy nilly access to that kind of thing. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Do you know for sure these girls aren't of age, or do they just look young. Highly doubt your husband just has free willy nilly access to that kind of thing. Whether or not they are of age or not, is an issue for the police to suss out. They MAY be eighteen and look like four year olds, you could be right... And why wouldn't her husband have access to that type of thing? Paedophiles find ways. The problem for the OP is that he is getting his kicks watching porn containing girls who look like they are in elementary school ie 4-11 years of age, and that is scary: that is paedophilia. That needs police attention. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) I think I've read all of your posts now. Can I ask some questions? When you very first 'met' was it on a regular dating site? I'm thinking he went searching for your specific nationality. You were young when you first posted your picture (from your ages now & when you first started writing to eachother) did you look particularly young? Are you petite? Who's idea was it to move to Japan? What are the circumstances of that? Can you move back to the USA or would it be impossible to convince him at this point? I think you NEED to divorce! It NEEDS to be in the USA! I'm usually a romantic who encourages people to work things out but he's ringing so many alarm bells for me. I think he's a pervert who's still finding his 'thing' (the more of your threads I read the more I think this). He had a stereotype of who you would be. You're a real woman with a brain! This isn't doing it for him. He tried the sex thing but you're not what he wants. He's going more 'ethnic' & smaller & younger. Have you looked at any of the porn he's watching? Is it violent? Is it very young? (other than the pictures). A grown man who gets turned on by prepubesant girls IS A PERVERT!! You NEED a divorce & I would do it through a USA lawyer! This isn't just porn. He's taking you out 'hunting' for young girls to watch in 'real life' too. Completely ignoring you while staring at them. He's weird! Edited August 31, 2015 by ShatteredLady Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I am surprised that everyone overlooked that the porn he is viewing is that of elementary school girls!! Actually I did not overlook it. I used to own an Internet Service Provider that specialized in hosting Japanese porn. 99.9999% of it is comprised of Japanese girls who - because of their heritage and culture - just LOOK like elementary school girls. Their ages have been verified and all are legal, but it is a common fetish so it is very prevalent. But it is also part of the reason I am out of the business. I made a lot of money at it but the creep factor definitely got to me. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 you need to discuss proper boundaries with him about his porn watching. a lot of guys watch porn, and that is fine. but if he is doing illegal things on the computer, he can end up in jail/losing his job, etc. so you need to lay down the law, monitor his online activity, and really stop him from this. maybe there are alternative kinky sex things he might like, such as role playingor bdsm? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I cannot believe that looking at kiddy porn or porn that looks like kiddy porn is something the OP should be expected to just live with. Is everyone so brainwashed and jaded re porn here, that no-one is surprised and shocked, that a man is turned on by prepubescent females? Is paedophilia just a "fetish" and we should all calm down? Having sex with kids is just sooo normal after all... Is it now so much just "the norm", that she should just ignore his porn collection of "kiddies", and that she is somehow to blame here for getting herself into a tizzy... Perhaps she needs to start looking and dressing like an 8 year old to feed his fantasy... smh 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 He sounds as though he's obsessed with his fetish of young, nubile Japanese girls - to the point where he doesn't even find you attractive anymore because you don't fit the visual image. I don't see this as an addiction to porn, it sounds MORE like an obsession with a FETISH. Sure, you can put some kind of blocking feature on your router and treat him like a teenage boy who isn't allowed to view porn. Big deal. He'll just find other ways to satisfy his craving. Blocking him is NOT going to stop his fetish nor is it going to make his desire to feed that fetish go away. The guy is a deviant and you can't magically fix him all by yourself. Is this the type of marriage you want - policing him for the rest of your life and 'demanding' that he stop doing what he's doing and always trying to stay 2 steps ahead of him? I cant imagine anything LESS appealing. I'd so be at my lawyer's in the morning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jason115 Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Those models are all over 18. They are chosen because they look 13. Many Asian women look much younger than they are. School girl fetish is huge in Japan and that's what the customers there and elsewhere want. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 porn is just a person's way of exploring sexual preferences, without actually cheating to do them. So, maybe there is some way you can replace his porn love with sex with you. Maybe you can find a Sailor Moon suit and a blue hair wig to wear in the bedroom, for instance. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Quote - "Those models are all over 18. They are chosen because they look 13. Many Asian women look much younger than they are. School girl fetish is huge in Japan and that's what the customers there and elsewhere want.". That doesn't make it right! 'CUSTOMERS who BELIEVE they are watching a prepubesant child being abused are not the kind of 'men' I want living on the same PLANET as my elementary school age children!! If your 8 year old daughter wanted to go to a sleep-over at that guys house would you let her? We all know it's wrong (on so many levels) to be watching child porn. Can we all agree on that? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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